Phantasm


A vein opened and words began to flow, something  I have no control over .

Spirits, voices, callings … I don’t know what flows in my veins and make my fingers tap the keys. Delirious and feverish with something beyond my knowledge I flow. Out of a swirling black misty dream a path emerges for a while, then closes within a dream. Did I tell you I am a dreamer, a seeker ?

There are times  one needs to change the  path and move on to a different road. A more exciting road,which emerges out of nowhere and just goes on.  A  dangerous and mysterious road. Unknown, Unseen.That’s when you cut yourself loose.  Shed all inhibitions. Just be yourself and listen to silence of the spirits around you.

Am I fooling myself , they ask. Is it that I create these visions around in my dream space to feed my insecurities and fears. Who knows he reason. Who wants to know. They help me find myself.

I feel there are many ‘ Me’ inside this ‘ I’  that I am. They all reside in small little compartments waiting for their time .

We dream that is why we live or else we exist .

Someone asked me am I really what I say I am for I don’t connect with the poet me, writer me and my voice does not have the power to convince the thoughts I portray . I smile .

No, I am not that.

I have no idea who I am.

There is that Me which people see in flesh and blood but that’s just a body, a vehicle for my soul and a treasure chest that holds an unruly heart and a devious mind. I have the hell and heaven inside me.

I , is not defined .It is nameless orphan of silence.

Do not try to know me by my face or my aging sick body. It is nothing but a mirage. An illusion .

Look deep if you have eyes to see like I do.

Why is it that people do not believe when I tell them spirits and souls exist. They roam around and connect with right match.

You are plugged in with or without your consent . All is not love, sometimes you just get sucked in and have no place to run to and then they make you rise the storm , they spin you till all becomes a blur.

Battlefield

Unruly heart&devious mind at it again. Words as weapons are sharp. Loaded. I am watching from a distance. Scared of the result. This one time I trust the spirits around me. The storm is rising again. Swirling with great intensity every moment that passes. I try to see… just a blur. I know they are there. A vein is cut . I see the ink flowing like a river in rage. Red ink, the color of blood. What next?

The heart is unruly but very courageous. It bleeds so I can dip my pen and paint pictures with my words. The devious mind … oh never mind..

There is light and there is darkness. All within. There are monsters, demons and there are strong, courageous loving female spirits that ever walked in the universe. We just have to know the difference. A hard thing to learn.

I recently got connected with some beautiful souls animals and humans  each with an enigmatic aura. Reaching out from nowhere.

They just know and seek you out. Especially the female spirits. They have strong invisible blood bonds .

You break , you change , you expand and then there is a release . Sometime you reach that point of combustion and then  Nothing.. you wait .. it is not time yet.

Someone watches from behind the night’s curtains.

Some one I don’t know

A spirit which could be  manifestation of my imagination . A new birth of a crushed desire .

We take pride in knowing Love and affection .We talk about the beauty of it and yet we know nothing of it. Nothing at all. whatever you think Love is , is not actually .  Of course it is debatable .

We frown when words like Lust, passion and longings are spoken.

Hypocrites that we are.

Humans have made things so complicated.

Something life was never meant to be.

We have caged life in chains of so-called emotions.

When all it is to life is an uninhibited, unrestrained approach.

I long for that. The I that is really Me.

We are either spectators or exhibitionist and never ourselves. We are performer to please the rest and then we take our place in the crowd and watch others perform. An endless activity .

The dream catcher is meeting the word weaver and there is lots in store.

Spirits move around me. Silent Observers. Is there a calling ? Let them decide the path

I felt it again some days back.

A male spirit at my feet when I was fast asleep. Usual time around four in the morning. I was asleep yet conscious of its being there. It wanted me to get up and insisted to sit up. Shaking my feet gently. Normally I would have opened my eyes and looked for it but this time I could not . Eyes felt heavy, drugged. I did not want to take any journey with it this time ( this time because I had a feeling I had gone on one before) I just played tired and lethargic and in a flash of a moment I was pulled to a sitting position . As if  pulled by both arms . I woke up instantly but still could not open my eyes . No feeling at all, just curiosity. I kept sitting, no movement and then rolled back to sleep. Something that usually doesn’t happen.

I feel it around at times , a caged desire ?

Spirits , they show the path themselves  , they send souls to unravel the secret. I AM WAITING

Breast Cancer : Stay Aware : Stay Positive: Stay Healthy


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The incidences of breast cancer in India are on the rise and is rapidly becoming the number one cancer in females pushing the cervical cancer to the second spot. The seriousness of the situation is apparent after going through recent data from Indian Council of Medical Research(ICMR).

It is reported that one in 22 women in India is likely to suffer from breast cancer during her lifetime, while the figure is definitely more in America with one in eight being a victim of this deadly cancer.

I had been reading about the role positive thinking plays in cutting down the risk of any dis-ease especially cancer. There have been instances where the cancer ha got completely cured just by will and positive attitude.

Every woman should do BSE (Breast self examination) to feel if there is some lump or swelling. If she finds one, she should undergo mammography. Every lump is not cancerous so there is no need to panic. Breast cancer detected on time can prevent morbidity and mortality. Pap smear and colostomy pick up the cancer of the cervix in very initial stages so now a days chemo is not required in all cases.

No one knows exactly why a normal breast cell becomes a cancerous one, and there is probably no single cause. It is thought, however, that breast cancer results from a combination of risk factors. These risk factors can be grouped into several categories:

Hereditary risk: It has long been known that women whose mothers or sisters had breast cancer have a higher risk of developing the disease themselves. Recently, it has been discovered that breast cancer can develop when a woman inherits a breast cancer susceptibility gene from one of her parents. However, it is important to realize that 85 – 90 percent of breast cancers and NOT hereditary, and that all women need to be screened for breast cancer, even if no one in their families have ever had the disease.

Hormonal risk factors: The female hormones estrogen and progesterone are involved in breast cancer formation. For example, it is known that women who start to menstruate at an early age, or who have a late menopause have a higher risk of breast cancer than women who do not. It is also known that women who take hormone replacement therapy after menopause have an increased risk of breast cancer.

Age: Breast cancer becomes much more common as women grown older.

Gender: Most breast cancer occurs in women, although about 12,000 cases of breast cancer occur in men in the United States each year.

Diet and Exercise: Studies have shown that women who exercise are less likely to develop breast cancer than sedentary women. Studies have also shown that women who gain weight after menopause have an increased risk of breast cancer compared to women who do not.

Early breast cancer usually does not cause pain. In fact, when it first develops, breast cancer may cause no symptoms at all. But as the cancer grows, it can cause these changes:

a lump or thickening in the breast or armpit

a change in the size or shape of the breast

discharge from the nipple

a change in the color or texture of the skin of the breast or areola (such as dimpling, puckering, or scaliness).

Any changes in the breast should be reported to a doctor without delay. Symptoms can be caused by cancer or by a number of less serious conditions. Early diagnosis is especially important for breast cancer because the disease responds best to treatment before it has spread. The earlier breast cancer is found and treated, the better a woman’s chance for complete recovery.

Visual inspection looks for changes in breast contour, new dimpling, nipple inversion, discharge, moles, puckering or persistent sores. Palpation is using the pads of the fingers to press down and feel the tissue around the breasts for any unusual lumps.

Mammography is an x-ray of the breast that reveals suspicious areas that are denser than normal breast tissue or have abnormal deposits of calcium. Mammography is an important screening test which can show a breast cancer long before it is big enough to be felt in the breast. Women over age 40 should undergo a mammogram every year in order to detect breast cancers when they are small and can be treated easily. .

Ultrasonography uses high frequency sound waves that enter the breast and bounce back. The pattern of their echoes produces a picture called a sonogram that detects whether the breast lump is solid (possibly cancerous) or filled with fluid (non-cancerous). An ultrasound is usually recommended to evaluate a palpable breast lump or an abnormality seen on a mammogram.

Amongst the thousands of genes we have, some genes make ‘protective proteins that act as brakes’ in a normal cell that is going thru the cell cycle. The cell is genetically primed to grow to a certain size and then divide to form two new cells, then grow again and then form two cells.

Normally cell division is required, during foetal development, to carry new born babies and children to adulthood, to regenerate injured tissues etc. but the body can’t have such divisions happening unchecked therefore it makes proteins that act as signals for the cell to stop dividing… sometimes a mutation occurs in the DNA of cells leading to NON production of the protecting protein in such cases the cells goes on dividing ultimately forming cancer.

Genes that make protective cell cycle ‘braking’ proteins are termed “tumor suppressor” genes. They have the above described function in normal cells and these genes are seen to be inactivated by mutation or silencing in tumors… hence termed tumor suppressors.

In breast cancer, BRCA tumor suppressor gene was identified a decade or more back. It is mutated and silenced in hereditary breast cancer patients who form a small percentage of all breast cancers patients. Very interesting finding of great use in diagnosis and prognosis but most breast cancers are non hereditary and BRCA gene was not associated with these common cancers.

When I read a book by Louise Hay called ‘You Can Heal Your Life I thought it was just another self help book but slowly as I practiced the methods of positive healing from there I gained so much confidence and learned to manage even the slightest pain.

Everyone should keep a copy of this valuable book.

The simple way of bringing change in my attitude brought tremendous change in my physical, mental and emotional health. Everyday I do these positive thinking exercises and see the result immediately.
During my days of illness, the stress levels had gone much beyond any limits of my thinking and this particular book truly healed me. Without medication and any medical help I came back to good health. Even now I manage daily dis- eases with it and try tokeep myself free of guilt, hurts, pent up emotions, regrets or any such negative emotions.

The power of positive thinking is one way to avoid the risk of any cancer especially breast cancer. Positive thinking is a mental attitude that anticipates happiness, success and favorable outcomes in every situation or action you do. The thoughts get registered in your subconscious mind and you start taking action to create favorable change.

A positive outlook can help you to cope better with stressful situations and can change your life for the better.

Connect with your inner

Connecting with your inner or listening to the instincts is one of the most common ways to develop positive thinking. Whenever any negative thoughts enter your mind, try to replace it with a constructive one. For example, “I won’t be able to do it” will be put forward as “I will do it”. Practice this regularly and you will soon be able to master your mind. Mind is a devious thing and one should never let it overpower us.

Meditation is the key

Meditation calms the mind and relaxes the body. Meditation gives inner strength, peace of mind, relaxation and a sense of bliss, which helps to think positively. So, regular meditation can lead to a calm inner and healthy mind, body and soul.

Always see the brighter side of life

Try to believe that everything happens for a reason and embrace the concept that something good will come out of every situation that momentarily seems bad. Always look on the bright side of life and it will work wonders for you.

Communication helps in a big way

Not saying the things you feel can give a sense of frustration, anxiety and anger, thus giving way to negative thoughts. Hence, communication is an important aspect of positive thinking.

Believe in yourself

Believe in yourself and your capabilities to become more confident. Make a positive commitment to yourself and to the people around you. Praise yourself and be enthusiastic. Love yourself and say it often that you are blessed by the positive forces around you. Staying connected with the universe around you helps in big way.

Tips to positive thinking

Be optimistic and expect favorable outcomes in every situation.

Cultivate the habit of reading inspiring books.

Find reasons to smile more often. It’s a great stress buster.

Try to use positive words, e.g. “I can”, “it will be done”, “it is possible” while thinking and talking.

Engage yourself in enjoyable recreational activities.

Interact with people who have a positive outlook in life.

Positive thinking needs consistent effort as you are creating a new habit. On the other hand, negative thoughts can rip your focus from your goal. There is no greater joy than living a healthy and positive life. So take charge of your mind and think positive. Remember, you are what you think.

This is my NaBloPoMo post for today.

Disclaimer : I am not a doctor or healer. All the information is gathered from articles on internet or books. I have just put them in my words for the benefit of my readers. Thank you.