Street Symphony

I hear voices in my head
They counsel me
They understand
They talk to me

The song played softly as I went for my evening walk today. It was late and I decided to stay close to home. Although the lane was full of kids of all shapes and sizes I maneuvered my way and managed five leisurely rounds.

It is very interesting to watch these kids while their mothers and care takers engage themselves in healthy bitching about various people ranging from MILs to some young servant in the next lane.

I switched the music off when I realized that the loud street symphony was making it hard for the voices in my head to do their job.

There was this little chap who resembled a tiny Slim Shady with his colorful clothes and funny street hip hop dance . He must have been around two years of age but a great entertainer. 😀  Standing in the middle of the lane  with  finger pointing in the direction of  his young mother and her bitching partner he was performing a gibberish song .

It went something like zzzzzzbbbeeehhhhhhhooooooozzzzoooooo (loud) ttttooooooooobbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrdddddddddddmmlllllll

This whole thing was accompanied by a spot hip hop kind of infant dance.

An Awesome performance 🙂 Not really enjoyed by the disenchanted caretaker who  silently  gazed at nothingness, oblivious to all of us.

I looked at my elder one for some help .

“What do you think he is saying ?” I asked

Parce que j’ai le jeu, mes chiennes !!


” coz I got game, bitches. “

He explained.

My loud laughter shook the young woman and brought her back to reality . She gave us a stare and  kid walked away.

A little ahead a group of small girls in various attires was jabbering away senselessly . I wondered how  they manage to listen and talk at the same time at such speed. (They start young, don’t they 😀 )

I could just catch some broken words  like

” doctor” “teacher ” Papa” “Mummy”  “naaaah” ” stop” “wait wait” ” (claps) ” school” ” boys” ( giggles) “shut up” “movie” and all other jumbled up  girlie talk.

They jumped up and down like yo -yos  creating  yet another noisy street symphony which seemed to follow you even whenever you went.

The mother of that infant hip hopper and her bitching partner had meanwhile decided to take a stroll along with us. Just ahead of us they exchanged their tearful sagas of being harassed housewives. I was surprised how easily the cuss words came. After every outburst  came a few words of advice and encouragement to fight it out boldly from the listener while the talker went on about what kind of rotten egg her MIL is .

I skirted past them and breathed some fresh air.  The fire-breathing dragons continued  to cherish their bond while we moved on to find the infant again performing at high pitch in front of his home. This time alone. He stopped to look at us as we smiled and ruffled his curly hair.

Suddenly the bicycle gang arrived  spoiling our walk on the moonlit road and to add to our woes they began to do stoppies and drowned all the other voices by their shrill bells and shouts.

We leaned against the parked car and watched the chaos . Adi decided to add some music to the already existing cacophony and switched on his mobile song player at full volume.

Amidst all this noise pollution my eyes caught sight of the most dreaded female of our lane. The staring monster of a woman who resembles Mrs. Trunchbull (Matilda) .


I saw Adi turn around and run upstairs . I knew  what caused this sudden escape but I was determined to give it back to her  this time. So I stayed and stared hard at her as she passed me by. One hand on hips and one swaying by her side.  I kept staring at her back knowing she would turn and she did . I loved the puzzled look on her ugly face.

Smiling I ran up the stairs and gave a high-five to Adi.

I learned a lesson : Never go for a walk in the lane between 6 to 7 unless you want to submit your mind ,body and soul to the devil.


The junkie and the workaholic

It is a lovely romantic Sunday afternoon. Rains always make me nostalgic and dreamy but today I am in laughter mode. 😀 Feeling better after days of weakness and worry. Those who missed the update This iron lady has iron deficiency 😀 … how Iron- ic  😀 !

Well , after a pampering stay at ma’s home I am back in Hell but this time to rule . When your spirit rebellious is unleashed it gives a thrill beyond comparison. Being away from the mess gave me a sure idea about my place in the universe, goals and the path I want to choose.

I make my rules and live by them irrespective of anything. That’s my motto for the time being  and the biggest task is to get back my health..physical, emotional as well ans spiritual.

What happens when you leave the house to a junkie ( younger brat) and a workaholic ( hubby) ?

The main door opens with a lot of effort. The dust makes me wonder what hit my house when I was away. I carefully make my way through wrappers, papers, dust and clothes hanging everywhere. One look at the kitchen tells me – Avoid it .

The beds are hardly visible under heaps of clutter which includes crumpled bed sheets, half nude pillows, men’s clothing of all shapes and sizes. Under the bed are bottles, cans, wrappers ranging from toffee to wafers. Old news papers are shoved near the computer which is struggling to breath from behind the cables dangling all around it.

“Who strangled the computer ? ” I ask. No one responds. I sigh and closed the kids room. My own bedroom is wrecked beyond recognition. Losing my temper I question with whatever energy left after a long drive in the sun.

“What the Fuck ..  Is this the way to live? How were you guys living in such a mess?”

The six-feet tall brat and his over worked dad averted their gaze and mumbled something about work, matches, school, time etc.

Something about “No woman around the house” made my blood boil. I picked the line and gave them back with such vengeance that who ever said that ( I am sure  it was my hubby) will remember to think again before stereotyping gender roles.

I am not impressed. Although I am not a cleanliness freak but this was too much. I cleared six feet of space to lie down. My body revolting at the touch of the dirty bed but I needed to rest a bit.

After a while I decided to make the dinner. The elder brat had pushed off to buy the daily  grocery as the placed lacked even the usual stuff like cookies etc.

The other men in the house had quickly shoved all the clutter in various ” not easily noticable” places. I ignored and moved on to the bathroom. Maybe a shower will help.

Jesus christ in heaven ..I said , remembering that I was sinning by taking God’s name.

I cursed the lazy lot and cleaned the bathroom, took a shower and entered the kitchen

It seemed freshly scrubbed. The men had decided to bury themselves in newspaper and football highlights. I felt like smashing the idiot box but the love of the game made me check my moves.

After a hard work of exploring the entire kitchen for various ingredients I needed a simple meal of Veg pulao was dished out.

All this time my monologue continued. The master and little devil had lowered the shutters on their ears.

No sooner my elder one returned I poured my heart out to him. The large tears hanging precariously in the corner of my eyes and the tired look helped and I got my first hug of the day.

“Don’t worry matee, all will be well chill maro. ” He said sweetly.

I nodded like a good girl and digged into the sweet, juicy ripe flesh of the mango. Some things are just too good to resist especially in such circumstances.

The night slowly brought the desired calm and I made a mental note of what all I had to do next morning. It included a separate session for all the three junkies.

The next morning revealed hidden treasures. A Box of Pink color Barbie Band-aids ( my FIL’s) 😀 was the biggest find of the day.

The dusky maid  and her magic broom brought out  banana peals, broken hammer, screws of various sizes, dirty smelling socks ( explaining the cause of the strange smell), some hard soiled edible things which resembled alien stuff, broken compass, colors etc .

The latch of my godrej almirah was brutally damaged and broken. The Jr. brat  explained that he needed an ID proof so he had to break open. What all is missing remains a mystery till now.

The worse thing that happened was destruction of the Mayna Nest.

Third time in a row , the beautiful Mayna couple (   permanant residents of our store window) had build a lovely eco friendly nest. Something like a high rise building with green shinn ing leaves at the four corners. It was a beauty and we were early waiting to film and shoot the whole thing but unfortunaely My inlaws removed it at the first sight.

They believe in an old wives tale that Mayna who does a lot of chitter chatter  brings bad omen and fights between family members. So the home was wrecked and thrown out. 😦

Today things seem to be under control. The threat of heading back to the comforts of my ma’s place worked beautifully and they have made less mess in the last 48 hours.

The weather has helped immensely to cope up with this devastation. Everything inside the four walls of this house seems to be breathing easy. The trees outside are swaying gently. There is a slight drizzle and the birds are chirping merrily.

The junkie is happy that the issues were resolved without bloodshed all thanks to the football matches and my love for them.

The workaholic is busy working more hours as the hell has its rightful queen.

I am feeling good


All izz well in my world :).

A Caption Contest Trophy For Me :)

My dear friend  lazy Pineapple recently had a caption contest on her blog . It was great fun to take part . Some of the captions were so hilarious. I won the contest along with two other bloggers. The trophy is beautiful and worth displaying

Thank you LP for this precious treasure .

I am sharing the picture and the caption which won me this coveted prize .

Enjoy 😀


Add a little laughter to your life .. save it from getting extinct .  😀  😀

It pyz 2 enrich ur wrd pwr :D Lingo fkd

The summer holidays have began and my brats are busy gaming, eating ,texting , chatting and endlessly talking on the phone. ( when I said I thought only Girls talk so much . they replied Yes they do we just listen 😀 )

Growing up with kids can be fun and a new learning experience.  If the title of the post sounded like Greek to you  then it is time for some lessons in language or the lingo of  youth.

The Gen -X has brought a revolution in the spoken and written language  and to understand this criptic lingo I asked my boyz to help me.

Over the period of time I am sort of a pro now 🙂 .

If you ain’t slanging, you ain’t bangin’ (hip, fun or exciting)

These youngsters bend rules, twist and turn the words, make comboz, shorten the words by even adding the numbers ( L8 for late)

New phrases are added every day and one needs to sharpen the claws all the time.

This generation is in a hurry, they have so much to say and the characters in the mobile are less so to fit in , the shorter the better.

Then there is a whole new text and internet lingo with all its abbreviations ROFL – rolled off floor laughing ,  ROTFLWTIME (rolling on the floor with tears in my eyes) and the rest of it. The C is replaced by K so COOL becomes Kool and S by Z – boys becomes Boyz, folks- folkz please – plzzzzzz , you can add as many z as you want)

They speak in plurals and vowels are dropped easily , one can cut the double letter also so cool will be kool or kewl or better will bcm betta. Sometimes some letters are understood better by being silent like OK  will be just K

Inovation is the key please can be written as plees, plz , pls etc.

Yes the baby talk is so much IN

cho chweet ( so sweet),  awwwww, hugsie wugsie , mela shona,kishi wishi, dudnite ( good nite/ night) are rolled out easily.

Nouns are a big put off just call it Thingie – whts dat thingie?

The dudes and babes or dudz  n babz love to experiment.

Local flavor spikes the lingo and I have a whole collection of thz

They have their own pharases and idioms

In Hindi

Hath me aana or phat ke hath me aana 😀  ( to be very scared) or the shorter version Phat gayi, lag gayi

When they mean someone is getting after or nagging  they say

meri to leni kar rakhi hai . lolzzzzz

Haandna is roaming around

funda is Point .. funda kya hai – whts ur point?

there are a lot like Chat mat – don’t eat my brains or bug me)

Chep is a Pile on

Bhais ki aankh is  is a phrase used by thoz who do not want to use cuss words

they have their own way of greeting also

Bhootni ke kahan tha ab tak

abuses are used randomly in greetings ,the closer you are the bigger the cuss word

totta is used for a hot girl

Dimag ka dahi and bheja fry are also two popular phrases  which may mean  got brain fucked . 😀 we will come to the use of this golden word later 🙂

They even join the two words to make fantabulous ( fantastic and fabulous), chillax ( chill and relax), Offum ( d F lingo) , Fucktard ( fucking retard)

Gosh  the list is endless

Dhakkan is uttely stupid so is dick head or shit head

English, Hindi or any othe regional language can all be jumbled up even bambaiya hindi is IN.

They may not pass the spell bee bt they are aweffun ( awesome and fun)

That brings us to the golden four letter word FUCK. the word has immence possiblities in terms of usage and can express anything , any emotion, it can be used as trasitive and intrasitive verb, noun, adjective , adverb you name it. It is that magical word that can describe pain, anger, pleasure just about anything.


I saw this video of  Osho on you tube. do watch , it is hilarious

Here is a usage list:

1)Greetings…………….”How the fuck are ya?”
2)Fraud………………..”I got fucked by the car dealer.”
3)Resignation…………..”Oh, fuck it!”
4)Trouble………………”I guess I’m fucked now.”
5)Aggression……………”FUCK YOU!”
6)Disgust………………”Fuck me.”
7)Confusion…………….”What the fuck…?”
8)Difficulty……………”I don’t understand this fucking shit!”
9)Despair………………”Fucked again…” or Fuck it
10)Pleasure…………….”I couldn’t be any fucking happier!”
11)Displeasure………….”Fucking shit man…”
12)Lost………………..”Where the fuck are we?”
14)Retaliation………….”Up your fucking ass!”
15)Denial………………”I didn’t fucking do it, I swear!”
16)Perplexity…………..”I know fuck about it.”
17)Apathy………………”Who really gives a fuck anyway?”
18)Suspicion……………”Who the fuck are you?”
19)Panic……………….”Let’s get the fuck out of here!”
20)Directions…………..”Fuck off.”
21)Incomprehesion……….”How the fuck did you do that?”

It can be an anatomical description………….”He’s a fucking asshole.”
It can be used to tell time…………………”Its five fucking thirty.”
It can be used in business…………..”How did I wind up with this fucking
It can be maternal………………….”MOTHERFUCKER!”
It can be political…………………”Fuck Lalit Modi !”

The way you say it explains what you mean by it  watch the video of  Raknish who had a remarkable sense of humor . 😀 that’s fuckin amazing I must say

No other word can be so versatile  as Fuck and it is One global word understood by one and all all across the globe.

Osho ends it withand I quote

” And it is very healthy too. If every morning you do it as a transcendental meditation… just when you get up… the first thing… repeat the mantra, f*** you, five times… it clears the throat… that’s how I keep my throat clear….enough for today!”

Indivine post. plz vote

Life After Death : What’s Your Plan ?

Heaven, Hell or Someplace Else????

We all talk about where we will eventually go after death and as I was chatting with my kids I realized that all we wanted was to lead a great life on earth and let our spirit find its own destination. This is what I felt about the choice between heaven and Hell.

I never want to leave this beautiful planet. I want to stay here as a spirit and make my presence felt on the earth for the people who love and care for me and especially for those who dislike me yet say sugary things on my face and cuss words, the moment I am out of sight.

I want to be here for all those so-called priests, shamans, healers and other exorcist who are minting money by supporting the superstitions and beliefs of the masses by practicing witchcraft and exorcism. Maybe I can be reborn as a witch and haunt these scoundrels who fool innocent minds.

In India and many places around the globe, even after such development people are still rooted to age-old superstitions and rituals which make them do long expensive pujas (religious ceremonies), beat the pulp out of women for being a living witch or to remove  presence of a bhoot (bad spirit) from inside a person instead of treating his delirium and fits, clinically. Many people die due to this lack of awareness.

As a free spirit I want to sojourn among the beautiful mountains, valleys and all those secret hideouts and much desired “you will not go there ever” places.

Being a spirit is going to be great fun too . Imagine the endless things one can do without being noticed. I leave the list to your imagination. That is one more thing one needs to set free.

I strongly believe in reincarnation and also that we wander across the timelessness in soul groups. I would rather make a cult called ‘Souls on wanderlust’ and conduct soul tours on earth.

I do not want my obituary to say “so and so went for her heavenly abode. May her soul rest in peace”.

I doubt if there is any peace in heaven.

I do not believe in this Heaven and hell concept but even if I did, who wants to go to Heaven anyways? If ever there is a question of choice I would any day prefer Hell. I guess atheists are not welcome in heaven for all that we know.

Better to rule in hell than serve in heaven.

Here are my reasons for my preference.

The heaven is too crowded with people who are confused whether they want to be there or elsewhere .Most of the people there do not fit into the rules and conditions laid for heaven goers. Almost all in the list of ‘went to their heavenly abode’ list have a dubious record on the earth .Everyone seems to be heading for heaven regardless of what they are .Imagine the list of people you will meet if you stay in heaven. You could not see eye to eye with them on earth how will you survive in heaven? It sure seems like an absolute madhouse to me.

Heaven is surely plagued by chaotic conditions with a heady mixture of saints and angles and our esteemed personalities from all walks of life .I marvel at the way God must be handling that entire crisis above that has shifted from earth during ages and is still continuing.

I often think if there are boundaries and LOC’s in heaven too, for hell is the same for everyone irrespective of religion caste or creed, Heaven on the other hand is seen differently by different cultures, religions.

There are so many Gods and so many views.

What is life without a dash of color in it! Imagine people roaming around in white robes surrounded by cherubs and holy men singing the praise of almighty 24/7 .That’s music to them. Not my kind of place.

Indian side of heaven will have more gods than people and there will be continues struggle for a little space for each one. Gods dresses in fine silks and laden with gold and diamonds. A scene straight from some Bollywood movie. There will be bhang (cannabis plant leaf), dope and sura (local liquor), apsaras (women), exclusively for our Gods. Won’t that break heart s of many living there? How frustrating.

At least in hell there is no such system .It is each one to its own and there is always scope for home improvement .We can always make it a better place to live in. The best part is that I will be ‘greeted by loved ones’. As far as the raging fires and boiling oil drums go, I think that’s a publicity gimmick by those who stand for heaven, just to attract more people.

Heaven is no place for honest fun-loving people. Too many rules .Too much ‘holier than thou’ attitude.

No bars, no clubs, no adventure and no sex, no romance. The place seems to be worse than our earth. The pleasure factor is totally missing.

How we going to live man?

To all those who will say that the things I mentioned will end with the body and the spirit does not seek pleasure or experience pain, I want to ask one question.

If what you say is true then, why this over powering urge to crowd heaven? The unending rituals, ‘one good deed a day’ and that entire eye wash that we do to attain nirvana and ensure our place in heaven. Why not settle for hell or some place else? Why not just enjoy our stay on earth and let the soul take its course after death.

This discussion is endless and controversial too. I, for one, do not want to be a permanent resident of any of the two places .Though hell would be a place to come back to in case of emergencies. Most of the time I want to tour with my ‘Souls On Wanderlust’ (SOW) buddies and I am sure there are hundreds willing to join me, they just need to connect with each other. So, I am not going to heaven, see you in hell buddy. Hey do not forget to join my cult.

I already have two members.

This seems to be a great job for a jobless person like me .

Seven Random Things About me – A Fun Tag :)

The tag bug visits again.What exactly is tagging ?

Tagging v. A  gripping game played in the Blogosphere where bloggers link with each other for no apparent reason. From  The International dictionary of Blogosphere.

( stolen definitions are always the sweetest 😉  just like stolen kisses)

Zephyr Tagged me to do this Tag long time back and somehow it kept getting postponed. What are the seven random things I want to share with you all ? Well most of my friends know most of the things about me but still I will try to add some flavor to it.

Read and discover.

1. I am a magnet for troubled souls or as my elder one says for ” dukhi aatmas “.

It is a privilege , a curse, a boon I do not know how you will feel but I know that many a times I feel that I am the chosen one for listening to the people with broken hearts, troubled marital life, domestic problems ranging from the homes of my domestic help to those of my friends, frustrated people disappointed with life and many more who need a shoulder to cry on. They come and pour out their hearts ( to the annoyance of the entire family) and I feel like sitting behind the curtain in a confession box saying .” lay bare your soul and become light-hearted). The new addition to the dukhi atma group are young love birds for whom I turn into a love guru. Sigh !!

Oh yes , the virtual ones. Poor souls. I feel very strongly for my virtual troubled souls and jokes apart I do feel blessed that I can bring some solace into their lives even if it is for some short period. It  is a responsible job and trust me  very difficult too.  The worse thing is I get so emotionally involved with each one of those troubled souls that in the end myself become One big dukhi aatma .

Well ! Each one of us has some purpose to serve on this planet earth. Maybe this is one of the things I have to do before I conk off.

2. I am youngest of the three kids in the house.

🙂 This makes me very happy and my hubby very concerned. As if it was not enough to have two brats that he got blessed with an absolutely crazy child woman. It is fun to relive the childhood with my boys. they tease, play, scold ( oh yes) 😦  and bond so well with me. I feel loved and so warm from within to have such strong-willed , loving sons who are my best buddies too. The eldest of us three kids  is actually the youngest. ( my second son) and the elder one actually is almost my age. lol

Confusing ?

Kids think I am a chinky gansta when I dress up in low waist three quarters and carelessly thrown in Tee. They tower over me so I become choti matee or small ma or hamster when I curl in and make funny faces while reading or working on my laptop. It is fun. Fun because we have bridged that generation gap and think alike even though we all know where to draw the line.

Many of their friends are my buddies too and think I am a ” cool mom ‘  and that feels good. At least some one appreciates.

we play, go bonkers at night ( we are night creatures), have our own secret language, we are complete foodies, love to watch horror movies, Adi and I are totally into spirits, werewolves, ghosts, supernatural and he being the elder one provides all the major info on each subject. I am just a student. Sometime we just go crazy and laugh till our tummy aches.  It is a circus out here and we all go paglot and suglot which of course is not at all appreciated by the man of the house but them life is all about living it to the fullest.

I have been able to realise and relive many of my childhood things just by letting my inner child walk along with me, absolutely free.

It also helps me forget the pain and hurt of a life I lead.

3. I hate it when people interrupt mid sentence and start telling their own story and then try to finish the sentence  for you every time you open your mouth, and it happens with me all the time. It is the most irritating annoying thing I know of.For heaven’s sake can one have one uninterrupted statement. Stop reading people’s mind.

4. I speak and write  for a change . Although I am not always able to bring that much-needed change in my life and maybe I am not that tough to stand up against all that I go through in my home I think my opinion counts and one more voice against the issues which are usually pushed under the carpet or need our support to bring a change in the mindset of people  is important.

Be it Marital rape, child abuse, crime against women or men, guy rights, sex education or any such issue

you can read them all here  Writing for a change

5. I love to draw on a  fogged up mirror . It is one thing my son loves too so many a times we leave messages for each other to decode and its fun. I usually make a graffiti or leave a quote or an emoticon like a heart or devil depending on my mood. Talking of moods, it is also a place to vent your feelings 🙂 . try it

6. I am a chocoholic and never ever share my chocolates with anyone. I love  dark bitter chocolates, After eight and orange flavor are my favorite apart from the liquor filled ones .uuuummmm

Give me some bars of chocolates and a few books and I can live forever on that. Of course a laptop can be an added delight just in case I feel like blogging. Netaddict that I am.

7. some more random stuff

I love snakes, raptors, spiders, insects and all that the nature offers. I feel that we should open our heart to all that is around us and connect with it. I feel that we are all free-floating souls and once in while our heartstrings get attached with some one some where whom we have never seen and yet we seem to feel the pull. I feel that the universe has immense power and if we trust the process of life it guides us and we are able to decode its signals. I rely on my gut instincts and believe that the  inner instincts are alway right. Society for me is double-faced so I make my own choices and as far as possible do not give in to so-called ” social” norms , values, pressures. That is what I teach my kids. Worshipping God for me is loving and respecting oneself and the life in general.

All those reading this please consider yourself tagged .

Of chocolates and secret hiding places

Who moved my chocolates?

“Life is like chocolate, it’s the bitter that makes one appreciate the sweet”

The scene opens at T’s Den 😉 ).

The main Male protagonist visibility shaken by the events of the day is speaking on the phone with his MIL. The anxiety writ large on his face.

The main Female protagonist is furious and is holding a court . The accused or for now I can call them suspects are her two teenage children.

The offence – robbing their mom off her two precious bars of dark chocolates .

The question that baffles MP is How can the mother control the kids if she herself is equally childish ?

Childish ?????

The FP is pained. Only those who have passion for the sacred thing called chocolate or chocolat as the French call it can understand the feeling .

Sensuous, silky, bitter, sweet, nutty, fruity, intoxicating aromatic chocolate.

The arguments continue and the tension mounts . The suspects plead not guilty  but their plea is brushed off .

The MP is still trying to find some logic and calls his wife’s mother for some much-needed help but discovers that  the chocolate crazy MIL is proving to be of no help and is actually siding by his tantrum throwing wife.  He is not amused. He curses and slams down the phone .

The boys have taken a vow of silence (any thing you say will be held as an evidence against you) and are pretending to look as innocent as they possibly can.

The questioning continues.

The bars of chocolate in question were hidden at a secret (supposed to be secret) place to be eaten at leisure at some perfect time but now that box stares at the owner. Empty. Not even some leftover crushed pieces. No sign of any evidence.

The situation is grim .

After  long session of one woman verbal onslaught everyone is tired.With damp eyes and broken heart the FP declares that the suspects are grounded till they confess or at least find the culprit.

There is a loud protest and slogans about child abuse and freedom of children and their rights .They all fall on deaf ears.

The court is adjourned .

The MP tries to put in his efforts to calm the situation but there seems to be no end to the flying tempers .

The boys want the sanctions to be lifted. The FP wants her prized possessions back. The MP wants peace on at least one Sunday of his life.

FP decides to take a day off from the kitchen and pulls a quilt over her head and sulks. NO Chocolates,  No FOOD.

The suspects bang the door to their cell (room) and accuse each other of having put the other one under suspicion.

The MP picks up his car keys and rushes out in rage .

Uneasy Silence descended at T’s den.

The scene closes.

Scene 2 opens with the MP placing two new bars of liqueur filled dark chocolates on the table with strict orders to the boys to lay off them.

After an endless wait the FP finally decides to work on her beloved  PC and leaves the sulk bed to come to the other room.

Her eyes catch the gleaming bars of deliciously sinful bars of chocolates on the dinning table .

With rising emotions she picks them up and places them close to her heart. In a matter of a moment all her anger, hurt and pain  melts away.

Such are the magical soothing effects of chocolate.

There is a sigh of relief from MP who knows that it is time for one more happy ending .

The suspects sit on their beds waiting for the verdict.

FP finally gathers her emotions and sets them free of the charges under Benefit of doubt.

The younger of the two boys gives a tempting mischievous smile to his mother, who in turns hugs him fondly but one thing is clear.

Nothing in the whole world can make her share her chocolates, you have to earn it to eat it .

Afer the incident the kids learned some new state of the art tricks to outsmart their mom. They say every generation is better than the previous one. 😀 My kids certainly are proving it right and my mom never fails to give that evil smile that says .. “I am loving every bit of it,  you deserve it all honey.”

Zephyr’s post Hide and Seek reminded me of my childhood days when mom tried her level best to hide food stuff  like laddus, toffees, burfis, cookies, chocolates and other such sumptuous delights and I would always ferret them out. It was a great advantage to a die-hard foodie like me that my elder brother had lactose intolerance and all the sinful basundi, ashrikhand and other yummy stuff came my way including the nuts and raisins which he disliked in the smooth flowing kheer etc.  but still I resented that ma should make that extra effort to hide laddus ets.

She would tell dada where exactly she had managed to hide the laddus for him and he would look at her with pity, knowing the box would certainly be empty. I never disappointed him. Ma still hid things.

The fun part was that the places she decided as the safest easiest to find. Something to do with my being super sensitive sniffer. It was not just the usual things that mom had to hide, unusual stuff like imli, anardana, etc needed much more protection. The case of the missing imli ( tamarind) remains a popular story that ma loves to narrate to my kids when I complain of their  hide and seek adventures.

As a little girl I loved to eat raw tamarind and ma would hide it at most unusual places and one day when she would be off and in mood to make that delicious aamti or sambhar  she would call dada to recover the goods only to find that her plan had failed . She would only find traces of the tangy delight and some pits. 😀

I would close my eyes ,ears and pretend dead till the storm died down. Never had I imagined that I would get boys who would shame me with their awesome skills of not only finding the hidden things but also hiding them.

Blackmail is the only thing that sometimes works with them when I discover something missing. Unfortunately both my boys have developed exactly the same tastes as me and every time a drama like the one above takes place I feel guilty of doing all that I did as a kid. But these are the joys of childhood I guess. Childhood, did I say ? ;D

Well, you can’t blame someone for doing this,  it’s all about having undying passion and love for that particular delicacy.

It’s jungle rule here.

Take care of your stuff,.

Beware of the robbers.

Eat or drink as soon as the thing enters home to avoid being left out.

Eat your fill 😀

Keep cordial relations even with the enemy, you never know when you will need allies.

Discover new unthinkable places to hide your booty and

If you can not do any of this just show who is the authority here. 😉 That pretty much works.

One of the best places to hide chocolates is the vegetable tray in the fridge. Just put the bar or box there and load the veggies on top of that. Till now it has worked. 😀

The idea is to keep changing the secret hiding places every now and then and always keep your super sniffing nose clean 😀

Cross posting Prat’s Blog : An Amorous Antithesis

I starting reading Prat’s Blog Ginger & Cardamom and found how aromatic and spiced up life can be. He is an excellent blogger and writes poetry, humor, stories, personal and philosophical articles. His blog always has a fresh flavor and a frangrance to die for as far as blog writing goes.

Here is one awesome post I want my friends to read.

An Amorous Antithesis

Amorous Antithesis

Prat says ,“I got a forwarded mail regarding a competition which appeared in Washington Post, the competition asked for a two-line rhyme with the most romantic first line, but the least romantic second line.

I am not sure if this competition is genuine but it was a good challenge. So I thought it would be a great idea to try something like this.

This is the poem I came up with-

My darling when I saw you, I fell in love for the first time,
On retrospect that is till date my most horrendous crime.

The beautiful twinkle of your eyes and the tinge of light blue,
The bill of those contacts on my credit card are still due.

Your lovely walk, inviting a thousand glances and riveting stares,

Read the rest by following the link. Have fun .. I am sure you won’t regret this one adventure 😀 .. The poem was selected as Blogadda’s Spicy Saturday Pick.

Thank Prateek

Hot and Spicy Punjabi Wedding

The dhoom dharaka of the Delhi’s designated wedding season is on. Very few auspicious days, shortage of venues, too many people tying the knot and the gold hitting 18,000 mark per 10grms, is a reason to worry for many. Still Delhi saw approximately 32,000 shadis on Dec 13. Endless Traffic jams, loud music, fire crackers, jittery mares doing double, triple shifts is a common sight and braving all that chaos I decided to attend a Punjabi big fat wedding.

Punjabi weddings are a mixture of agony and ecstasy. A blend of flamboyance, extravaganza , fun and laughter along with great food and not to be missed “Aunty ji” and “Uncle Ji” all decked up as if they have just stepped out of a show window of some designer shop. Loud and lavish , that’s what a good Panju Shadi is.

Here everything happens on IST that is Indian stretchable time.

Pretty young things in sexy backless cholis and latest eye catching western outfits ready to charm the smartly dressed lads. The idea is to make the most and be merry till the time permits. Weddings are a great time for match making and for exchanging numbers. The latest trend is promising to add each other on the social networking sites like FB.

The aunties make a dash for the snack counter the moment they hit the venue and over the bowls of hot soups and chicken tikkas the conversation becomes something like this

Aunty 1 -” Hello ji ki hal chal, bade dino bad dikkhe tusi. Badi soni sari hai , kiththon litti “?

Aunty 2- ” Really ji ! Inhone di hamari wedding anniversary pe. Pure silk hai ji , order te banwayi si khas occassion vaste”.
tusi bhi bada trendy set paya hua hai. ”

Aunty1-” Amrika (America) to laye si Dolly de papa . You know hum wo to bahar foren tour pe jate rehte hain na ” Diamond hai pure .”

Aunty 3- ” Hello ji kaise ho, kab de rahe ho khushkabri, nu ( daughter in law) badi pyari hai ji aapki. Kab due hai baby?”

Aunty 2 -” O thank you ji, badi changi family hai ji. Ladki bhi soni hai, working hai par aajkal chutti par hai. Abhi to time hai chautha maheena hai”

Aunty 1-” achcha , lagta nahi , maintain kar rakhha hai. ”

The group diversifies the conversation to the bitching of their DIL’s and other things.

Just my bad luck that one of them spots me.

Me -” Namste aunty ji ”

Aunty 5 ” O tenu ki ho gaya , badi madi lag rahi hai, suna sas saura aai hai Amreeka to” (She gives a naughty knowing smile) .. to phir aak kal to khoob seva ka meva mil raha hoga .( she laughs at her own joke ) Apni sehat ka bhi dhyan rakhha kar kudiye , kinni kamzor ho gayi hai”

Me -” hanji .” I reply in a monosyllable , tryin to avoid the topic . She is not ready to give up .

“Aur bata bachche kaise hain . kya kar rahe hain aaj kal, bade din bad dekha tujhe . Hame to bhool hi gaye tum log”

Me-” Nahi ji aaisi baat nahi ” I try and locate my elder one who is totally pissed off at this uncalled for intrusion. He breaks up from a bunch of babes and comes to meet the Aunty, giving m that famous “I will kill ya for this mom ” look .

He touches feet and greets

” Oh My God kinna bada ho gaya ye, ye tera bada wala mundda hai na , inna sa siga jad main last dekhya si ” O ji how time flies na ” Kya kar rahe ho puttar ji “?

Adi-” Animation and visual effect ” He replies holding back his displeasure at all the cheek pulling and other baby stuff.

“Wo to theek hai par kar kya rahe ho, college wollege ?

” Ji graduation kar raha hun ”

” Sona haiga tera munda. oye girl friend hai na teri ?” She winked and laughed displaying her lipstick covered front teeth.

It was time to butt in. ” Oh he has a great fan following. each day brings a new surprise.”

It was a juicy topic for her to ponder and chew.

The younger one calls him on his mobile as a rescue mission and before the next volley of questions Adi excuses himself , leaving me in the company of highly decorated aunties with deep neck blouses that give a good look at the ample cleavages ans lips as red as the vintage wine.

I desperately look for someone to rescue me from this torture and spot an old buddy.

Between the question answer session I sms him and he arrives as my savior.

Amidst all the ho halla of the noisy lot I make my much needed exit and gulp the vodka he is carrying

That makes me feel human again. Uncomfortable in my heavy silk clothes and jewelery I curse my stars for getting caught at the aunty junction.

We catch up with old friends and for some time let the spirit of the Panjabi shadi take over. Drinks , khana , jokes, laughter, old pals and lot of dance masti follows.

We all settle down at far end of the venue away from the madding crowd, reliving the old memories while the dudes take full advantage of our absence and try to woo some “totas” .

I watch them having gala time dancing and chatting away with the ever ready girls who have themselves found a breather from their over anxious parents.

The daru and khana flows and the DJ does his best to cope up with the enthusiastic dancers.

The poor guy ,an old pal, called one of us to make a large drink for him. Tired of playing the same F***ing old song for the 10th time He decided to hand over the reins to his junior and join us.

As the night became more lively , I decided to pay a visit to the nervous bride surrounded by fussy relatives, friends and in laws.

” I need a joint and a large drink man, I feel like an item girl right now. can you arrange for a coke tadka mar ke ” she winked and whispered to me, giving fake smiles to the newly related Buas, massis, uncles, aunties and countless cousins, nieces and nephews .

I felt sorry for the girl.

Her mom , who was hovering like a satellite around her refused any such treat.

“Na beta abhi nahi, make up kharab hoga aur abhi sare guest hain na changa nahi lagega . thosi der bad la dena ”

I sighed and left her to tackle the situation herself.

The groom was merrily having a drink with some close pals and cousins etc. We updated him on his beloved plight and within moments some refreshment and hot coffee was served to her by pampering Mom in law.

Rare sight but he is a new age dulha bhai and MIL too got a chance to show off her new found love for the bahu.

Suddenly I saw Aunty 1 heading towards the gang trying to balance her large frame on the heal wali sandals. Feeling nauseated by the thought of another onslaught of hello ji ki hal and the rest of it, I made a dash to the food counter which was infested by hoggers who were piling food on their plates as if there was no tomorrow.

I overheard a fat and colorful aunty confiding to a young starved lady,

” You know aajkal main diet par hun only diet coke for me. No sugar no fat ”

We both stared at the plateful of delicacies and she, sensing our dilemma, laughed ” O ye .. aji shadi byah me na khaya to kab khaya ..kal gym jakar sab utaar lenge. aaj to bas mauj karo khao piyo aish karo ”

I smiled at the simple joys of life and moved on to get yet another drink.

The atmosphere was hot and spicy with gorgeous women, overflowing booze and food, dance and music and friends.

Carrying the shagan ka lifafa we headed towards the stage where the couple was seated. Light , camera, action. Cleck and we all gave big smiles hugging each other . The bride looked radiant even after braving a long night under the winter sky. I kissed her goodnight and collected my bachcha party which was huddled in a secluded area enjoying food with new found loves.

It was around three. We did not wait for the Vidayi . It was an overwhelming experience. One such wedding is enough to drain out the juices in you. I felt happy to be back in my car heading for home sweet home.

The Punjabi wedding hiatus was over. I was fully loaded with Smirnoff thanks to some great pals. Boys were happy to get some PYT s on their Mobiles and hubby desperate to reach home and hit the sack.

Ritu Lalit’s Blog post “Stop! Or my Mom will Shoot”

It is an honor to start my cross posting with Ritu Lalit of Weaving A Web

A super cool mom and mom-in-law 😀 with great sense of humor and excellent writing skills, her blog is worth a visit. She is not just a great writer, an avid blogger but also my mentor, friend and one of the finest woman I know.

Ritu writes about parenthood, humor, social issues, poetry ,fiction and much more.

Someday I want to have just 1% of what she has as far as strength of a woman goes. Wishing her the very best in life. Thank you Ritu for being their for me.

Here is one of the hilarious posts that I want to share with my readers.. Check it out 😀

Stop ! or my mom will shoot

She writes

Both the boys went yesterday to the Mall and brought me a gift … probably because they saw Singh is King without me, and then went ahead and saw Rock On without me, even though I whined, sulked and put them on a punishment diet which was totally vegetarian. I think a steady diet of beans, brinjals and cabbage brought them to their senses. So they got me a cd of the latest movies (yeah even though piracy is a dirty word, it has its plus points) and a copy of Stop! Or my Mom will Shoot, a delightful movie starring Sylvester Stallone and Estelle Getty … because the Mom reminds them of me. I guess I will forgive them and make them aloo meat – the sucker for flattery that I am.”

Read more by clicking the link of the main article.

enjoy 😀