This seems to be the longest blog post title I must have come up with. 🙂
It is a hot sunny day here in Delhi and over the cup of coffee , with an engrossing football match going on between Liverpool and Manchester United, I am trying to work. Don’t know why but I am in a reflective mood today.
A lot of inner chatter.
Questions that seek answers but hang in the air unexplained.
I had got mixed response when I wrote this post about male victims of domestic violence . Not everyone feels comfortable to talk about an issue which needs a lot of understanding and support.
I have yet to come across people who can boldly come out and raise their voices, share their experiences and discuss openly about this issue. That is more true of Indian men, here and abroad.
Something holds them back. Is it because the law is more sympathetic to women across the globe? Or , Is it that the image created by the society comes like a barbed wire between their hurt and justice.
Read on here In Silence I suffer, the hidden hurt
Although the story line and the names are changed, this is a true story of a friend. He suffers terrible mental and physical abuse at the hands of his wife… Both of them are educated… He is the sole bread earner and on top in his area of expertise… Yet once home, he gets brow beaten and even physically beaten up by his wife although stronger than her, he just accepts what she deals out without any attempt to defend himself. The severity of her abuse has increased over the years… He seems to accept this as his lot and does nothing to come out of this dead-end situation… What makes him accept this kind of treatment when he has so many options before him? A question I am unable to answer.
Over the time that I have known him I see a very fatigued, hurt, pained man searching for love and dignity he so much deserves and trying to make the best of what life has given him. It is very easy for us to comment and advise but to go through this hell every day and manage it all takes courage and strength.
Especially with Indian men rooted in family bonds, traditions, age-old dogmas and the rules and regulations forced on them by the society, it becomes a tough task to simply move away. Not many can muster u[p the courage to take on the so-called social stigma of “abused husband”, the jeers and taunts and the shame attached to it. Man is seen always as a opressor and never as a victim.
Sad but true.
I am glad the post was picked up by the judges of Avant Grande Bloggies Awards and reached the final voting.
Do vote for me Here
if you think the issue need attention.
Ssomehow all of this has come at a time when I am myself trying to figure out about relationships, love, marriage and has the institution of marriage has failed completely. Yes, It has I feel. I write about DV ( both men and women suffer from it) , and many forms of it and yet I am unable to take control of my situation. Does it make me more sensitive to those who stay in a relationship for one reason or another and can never break and cross that invisible chain that sets their boundary. Married now for 19 years i am still searching for the answer.
This an issue just like marital rape which always get pushed under the carpet. I hope these men who suffer in silence will come out and start afresh and find a life full of love, peace and dignity which they deserve.
May be it’s time to think WHY?
May be it’s time to look within.
Do leave your views and pass the link to friends if you find this worth sharing .