The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell…

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don’t go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don’t go back to sleep.
There is such a beautiful message in this 13th century poem of  Rumi. Sometimes it needs a special person to connect the dots and awaken you to realize the true essence of what you read. I have done affirmation and healing techniques like EFT etc since some time now. Doing daily affirmations has changed me from within. I am not saying that I don not go into low mood swings or do not get emotionally upset over things but I am able to get over them and move on quicker than before.  We all know that there is an energy source within but rarely do we pay attention to it or focus on it.
Rarely we communicate with our inner child, rarely we look within and look at. We find it hard to forgive, hard to appreciate others and harder to forgive and appreciate ourselves.
This post isn’t a discourse on positive thinking or healing and transformation nor am I pushing you to go do what I am doing but simple little things sometime are life changing. Reviewing life, changing thought patterns, writing a new story, letting go of anger, hurt, pain directed towards people has helped me get out of negative weak fields and given me courage and clarity to make conscious choices which are rid of guilt. I have been able to make that shift in my priorities and consciousness and feel the improvement.
Forgiveness has helped me raise my awareness towards myself and others. It wasn’t easy, still at some point of time I slip back but the moment I do I realize and make an effort to rise again. I have not been consistent in re-balancing my energies and it showed greatly on my physical and emotional health.  But, they say, when you ask for it , you are given. Something changed dramatically the moment I got connected with this thought.  Everything began to fall into places. The process has begun. What I desire is on its way and I very strongly believe universe will guild and help me get it.
Sometimes change happens gradually , over a period of time. Nothing is a waste, we have our rooting years and then we bloom but at other times it is sudden. It is essential too to release the blocked or interrupted energy and make it flow.  I have seen how effective it is in body healing.
To some it may seem silly but I have seen that when faced with something I have no answer to , I just surrender it to the universe and the solutions come on their own. May be not at that moment but they come when it is time t act on them. The problems dissolve naturally if we don not make a fuss about them.
I also feel that if you are passionate about somethings, you are propelled towards it. That great feeling of doing what you want to and doing it right becomes the motivational force. I am not quoting any of my teachers here, it is something I have experienced since sometime. Nothing can stand in front of a passionate desire to achieve something. People cooperate, co create , door begin to open, It works if you direct your energy towards what you want so much.
Someone asked me , if that is so Why did it took you so long to take a step in that direction ? I said, I did not want it so badly I guess.
Everything has its time and it happens in that time frame, you just can not hurry the process. It is something we never learn from nature, maybe because we never look.
When I heard Dr. Wayne Dyer’s  recording of  ‘Inspiration‘ among many others I realized how my desire to connect was manifested. How I was shown the path by a friend.  How I discovered one link after the other. There is nothing more blissful than friends who connect to show you the light. Sometimes you know them, sometimes  you don’t but they appear out of no where and change the scenario, they help you set the stage , to chart your path.  One is suddenly more aware and able to grab the opportunities , to see the signals and use them.
I am  immensely grateful to all those who helped me and are still helping me in my journey of life. Do listen to the recording of Dr. Dyer’s  Inspiration- your ultimate calling by clicking at the above link.
The fact that I wrote this and you are reading it confirms the belief that somewhere the universe wants us to connect and find our calling. Each of us is just a tool. For those who think this is all a gimmick and money-raising activity by motivational teachers or metaphysical healers , all I say is Never judge . You never know who opens the window for you to reach out to the real  “You”. It is all about Believing  and rising above the ego.
Rumi’s poem came as an answer to a question I was pondering on since last few months. Why do I always wake up between 3AM to 4 AM  most of the nights , sometimes half an hour ahead or before too ? We call it “Brahma Muhurat”  , a time best suited for meditation and connecting with self and the source energy from where it all began. Usually I would say some affirmations and try to go back to sleep in vain. So, I would toss and turn and log into internet or read. It just did not strike me as a calling to step out and meditate on oneself. To recognize this body clock and body rhythm and know what it’s telling.
The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell, do not go to bed .. 
 A time for cosmic connect. Time for inspirations to flow in. Its been three days since I have started to get myself out of bed  the moment my eyes open ( it’s always around the same time between 3 to 4 am) and stand in the balcony. I haven’t ventured out of the house yet.  There is something miraculous in spreading your arms to the early morning sky , breathing deep and relaxing the mind ,. body and soul in that tranquility of pre dawn.  It is a feeling to experience for it may bring a new meaning to each of us.  I never felt so at one with myself , so calm and serene within. There is this magical hue in the sky, a deep silence and immediately one closes the eyes and is inward bound.  I really felt closest to the source energy. Many thoughts kept floating in my head and with them came many solutions. I was able to let go of many of people and things , accumulated hurts and regrets from the past. The first morning I felt tears roll down my cheeks but I was not in pain. I knew it was a cleansing process.
The breeze does have secrets to tell.. only we have to be receptive to listen to them. I think this is what a fully awakened state of mind means. Each day is a different experience. It comes on its own. I have had such moments during nights, when I get this sudden drive to write something. It is a compelling force from within. The reason I keep a pencil and notebook next to my bed. These thoughts never return.
I have made this a routine now.  What ever time I wake up between 3 to 4:30 I just let go of myself and surrender myself to the universal energies. It really is helping me to have a much calmer and peaceful time with myself and others.

Swirling psychic storms and The Light

Well the title is not my invention ..It came drifting to me from Roberto’s dream weaving. I don’t think he will sue me for copyright violations. 🙂

This will be a series of three posts The Light, The Healer and The Muse. Each is connected to the other and is an important part of my life.

As a little girl my mom put a scare in me when she announced that she could read faces. It was a revelation which I chewed for days and day and still could not digest. Every step I took every move I made was wrapped in silent painful fear that mom will know it all by just a look at my dirty mug. It really freaked me out.

Later as I grew up and sort of mastered the art of camouflaging my deeds or misdeeds or rather learned to logically argue about why I did what I did, she confided that it was a gift she was not very happy and comfortable about and seldom used it. It troubled her gentle soul and she made very firm efforts to push back the psychic storms inside her.

Meanwhile a new storm was conceived inside a tiny brainless head and it swirled and swirled filling up the empty spaces it found( and there were many).

I never really tried to look deep into what was causing those hazy premonitions and why my intuitions were always correct ..well almost always. I guess I did not try to comprehend the meaning of spiritual awakening.

Few years back I got interested in psychic,stuff,reincarnation,meditation, alternate and energy healing, dark creatures ( why they are called dark forces etc beats me) again and read a lot about it. During that period I also read Osho which brought tremendous change in my thinking. I STILL READ ALMOST ALL THE MYSTIC POETS, teachings of Osho, Buddha and many others. Being an atheist has made me open to all aspects of spirituality and I guess that’s a good sign. Learn about everything and find your own path is my thinking.

I am not a follower but I realized that Buddha’s teachings drew me to some levels of concisenesses that I never knew existed. said about inner light and connecting with the universe around.

I began to bring about the change and in that my Godfather played a great role. He became my light and taught me lessons of life that totally cleansed me on mental, spiritual and physical levels. I was introduced to him by a mutual friend and soon I began to discover things and learn some basic facts of life that I had ignored or pushed aside purposely.
He taught me the thumb rules of staying focused. Many I did imbibe but for many others my inner still rebels.

It takes a higher consciousness and totally letting go to master that state of bliss. To be able to understand it and be on that path in itself is a right choice. If we can not justify our existence on this earth if have no right to live and to do that we got to rise above our emotions of all sorts. A hard thing to do but not impossible. Maybe someday I will be able to do that.

I knew I had a gift and a light to follow so when I saw visions or felt the presence of someone or something around me it did not drive me nuts like before.

I was never scared but now I was not curious either, I LEARNED TO BEFRIEND WHAT WAS AROUND ME. Taking it as a part of universe’s connection with me. I believe there are souls who drift through the universe seeking other’s who can connect with them on some level and that’s the way our heart strings get attached to unknown people across the globe. Sometimes we are portals to some helpless souls who need to be cared and loved. I feel blessed that the creator chose me as a giver and not as a receiver.

During last two years of dedicated efforts I also experienced moments of trance in which for a few minutes (max half an hour) I felt the emptiness, the timelessness. At first I got worried but then my Godfather explained that it is a state of “dhyan” which is different from meditation, where for sometime one merges completely with the unknown something far superior then anything we know.

Twice I experienced seeing a bright white light and went into total blankness for sometime and then suddenly came back. In that period I once just saw brightness and on second occasion saw light and open green serene hilltops where I was strolling alone it was something magical. Both the incidents happened during a wide awake state and were not a part of my day dreaming.

At other times I experienced pain in the right side of the abdomen and the reason explained was energy trapped inside. It is not easy to follow a path of spiritual enlightenment and the more I tried to run after it and sat for hours trying to get the vision back, it just did not happen.

“One should let it come to you” my Godfather said. “Do not pursue it or it will fade away.”

Now I rarely go into that state but do get sudden intuitions, about people close to me. Many a times I do distant healing and send positive energy to those who are very close to me. I have not learned Reiki or Pranik Healing but have received both from experts. It does help in clearing the energy blocks.

In my case it is just love and prayer I guess and a complete trust in the process of the universe. It does heal you and takes care of you if you do not interfere and let it take its course.

I have seen healing take place, have connected with loved ones who are far away just by mentally focusing on them. Many a times I myself fall sick while curing someone but then that’s a rare thing. love turns you blind at times 🙂

I have managed to overcome my fears about the unknown and the visions have lessoned. for example the black cobra with a marked raised hood that I felt staring at me from inside the dark cupboards and any dark place has vanished. it used to be so freaky that even if I would get down from the bed in the dead of the night I would stop sensing its presence there. I would stop pulling out stuff from the closet and pull my hand back feeling it was there lurking somewhere. It annoyed me when it did not show itself but I never felt scared.

The visions we usually see are our suppressed feelings , thoughts taking shapes most of the time. Analyzing them may lead to some answers but then if they are not bothering then I guess one should leave them alone and soon they will vanish. The idea is to befriend what’s unexplained and unknown and not be scared.

There have been dreams which reoccurred for years and then just evaporated.

Strange things happen when you have something unexplained swirling inside you and I feel excited and enjoy my being different.

Many a times I write in an hypnotized state. My fingers just tap dance on the keyboard and then I only see what I have produced after posting it. For that time from start to finish someone else does the writing for me. those pieces of writing come out from some inner depths where I still have to reach.

I am glad that I got the right light to guide me. To help me discover myself and connect with my inner as well as develop an unconditional complete trust in nature. I see it as a woman. A supreme creator and benevolent mother of all.

It doesn’t mean I give up on my interest in mythical and mystical creatures, the unexplained, and the psychic. They remain my area of interest and maybe a day will come when I will be able to connect with them too.