Silence and Words – Poemas Cortos


your silence
cold, razor-sharp
my words
a shredded tapestry

***

your silence 

moves in the spaces

between my words

adding meaning to them

***********

your silence 

an eternity 

between my two words

Yes or  NO

**********

your silence 

a cacophony of 

choking practicalities

my words 

silence of 

untamed fantasies 

*************

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On Expressing Gratitude And Regret


I believe

“Gratitude needs to be expressed. A person may knowingly or unknowingly enrich your life by his/her thoughts /actions. However insignificant or intangible they may seem to him/her if they bring even the slightest positiveness, strength, love or happiness to the receiver then they need to be appreciated. Also I believe that such reciprocation of warmth cements the human bond (Wont give it a name like love, friendship etc) . Gratitude should also be taken graciously and seen as the love and appreciation from the receiver to the giver.

I remember sharing this on Facebook and here are two main responses to my status.

 Shail  says,

I believe in expressing gratitude and also accepting the same from others gracefully. Some stupid movies and books have popularised the philosophy of, “No sorry and thank you between friends”. Never heard such bs. Excuse me! I beg to differ. I shall aplogize and say thank you when occasion demands and expect them to be accepted gracefully. Otherwise you are no friend of mine! Well, I expect the same from you. But of course you are free to do as you like. ;)”

Another very dear blogger friend Sangeeta  added something equally profound.

I feel when we deny gratitude we start nurturing a guilt and that makes our personality seriously skewed…. as if always doing something to cover up something , to prove something or to repay( the reasons of gratitude) with useless gifts ….while gratitude in our attitude would have made it a lot simpler and peaceful for ourselves.”

I may not “unfriend” someone for not accepting gratitude and apology the way we believe it should be accepted but Yes, it would hurt me a lot. I detest when people say “no sorry no thank you between friends”. Even a dog doesn’t resist the urge to express gratitude , it wags its tail when petted.

Some people diagree and say it is inappropriate and inconsiderate to expect everyone to follow the same verbal code. I don’t think so.

Gratitude is a constructive force that expands our hearts and creates a bond between the receiver and the giver. It is the same with apology. We do all kind of things including going into an awkward silence but “sorry” seems to be the hardest word to say.

Why are we so afraid to expose ourselves to others?

Why is it so difficult to show appreciation and remorse in simplest form of words?

I feel a simple “Thank you” or” Sorry” when genuinely expressed can bridge distances, mend broken relationships , dissolve anger, heal broken hearts and much more. I feel being unable to express gratitude and remorse is a serious character flaw.

 Harriet Beecher Stowe once said, the bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and from deeds left undone”.

I think it is a very poignant statement. Often it is too late when we realize where we went wrong with our silence at a particular time. We leave much unsaid. It is strange that members of a species renowned for their communicative gifts should leave unexpressed some of these deepest emotions.

A friend feels that sometimes a person may feel unworthy of the gratitude expressed to him/her so he/she should be the judge of the amount of worthiness.  One may feel that one hasn’t done enough to deserve such praise.

I disagree.

I feel that the receiver is the judge of that. Even the smallest of gesture is enough for a person to say ‘Thank you” because it helped her/his growth in some way.  I don’t mean that these two words should be used blindly for they will lose their worth but when occasion demands one must express them with all sincerity.

We all crave for these basic feelings.  Unfortunately those who are closest to heart are taken for granted and always denied gratitude and empathy and more more unfortunate than that is the fact that genuine offering of gratitude , appreciation or remorse is usually not taken with the same spirit.

I feel that it isn’t a very nice thing to do to oneself or the person giving a sincere compliment whatever may be the reason.  Most people think they could have done better or been better than the reality of the situation. This is what I call negative reinforcement.

Why are we so hard on ourselves?

If I get my head bitten off every time I try to say something nice to someone, how likely am I to make that attempt again?   It surely is a big downer and in any relationship these are the small pebbles on which we stumble and fall.

Do we lack this art of graceful receiving because the social ethics makes us believe that giving is important and not taking? I believe that receiving is something different from taking for it involves humility and grace.

I feel that gratitude as well as feeling of sincere apology flows out of you naturally and if it is just a cultivated thing, it usually doesn’t last very long and becomes insignificant.  Gratitude need not necessarily find expression in the form of eloquence; it could be just a, gesture, a smile, look, a touch, a teardrop, but when we are at a physical distance then words are all we have to express what we feel. I have personally experienced how much it has helped me open up from within and blossom and also how it cuts like a double edged sword when the warmth of the feeling is not reciprocated or taken matter of factly.

We take people for granted, we feel ‘entitled” and this feeling of entitlement blocks us from giving or receiving and when we aren’t receptive to gratitude whether   it receiving or giving then we may be lacking many other positive emotions.

In recent times we have stripped these two words “Thank You “and “Sorry’ of sincerity and in doing this we have forgotten the major role they play in our lives. We use them flippantly, throw around without care, and often reduce them to an easy way of getting off the hook and evading meaningful action. How many of you remember doing it at one point or another?

Many people seriously lack in gracefully accepting gratitude and apology just as much as they lack in offering them.  I believe that graciously accepting them shows that we value the other person, that there is a positive emotional state and that we keep our relationship above our ego.

So the question is why is it that we can’t take a compliment, gratitude with grace?

One of the reasons is that the recipient of gratitude reverts to a negative rebuttal to whatever nice thing is said and feels that they didn’t deserve the recognition (“Oh, I didn’t really do that much…” ‘No problem’ Ah, Don’t mention it ‘“it was nothing’ etc.  While saying these things come naturally to many, they don’t realize that they are pushing away not only the gift of gratitude but a basic form of positive energy.

It is the same with apology. The act of offering and accepting an apology is as profound and healing as that of expressing gratitude but because the offhand “sorry about that” keeps flying around, our ego prevents us from realizing its full potential.

I think the word loses its impact when we refrain from acknowledging our wrong doing (“Sorry for what I have done”) or when we throw in a self-serving conditionality (“I am sorry if you were hurt”).

Well, if the purpose of an apology is only to say, “While I don’t think I was wrong, I will apologies because you say so”, it is best not to offer one. When you say “I am sorry BUT… “ then , the message of gratitude or apology is instantly annulled and it  perfectly translates  as “forget what I just said, now here’s what I really mean.”

The worst we can do is to insult someone’s sensitivity or intelligence by such a statement. If you are grateful, be grateful. If you are sorry, be sorry.

An apology must involve acknowledging the offense adequately, expressing genuine remorse and a commitment to make changes.

“A stiff apology is a second insult,” said novelist and poet G K Chesterton.

An apology is never a compensation for the hurt caused but a way of healing.  Quick fix “Sorry” never really fixes the broken heart. Apology should sensitize us for not committing that mistake again. It should help in restoring harmony and order in the relationship and in life.

It is sad that most of us lack this beautiful gesture of gracefully receiving and expressing gratitude and apology. The inability to soften and open one’s heart in response to a genuine sentiment is really a shame and one of driving force behind many sour relationships. An opportunity lost for strengthening and deepening the bond of love between one heart to another, for reconciliation and restoration of relationship.

Although I strongly believe in constantly reminding oneself to be graciously grateful and apologize instantly when occasion demands, I also feel that expressing gratitude and apology without necessarily being grateful or remorseful is an exercise in futility.

So next time you say “Sorry” or “Thank you” be aware from within. Ask yourself what is blocking you to these emotions? Is it the stubborn pride or the guilt? It is an act of courage to apologize.

Friendships or any other relationship becomes stronger and deeper when a little grace and humility is shown.

Great Relationships are precious gifts. Be grateful.

Words – Silence : Short Poems


words
cookie crumble
winds of change
scattered them
and now
all I have is
a quiet ache
a solitary pain
and
a handful of emptiness

*

laid to rest
words
tied in neat bundles
darkness a ribbon

*

you stripped me off my word garment
unraveled it quietly
pulled a good seam i guess
took the braid of thread
and walked away
there wasn’t a single knot
a perfect weave of silence and words
but how would You know 

*

your silence – my words
longing to touch
twirl the unseen thread of distance
around your nimble fingers
bring them close
let them merge

on your lips or mine

*

Ever dealt with naked silence

it works best from a distance

somethings are better when under wraps

• billet-doux • – Assorted verses


♥♥

my innermost desires
sensuous syllables
in blushed hues of red
enveloped in predawn love
sealed with kisses
silly me hopes
they will reach you 

♥♥

and every moment
before a moment
you are there
so far away
and yet so close
and in your
this being and not being
my heart awaits its blossoming

♥♥

I crossed the bridge of stars

and found my dawn

your dusk

♥♥

billet-doux

like crushed roses

on white satin sheet

revealed

the morning after

you sure have a way with your mouth

♥♥

Thursday Photo Challenge : Hard


It’s been sometime since I did Thursday Photo Challenge . Somehow just did not have any great pictures or maybe I wasn’t getting inspired enough to take up the challenge but here I am going for it again.

“HARD”  ((Rock, Ice, Brick, Steel, Cement,…)  is the theme this time .

 

Deforestation, indiscreet mining and rock cutting  by circumventing the laws, camouflaged by legal flaws,  is causing havoc to the fragile Eco system of Himachal Pradesh. Reckless felling of trees for cement and power plants, for dams and other industrial activities has become an environmental hazard although they give additional revenue to the state.

The seasonal rivers aren’t the same what they used to be some years back. The water levels have decreased in many areas and rivers are on the brink of drying up.

Heavy deforestation in the vicinity of reservoir and cultivation of reservoir land by locals has led to silting causing landslides and flash floods.  A disaster mitigation plan functional at the lowest level is need of the hour to stop the natural disasters and catastrophes.

 

Why Common Cold is such a Fascinating Thing


Ogden Nash is  one of my favorite poets. Enjoy a hilarious poem by him on the most fascinating of all  maladies – The Common Cold.

http://judithpordon.tripod.com/poetry/ogden_nash_common_cold.html

Five days of intense research proved that Common Cold is the most remarkable of all maladies. Trapped in the viral web of mind-blowing rhinitis acuta catarrhalis or nasopharyngitis  or rinovirus I paved my way to freedom with some astounding discoveries of all times. One must utilize every single moment to learn something new.

I didn’t know that there are 200 different types of cold to catch and we’ve probably spent two years of our life sneezing and coughing by the time we reach 75. Amazing , isn’t it ? And the fact that 50,000 rhinoviruses lined up back to back to cover just one millimeter. Crap, just to think what was infesting my nose all these five days ..eeeeeeeeeeeee

Didn’t know that  a sneeze can travel at 90 miles per hour and can reach people within a 30 foot radius. 😀 That’s what I call speed . What a weapon! :p

As the virus began to invade my mind-body and soul I decided to record the daily events. The facts gathered over five days amused me 🙂

Common cold can dig its claws in your head and make its inner melt. Then Slowly it takes a grip on your entire system, senses and turns you into a pink nose tip zombie who can sneeze, cough, cry, blow the trumpet and laugh at the same time. It makes your temples throb and dries your throat but one needs to stay focused,stay strong  and not surrender. You got to kill the fk*ing dripping monster with potent potions made from alcohol, ginger ,tea leaves, lemon, peppercorn and other magical ingredients. No chemicals at all. This medicine industry can only spill disaster so keep those tiny tablets away.

Controlling and overpowering common cold is all about following the wicca tradition. It involves witchcraft and sorcery. Though one need not to ride a broom but it does involve steaming pots,  stirring cauldrons full of fragrant broth made of chicken bones and flesh, garlic and other herbs and spices. It is about maintaining an aura around you that clearly states ” Don’t come close” .

I discovered that many of these things are sleep inducing and take you instantly to a different plane. I call it “out-of-body” experience.

New data revealed its uncommon power to strangle the throat from within and to put a spell on almost all the senses. Eyes want to stay closed in their coffin and one wonders if it’s the finger tip which is hurting or the entire body where ever you touch..Common cold is averse to Rum with hot water or brandy with hot coffee 🙂 If that agrees with your system you may indulge in it. Else desi ghee or Sesame oil can be smelled after rubbing it on finger tips. Another remedy is “chuhara or khaarik boiled in milk till the volume of milk becomes two-third or half of the original volume. Drink it before going to bed hopefully you will notice relief in the morning. All these and many other tried and tested age-old concoctions will get the monster in your grip and command.

Never underestimate its power though. If it unleashes itself in full glory then your body will turn into a  burning  mass. It will slowly suck the energy and leave it limp and useless.  Your eyes will run rivers of agony and mind will go numb. Thankfully with the knowledge of all the knowledge handed down by devins-guerisseurs since ages , you wont reach that stage.

Common cold is a tough opponent and usually it is a five to six days long battle between its dark powers and the person gripped by it. Performance  of  physical rituals like inhalation of  aromatic eucalyptus oil rubbed on a piece of cloth of a drop in hot water etc certainly makes it retreat. The idea is not to suppress it but to make it vanish forever never to return. A relapse is worse than the original so be careful to push the right buttons.

The funny thing is that more than the person in grip  it affects those around. They suddenly find you repulsive and shun you, they look as if you were untouchable. They run away from even the sight of you and promptly set your personal belongings aside. Segregation is not a new thing for sorceresses and witches. So I was pushed in one room with  Boxes of Tissues which replaced the beautiful handkerchiefs and a plastic bag is given to put the soiled paper.  It is a bliss actually to have your own place with a Jug full of  boiling broth and books. One can endlessly gaze outside the window and admire the winter landscape with no one screaming like a mandrake.

This state of sublime bliss gives a boost to creative energy and imagination too. 😀

Common cold doesn’t like to be treated shabbily, it loves valiant opponents and at slightest provocation it takes firm grip on those who look at it with disapproval and contempt.   One needs to very tactfully deal with this eccentric to win the battle. I used all my charm and sorcery to dissolve it and make it retreat but the sucker is not ready to give up. It went and occupied the body of my mom. Poor woman is doing her best to get rid of it but you see the more you resist the more it takes roots. My advice is as usual not required. I am a silent spectator these days.

One can conquer with love is what I learned from this experience, fighting, resisting pays little. So you see it is very wrong to call Common Cold an ailment or Disease, it is in fact an eye opener or if you wish an opener of all the major sensory areas of our body, mind and soul.

It is your Sensei, your guiding light to the path of Nirvana.