10 day you challenge – Post 3 : Eight Fears


We are mostly afraid of the unknown. Most of the time it’s our insecurities about life and its challenges. It is our response to physical or emotional danger. Dad used to say,” Why do you fear the unknown? How does it help being anxious about something and ruining the present? It is like making the wolf larger than it is.” Sometimes these fears turn into phobias and become a mind killer as people live in constant anxiety.

I thought over it but still some things make me jittery. Usual mundane things maybe but I do get nervous about them. Here are a few fears that I have 9 am sure I will be able to overcome them)

1.  Fear of being disabled and physically dependent – This one of the biggest fear I have. I don’t fear death but being a cripple or terminally sick and dependent is something I won’t want ever. I want to die quickly and without much ado.

2. Fear of elevators and escalators – I used to be scared of elevators and escalators  and would take the stairs instead but now am comfortable with them. Well, sort of. :p Sometimes I do get that feeling that its going to crash or I will fall or stumble but most of the times am good with it. It’s a big tease with my boys. Embarrassing isn’t it ? 😛 Similarly am also death scared of Giant wheel ( Ferris wheel) especially the electric one. The speeding rides in the adventure park etc scare me more than anything else. I got stuck in a Ferris Wheel once during a local mela . The electricity went off and I along with a few others found myself up in the sky. ( well it seemed like that because I was around 10 years. I felt that was the end of my life and the thing will come crashing down but we were safely dropped on the ground in one piece. Phew ! ) Since then I avoid all joy rides etc. It could also be a fear of closed spaces.

3.  Fear of air travel– I guess most of my fear are based on the first one . I always feel I may get into some messy accident and then become dependent. Maybe that is the reason I preferred train or road travel than air travel. Even the sea travel never scared me though I am not at all a swimmer but Air travel used to make me sick.  I like to be on the ground where I can cope with an emergency. Well the argument is Air crash would kill me and that’s good but a road or train accident can leave me cripple but still being up there gave me a creepy feeling till now. I feel alright now but this fear has stayed with me all my life.

4. Fear of leaving the comfort zone – Another thing which is strangely playing with me is the fear of leaving my comfort zone. I have hardly lived on my own and am so used to being in comfortable situation that in spite of hardships I lack self-confidence and courage to move out and face the world on my own. At the back of this fear is the fear of sickness. It is founded on events of  last few years  for I was a very strong person and take off with my little boys to unknown places on my own. This has become a major drawback with me and I really need to get over it.

5. Fear of rats and mice – I am petrified of  house rats and mice. I have lived for a few months in a house infested with big dirty rats and it is more of an aversion for them than anything else. I was eight months pregnant at that time and lived in constant fear of a few of them jumping on me and chewing me off for a hearty meal.The mice are even worse . They breed in the most unexpected places and are such awful looking pests. Basically they suck.

6. Fear of Losing in relationships– Sometimes life puts us in such situations that one becomes unsure and insecure  about those around us. The fear of losing someone special is always there with me. Knowing that those who care and think I am important to them will always be there , there is a constant urge to affirm that feeling. I have seen loss of friends, family and though I copes with their moving on and realized we all have our time together and one should let go if the relationship is becoming stagnant I still feel the hurt of separation and loss.  I keep preaching that one is complete by oneself . why do we need others? But the truth is we do.

6. Crowded places – I hate crowded places. At one time I could move comfortably in fairs and use public transport but now a days crowds seem to engulf me. I feel giddy at such places. Here we have less control over things I guess. That’s the reason maybe I do not like to go to planetarium,  cinema halls etc.  though I can watch a play/ concert  in an auditorium.

7.  Fear of going blind  – This has been a constant fear with me since childhood. When I was small one day dad made me tie a blindfold and spend at least two hours like that. The idea was to spend the day but after some time he gave a concession. Those two prime time hours  were the most difficult in my life. I realized what darkness means. I woke up blindfolded and wept throughout as I stumbled and groped for things. Being able to see is the greatest gift of all and I pledged to donate my eyes long back. Not to wake up to the morning sunshine , not to see colors, not to be able to be part of the brilliance of the universe around is death to me.

8. Fear of  losing my memory  – I know it is just a funny feeling. We were talking about how each one of us has Gajni syndrome and we keep forgetting things, names, phone numbers etc. Sometimes it is just absent-mindedness. The fear arose when I went to the refrigerator and stood there blankly staring at it and didn’t know why I had opened it  and on the same day I missed the turn and wasn’t able to place where I was.For five minutes I looked around remembering why the house looked so unfamiliar. Then I saw the domestic help and realized I had come out of the opposite elevator and that why our flat was on the other side. This sent a chill down my spine. Am I losing it? 😛 well not yet. I was just too stressed I guess. All iz well. 😀

It all stated Here 

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One thought on “10 day you challenge – Post 3 : Eight Fears

  1. A very interesting idea for a post.
    I think most of the fears you mentioned are there somewhere in our subconscious… its only when we give undue importance to one that things get grim. I wish you good luck with fear management. 😀

    Like

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