Thursday Photo Challenge : Spring


“SPRING” (New Life, Green, Melting Snow, Pleasant Weather,…) is the topic for this Thursday’s photo challenge  I love the vibrant blooms on the trees and riot of colors in every garden and roundabout, the soft shades of green that spring brings with it.

The whole earth is like a flower girl, so full of life and so beautiful.

Beautiful Hibiscus flowers in three shades . The last one a different variety used for Ganesh Puja. The flower is considered pious for various reasons.

Hibiscus is also known as china rose , jasvand, gudhal etc.

It is has medicinal properties too.

I simply love the delicate bloom and the soothing colors.

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Thursday Photo Challenge : Complex


The photo theme for Thursday is “COMPLEX” (Complicated, Tangled, Intricate, Mess,…)

I love Motorcycles and there is nothing that beats this mean machine called Harley Davidson . One of the finest and my favorite. Such beautiful intricate, complex machinery.   To feel the bike is in itself a turn on.   To ride it is orgasmic

. Awesome combination of power, performance, and infinite cool in all of its forms.

Intricate details personalized for those who love to load up and head out. I love the way toughness and style are blended so delicately in their bikes.

In there 107 years history HD has made billions of dreams find voice. I especially love the V-Rod among all its Bikes .

It is simple engineering made sexy.  The hum of these beauties is enough to make any heart beat faster.

I thought of doing something different this time and shifted from my usual nature photographs just because I felt HD it a great blend of complex intricate craftsmanship.

Its my dream machine.Gotta find someone who owns it :p . 😀

At The Edge Of River Yamuna : A love Poem


Do read this too     A love song for my Krishna 

from your dusk to my dawn

amidst the transmitting hues

on the horizon

where  darkness meets the light

I escape and lose myself in  you


in the shadows of passion

 like the  clouds

that dissolve in sunlight

draped

 in your love

I melt and merge


my soul absorbs your fragrance

as your lips 

drink the nectar of my youth


while my body, aflame with 

the touch of  your unseen hands

explodes like million young stars 

in the splendorous sky


moist as the early morning grass

my flesh quivers

at the trembling liquid movement 

of your eyes


aroused by your playful seduction 

my limbs burn 

with the fierce waves of heat 

that rise within me


Wrapped in the warmth of

 your soft  sinuous  limbs

 I lie under the sun crushed sky

at the edge of river Yamuna


Sedated by the music of your flute

that floats through the forest groves

 my already unquiet senses ignite 


While the universe revels in our

 whispers of intimacy,

shouts of ecstasy,

 silence of consummation


Delirious 



 



 







A Dream Comes Haunting Again


Normally I do not sleep post lunch but for some days nights have been stuffy and restless. Unable to sleep I toss and turn in the bed, dozing on and off into slumber and wake up with a start.

Something has been tugging me at heart since long and I am trying to find solutions. Since yesterday morning I had a vague feeling, a mixed emotion of fear and longing but I kept it to myself wondering if it was just another play of the devious mind or something deeper than that, a heartache.

Today was a quiet day and tired from the pre lunch activities and lack of sleep my body began to demand rest. Unusual, because this rarely happens and as my eyes began to feel heavy I excused myself to the bedroom.

Someone noticed that I was quieter than before and asked if I was missing my boys. I think I did reply but it’s not very clear now.

Sleep took over the moment I hit the pillow. An insatiable thirst woke me from a dream. An old dream recurred after a very long time and got overlapped with a new one.  The havelies have become an integral part of my dreams and surely have some significance and some relation with my past life.

I often wonder why I see and remember the details of even the minutest part of dream.  The colors, the clothes, the streets, everything is absolutely clear.

These are the dreams that stay with me.

Its evening when I enter the fort or haveli , the door is heavily carved and the corridor is  mostly dark except for the light filtering in from the jharokhas above and the mashals  ( torches) which threw dancing shadows on the cold stone walls.

I am searching for someone but don’t see him anywhere.

A heavily dressed woman is sitting on a carved bench of stone made along the left side of the corridor. There are two young women with her who get up and move aside the moment they see me. I kneel and pay my respect to her but she is anxious to find me there. A sort of resentment is visible on her face.  I hear whispers from the young attendants. She gives a cold stare and gestures me to follow her. WE move ten paces and go up an iron staircase. I follow her without question and on top of the stairs there is another beautifully carved heavy door .She opens it for me and I walk in without question. The door is shut behind me and then I realize that it is a cell. I notice how dark and cold everything is. I have been here before. I have spent an entire lifetime here, secluded from the world.

This dream was constant many years back and came as a flash and got overlapped with a new one. Even in my subconscious mind I recognized it . Something took control and transported me to another time.

I am in the fort/ haveli garden and there is some zamindar (landlord) or stately prince, someone powerful and authoritative. He orders his men to tie my hands and take me away.

The men have covered faces and only eyes are visible. One of them holds me firmly and almost drags me inside the same corridor but from the door on the other side. It’s much more lighted. His grip is strong and hurts. (I felt the pain on my right arm even after waking up) .

The other two subordinates are told to stay behind. I recognize the touch .It is familiar but I can’t place it.  We pass two small water bodies where two women are being given some ceremonial bath. Large mature women, nude and sort of sedated are being bathed by men in a pool of water laced with white flowers. Terrified of my fate I cringe and struggle to escape but am firmly and closely held by my escort. I can feel his breathing and body heat. That too is familiar. I have experienced it before.

Something tells me he won’t harm as I am hurriedly led from the scene.  We reach the same staircase and the shadows increase. He reveals himself and before I can express myself holds me close and rushes upstairs. In the process my anklets fall.

It is surprising how I can see the gold broad old-fashioned anklets shimmering in the light of the torches.

I struggle to get away and pick them before anyone comes. They will reveal my identity. I see a young maid and tell her to pass them to me but she is too aghast and petrified to pick them.  He keeps insisting on moving away. His arms wrapped strongly around me. I long for the anklets for some reason.  My life depends on not being recognized.

We hear the sounds from a distance. Fear grips me.

I opened my eyes slowly and scanned the room unable to place where I am. The dream left me listless and sad.

Last few days have been crazy enough to run me down but the beautiful moon in the sky today lifted my heart. Sometimes a voice, few words, a feeling of warmth floods the heart and makes up for all that is lost.

The dream needs to be interpreted along with the earlier ones. I am putting it in Dream Diary category.  Hope the beautiful night brings solace and calms my yearning .

Reminiscence 2


Sleep eluded me as I tried to struggle with a bad cold and cough. In the middle of the night the cool breeze relaxed my restless heart and tired body. I tried to sit up and work on the lappie but somehow did not have the strength. The drumbeat in the cell indicated a text message. There are times when the heart is torn between longing and loss. It’s an emotion which can’t be really described.  Tears know not for what reason they flow. My vision blurred I slid out of bed and went to the terrace. Apart from a constant hum of the refrigerator the entire house was bathed in silent glow of the night-light. I still believe that heartstrings are tuned irrespective of physical distances and unseen heard melodies are the ones that make life worth what it is.

Somehow this song came flooding to my mind.

Something old dies to give birth to something new. However we may try to become a robot in the mechanical lifestyle we lead there are spaces in between that need to be filled. It is a gift one must accept with gratitude if we find just the right person to merge beautifully in those spaces.

I feel there is time and place for everything and though the heart may long for more than what is  it is best to let the relationship grow at its own pace. You can’t hurry a flower to bloom.

I took solace in his being and not being. The still night helped the unruly heart to calm a bit.

The stuffy summer air made me long for a chilled glass of water. Not a single star was visible. I dragged myself to the bed and lay down. The heart was still heavy and the brain was in blender over some pressing issues.

I must have dozed off slightly for an hour or so. A feeling of breathlessness woke me from a dream.

Stranger things have happened in my dreams but this was more of a vision than just a dream.

Dream 1

A long room with white walls, something like a waiting room filled the canvas of my mind. I am surrounded by what I call my ‘legal family’ I say this for the lack of a better word. Something isn’t right and I am thrown out on the street wrapped just in a white cloth, maybe a saree. My right foot hurts (it actually did) and there are scratched on the arms. A boy with a kettle full of hot tea and some glasses tries to help and asks for the cloth claiming it to be his. I plead him to let it be with me as it is the only thing I have to cover my body.

He tells me to run away before it is late. I drag myself as quickly as possible through dark lanes and reach a railway track. Unable to see clearly I fall and a part of the cloth gets stuck somewhere. I wake up with the hum of an approaching train.

The dream left me disturbed and in the morning we came to know  about a death of someone in the family and a preponed visit to Lonavala.

Any such event is combined with weather change. The clouds filled the sky. Though the breeze became cooler the atmosphere remained stuffy.

The second dream came the night after. Maybe it was just a fragment from the past.

Dream 2

I woke with an intense pain in the left abdomen just below the ribs. The push of the moist hard muzzle was felt very strongly. It was a big black dog. Maybe a Great Dane or a hound and it had a distinct smell.  I wasn’t scared of the beast but it hurt as it kept pushing me.

I pleaded to the young teenage boy to take the dog away but even after various attempts to pull it away the dog did not budge.

I am still finding the connection between these dreams and their meanings. Meanwhile I am trying to explore the city and hills nearby.

The old Mumbai- Pune highway wasn’t such smooth drive as it is now.  As the car zipped passed the city and the fields, the gorgeous sun slowly melted and began to flow in the sky.

I have happy memories of taking this road as a girl. The one I remember most is with my uncle on a scooter. It was fun to drive through the villages, with the mountains overlooking the green vast expanses of land.  Life was just a dream then. The drizzle brought back the memories.

It also brought an ache. Memories of love and of special places that are etched in the heart forever. Beautiful seasonal river flowing through lush green valley surrounded by mountain ranges, favorite spots under the trees,  a food stall which now doesn’t exist, the aroma of hot tea . The songs and much more that is now lost in time.

Reminiscence 1


Footfalls echo in the memory
Down the passage which we did not take
Towards the door we never opened
~T.S. Eliot

Summer has laid the hills bare. Stripped of their greenery they stand exposed to heat and dust. My eyes are beginning  to revolt against the glare but I dont want to miss even a single spot that was once a treasured part of  me and still is. So much has changed over the years and yet it all seems so familiar. Mentally I remove the jarring high rise buildings and replace them with  huge green blossoming trees and vast expanses of uncultivated land where the monsoon would spread a soft carpet of verdant green , where wild flowers would dance in the rain  and little streams would flow oblivious to the zipping traffic on the highway.


“Nothing is so awesomely unfamiliar as the familiar that discloses itself at the end of a journey.”~Cynthia Ozick

The city makes me yearn for the past and I wonder if  it is ever possible to taste  moment from the past again? Does it ever taste same? The landscape has changed tremendously and the only things which have remained constant are some old trees and houses. Each fighting for its survival pressed between the commercially advancing city. Same seems to be the case with the elders. I went around certain part of Pune city after 20 years and apart from the old crumbling house which at one time seemed out of a picture book everything else seemed so unfamiliar. It brought back surge of memories but I could not associate it now with the present state of the place , its unkempt garden, the crumbling stairs , peeling paint and the murky smell that filled the dark rooms.

It shocked me how people had aged in such short period. Well, not so short actually but my mental image surely was different. The kittens played around as usual unrestricted. I felt a certain strangeness in the atmosphere. Suffocating. The garden still had the beautiful flowering trees. Some had the rare flowers hanging like Chinese lanterns but in a hurry to escape the unease it slipped my mind to take pictures. It didn’t feel the same at all.  I wondered how anyone stayed there. It was disturbing to say the least.

Much is to be seen and time is running out. I still have to visit some special places. Places associated with Personal memories .

Talegao came as a refreshing break between two places which hold me captive. It’s all in the mind I guess. However I may want to escape something minute calls from the past and takes me back in time. A picture, a face, an expression, some song or just the current that flows between the family members gathered together after ages. Children grandchildren, parents, grandparents … it was overwhelming and then I got filled with the loss of those who were so much a part of me as a girl.

Somehow I felt out-of-place among those present. Elders who made a group and chatted away ceaselessly about their times and youngsters who played and laughed oblivious to the nostalgia. I had lost my companions, my playmates, cousins who were my age and closer to me than anyone else. the void is hard to fill. Very hard.

And still, I felt a different rush of emotions , a different longing , a desire for something unexplained. Under the starlit sky amidst laughter, liquor, food and music my mind drifted aimlessly to places unknown to  me. The giddy heart becoming sorrowfully sad while the mixed emotions lingered on.

In  silence of the night I felt the transition from one love to another on different plane, space and time.

The protagonist of  Fireflies and stardust waited patiently to be set free. Reminiscent she roamed the paths with me. The loss hung heavy in the air. The landscape looked as parched as the heart.

The time was too short to let the girl explore the secret places and spend quiet moments under the Kadamb trees. A longer stay was needed for catharsis.

Filled with the aromas of delicacies from the kitchen and the fragrance of love that the summer breeze carried I returned with a promise to be back.

It is strange how we get restricted because of our age. A thought I can not explain. I have overgrown the laps but the warmth and love is still there. Still there are times I want to become that little girl again and my heart aches for that hug and long walks holding the firm hand of someone I felt so secure with. We become conscious of our words, our actions. The transition from a favourite baby girl to a young woman , a mother of two, is painful at least to me.

The room is dark and the house silent . I am sitting near the window overlooking the city. The night sky is clear and yet I can’t see a star. The night is more alive and richly colored than the day.

I try to empty my mind of thoughts. I have avoided to go within and look for answers. It is something I loved to do but there is an emptiness deep inside that isn’t letting me go.

Too much is at stake at present. It is difficult to maintain balance when one is pulled from all directions.

I am just trying to fill the empty spaces and empty those spaces that are filled with little things gathered over the time.