A vein opened and words began to flow, something  I have no control over .

Spirits, voices, callings … I don’t know what flows in my veins and make my fingers tap the keys. Delirious and feverish with something beyond my knowledge I flow. Out of a swirling black misty dream a path emerges for a while, then closes within a dream. Did I tell you I am a dreamer, a seeker ?

There are times  one needs to change the  path and move on to a different road. A more exciting road,which emerges out of nowhere and just goes on.  A  dangerous and mysterious road. Unknown, Unseen.That’s when you cut yourself loose.  Shed all inhibitions. Just be yourself and listen to silence of the spirits around you.

Am I fooling myself , they ask. Is it that I create these visions around in my dream space to feed my insecurities and fears. Who knows he reason. Who wants to know. They help me find myself.

I feel there are many ‘ Me’ inside this ‘ I’  that I am. They all reside in small little compartments waiting for their time .

We dream that is why we live or else we exist .

Someone asked me am I really what I say I am for I don’t connect with the poet me, writer me and my voice does not have the power to convince the thoughts I portray . I smile .

No, I am not that.

I have no idea who I am.

There is that Me which people see in flesh and blood but that’s just a body, a vehicle for my soul and a treasure chest that holds an unruly heart and a devious mind. I have the hell and heaven inside me.

I , is not defined .It is nameless orphan of silence.

Do not try to know me by my face or my aging sick body. It is nothing but a mirage. An illusion .

Look deep if you have eyes to see like I do.

Why is it that people do not believe when I tell them spirits and souls exist. They roam around and connect with right match.

You are plugged in with or without your consent . All is not love, sometimes you just get sucked in and have no place to run to and then they make you rise the storm , they spin you till all becomes a blur.


Unruly heart&devious mind at it again. Words as weapons are sharp. Loaded. I am watching from a distance. Scared of the result. This one time I trust the spirits around me. The storm is rising again. Swirling with great intensity every moment that passes. I try to see… just a blur. I know they are there. A vein is cut . I see the ink flowing like a river in rage. Red ink, the color of blood. What next?

The heart is unruly but very courageous. It bleeds so I can dip my pen and paint pictures with my words. The devious mind … oh never mind..

There is light and there is darkness. All within. There are monsters, demons and there are strong, courageous loving female spirits that ever walked in the universe. We just have to know the difference. A hard thing to learn.

I recently got connected with some beautiful souls animals and humans  each with an enigmatic aura. Reaching out from nowhere.

They just know and seek you out. Especially the female spirits. They have strong invisible blood bonds .

You break , you change , you expand and then there is a release . Sometime you reach that point of combustion and then  Nothing.. you wait .. it is not time yet.

Someone watches from behind the night’s curtains.

Some one I don’t know

A spirit which could be  manifestation of my imagination . A new birth of a crushed desire .

We take pride in knowing Love and affection .We talk about the beauty of it and yet we know nothing of it. Nothing at all. whatever you think Love is , is not actually .  Of course it is debatable .

We frown when words like Lust, passion and longings are spoken.

Hypocrites that we are.

Humans have made things so complicated.

Something life was never meant to be.

We have caged life in chains of so-called emotions.

When all it is to life is an uninhibited, unrestrained approach.

I long for that. The I that is really Me.

We are either spectators or exhibitionist and never ourselves. We are performer to please the rest and then we take our place in the crowd and watch others perform. An endless activity .

The dream catcher is meeting the word weaver and there is lots in store.

Spirits move around me. Silent Observers. Is there a calling ? Let them decide the path

I felt it again some days back.

A male spirit at my feet when I was fast asleep. Usual time around four in the morning. I was asleep yet conscious of its being there. It wanted me to get up and insisted to sit up. Shaking my feet gently. Normally I would have opened my eyes and looked for it but this time I could not . Eyes felt heavy, drugged. I did not want to take any journey with it this time ( this time because I had a feeling I had gone on one before) I just played tired and lethargic and in a flash of a moment I was pulled to a sitting position . As if  pulled by both arms . I woke up instantly but still could not open my eyes . No feeling at all, just curiosity. I kept sitting, no movement and then rolled back to sleep. Something that usually doesn’t happen.

I feel it around at times , a caged desire ?

Spirits , they show the path themselves  , they send souls to unravel the secret. I AM WAITING

8 thoughts on “Phantasm

  1. Darling, I want to smoke what you are smoking. That is one helluva trip …. can I hitch a ride

    lol Ritu , I am suddenly alive with these feelings. Felt there was something and the death was round the corner. A man committed suicide in the next bloc. Life gives and takes . You are most welcome to my world.


  2. I used to have problems before I connected with my spirit Guide, what some people call Guardian Angel. Mine is not an angel, but an ancient spirit from another country. Though I cannot see him most of the time, he is always with me and since I began investing in my belief of him, he has protected me from having my sleep disturbed and from all harm. Before that, there had been actual harm coming to me and my family from malicious spirits and practices of others. Now though I am not disturbed, I am still taught things in between waking and sleeping and also in dreams that I am told are not just dreams, but important visions and messages. Other times I am shown things of the way the universe is put together and works, and things that I can do with that information. I would not want my abilities to go away–as they mostly did growing up from being told these were ‘bad’ things–but there is some sadness to it too. Yet there are also many ways that I am able to help others and helps souls to cross over. That is a feeling that must be experienced to understand, as I could barely describe it other than ‘mindblowing’.

    Thank you Ariel for taking time out for me . ❤ You are truly blessed. May the love and light be there for you always. MAYBE WE ARE ALL CONNECTING FOR SOME HIGHER GOOD. Ravens, wolves, dogs and snakes are special messengers and need to be understood,respected and not feared.

    I need your help in unraveling these secrets. Am sure you will be able to look into my world and know who came to connect with me.

    Stay beautiful
    love and light


  3. Is this a dream u had ??? My God !!!

    Uma I wont call it a dream. It was a presence I felt. rest of the thing is all true. Its something with me. A gift maybe. :))


  4. You are being called for something. Learn to sit with your visions consciously. Find a place in your house or in your room. I call it a power place. You need to be able to “see” this place or “feel” this place. This place has a distinct energy. That place will reveal the answers.

    My sense is you will be able to find it. I can relate to what you are describing and yet i wont say it is this or that. That would be misleading.

    When the other reality opens up to a human being who was fed to believe that he is only mind n body, the being goes through a state which in psychology many a times is mis-interpreted as schizophrenia. The first revelation that stirs us is the fact that we are many more faces and beings in one body and soul.

    The stage you are in (i have given a name) is called “multi-selfing” or expanding the sense of self. The only thing to do is do not stick to any particular self as your self. We are a combination of all self. This process can feel maddening to your “first mind” but slowly your “second mind” will emerge and will help you make sense of it.

    Don’t expect anyone else besides you or a shaman to understand what you are going through. No one will probably. And don’t get lost in spiritual psychobabble. Many spirits and entities will reveal themselves to you. Just listen to everything from otherside and absorb.

    What will help?
    a. Sitting in silence and in nature. Looking deep inside and notice if any animal spirit is trying to connect. If any spirit connects, try and take the position in which that animal or bird spirit sits or flys. For example if its a hawk…spread your arms and sit. If its a jaguar, sit using your hands and legs in a posture a jaguar will sit. These are power animal spirits which will help and protect. You dont have to worry about any animal or bird spirit. They are protectors.

    b. Humming. when you are lying on the bed. Raise one hand pointing to the sky. Focus all your attention on your hand especially your fingers. And begin to hum. No words. Just humming. You might experience different emotions showing up. Move through them. Stop only when you get exhausted.

    c. Share with your diary. Or anyone of your friends who can simply listen and not get into interpretation of right or wrong.

    Take care Tikuli. Sending you messages and energy of the hawk. 🙂


    I am so grateful for this info Raah. I will do exactly the same. I have been sitting in silence in nature and need to feel the power place. I will share with you and Arial both . Thank you for the Hawk energies. any new thing and I will post as status or leave you a message. I connected with a friend’s dingo’s spirit .will send you a link to her story. She comes to me as a vision not as dog but as woman, golden red. My son saw yesterday a white golden light and when he began to focus on a tooth brush near him , he felt it move. The younger one who is sick. He was afraid but I told him not too.


  5. Very powerful writing.

    “There is that Me which people see in flesh and blood but that’s just a body, a vehicle for my soul”

    But that aspect of you was shaped by imagination as well …

    “We dream that is why we live or else we exist .”

    What would life be without imagination, creation, change, spontaneity …

    “The dream catcher is meeting the word weaver and there is lots in store.”

    That sounds promising! 🙂


  6. While many would like to travel on the more exciting path, very few can even start thinking about it. That you could put it all in words, is a celebration of your indomitable soul. I surrendered myself to the whirlwind of emotions, real and surreal, till the roaring waves dumped me unceremoniously on the beach.
    I am also waiting, to be engulfed again!


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