Alright , I confess.
I tried to stay away , to rein the creative streak in me and apply myself to something else but the inner music that words make lured me back to my blog.
I would have gone insane if I had not written to empty my mind. This is an itch that can only be cured by the music your fingers make on the keyboard. ( it used to be the scratch of pen on paper … how times have changed)
I resisted the pull for a long time but ultimately had to give in. The questioning stare of the words hovering all around me was unbearable.
As James Michener says, “I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions.”
My heart was overflowing with drafts and I had to write them down somewhere.
Facebook is a great place to share notes , have debates but there is something amiss ..something that only this place can offer.
I shared some thoughts on FB and would love to share on my blog too.
From the Daemonic depths of Mind
It dug holes in my brain and planted itself. Its roots reaching deep and spreading in my nervous system. If I try to pull it out it shrieks like Mandrake torn out of earth. It can’t stand the unruly heart and its longing. Makes me feel like a vision seen in Opium sleep.It chides as loud as thunder when the clouds in autumn crack. Got to tame it.
I hear its whispers in hollowed shadows, I hear its murmurs as it flows beneath the maze of streets of my mind like some drunk colored liquid. Filling all empty spaces.
Slowly I have begun to understand its moves and my heart has softens for this pathetic creature.It only needed a vessel to grow and expand. It wanted to share the space with the dream world of creativity. It wanted to break the shackles of robotic programing. It was scared , lonesome and hungry for love. I decided to give it some space and it began to flourish at an amazing speed.
The shirking reduced considerably.
And then one day it crossed the line, trespassed into the world of inflaming passion and began to swirl and swirl untill it became a blur.
I feared that it may destroy itself and sucked it out of a dark dungeon.
I feel like a junkie addicted to it. I explore its depths and heights and I marvel at the intricate crisscross patterns that it creates.
And yet there is something very potent that rides above it . My dreams. They hate intruders.
They have a mean streak. If needed they will swallow the mind.
This is the dream I had some days back.
Two robed men, faces half painted in red and black, holding Katanas or something similar, a path leading into darkness, night, am being chased. I see flashes from the swords but never them, they are just two apparitions, I run for life, they chase but never get close enough. A dream I have had since sometime. Gets sinister every time. Is there a calling again ? Where is this path going? Dreams freak me out
A week back I felt a presence in my bedroom. It must have been early morn because the alarm shrieked like a tortured soul in an hour or so.
I felt a presence , a male. it stood near my feet urging me to get up. I wanted to open my eyes but they felt heavy. Spirits don’t scare me. I struggled to open my eyes and suddenly with a jerk I was pulled to sitting position as if someone pulled me by my arms. My arms were inside the quilt. I felt the heaviness of strong hands. They were cold hands.
Normally I wake up and look around trying to understand my surroundings but this time I was dazed and sliding down slipped back into slumber.
I wonder how I remember this dream. It doesn’t bother me though. Makes me curious.
What is this thing that haunts me?
Does it want to take me someplace ?
It makes me comfortably restless. What does this mean?
I take refuge in writing for all it is worth. My fingers feverishly tap dance on the keyboard. Possessed. Words neatly pop up on the screen neatly arranging themselves in sentences. I do nothing than watch.
I love this strangeness, feel blessed. If you have even a spark of it you will understand. Do not interpret it conventionally , it won’t be right.
It is weird stuff.
Have you been inside the mind of a lunatic? You must. It will freak you out with its brutal understanding of existence.
It will suck you in and spin you like a dancing dervish till you are dazed.
The creepy symbols , the lurking spirits, the storms inside the brain , the freaky dreams and portals that urge you to step on them all are indicative of something.
It is a jigsaw puzzle where all pieces need to be put into correct slot to get the complete picture and the pieces are scattered in various brains all over. They sometimes make contact .
And when they do something neat arises. Am I getting ready for such a contact ?
I do not know what prompts me to put this song link here but it really makes you comfortably numb Do listen