Recapturing the joy : A Mother’s Day Post


Mom and Me

I am not exactly a ” One day celebration” person, for me each living moment is filled with love and gratitude for those who are precious to me but then I realized that under the pressures of daily life, our own baggage of worries, emotions, work we tend to forget to appreciate those who love us unconditionally. Mother’s Day became special to me since then.

I have written a lot about my mother who is now 79, a graceful woman, full of life, courage and inner strength, surrounded by her teenage grandchildren. [ Links ]

Amma gave me my identity, roots and the wings to fly. I outgrew her lap but never her love.

I wondered How SHE felt being a mother and that triggered off this special post on Mother’s Day.

” Amma, How did you feel being a mother?” , I asked.

She was amused. She had never actually thought about it and could not bring herself to put a life time of emotions, challenges and rewards into just a few words. A first person account required looking within honestly and it sure was a difficult task as none of us wanted a mushy post.

In few lines she let me in into the depths of her heart. It is the best gift a mother can give to her daughter.
Mom said,

It is interesting and a little disturbing to look back to one’s youth and the first flush of motherhood. On hindsight, a number of feelings and actions, responses and reactions seem sentimental, immature, thoughtless – or at least not well thought out – and also, to one’s surprise and embarrassment, neurotic!

That first wonderful, lump-in-the-throat, knot-in-the-stomach sensation when looking at and touching the smooth glowing cheek or the thin long delicate fingers is incomparable. Those hesitant first steps, the lisping or jumbled use of words brought out immeasurable joy and pride in the baby’s achievements.

At each little mastery of an action or each small bruise or hurt, the child would run into one’s arms or cry out ‘Mamma’. One laughed and wept along with it and was totally engrossed and involved in the child’s mischief, pranks and all the pains of growing up.

As a mother one cared and shared, and thought that this baby, now a toddler, then a pert little girl, is also learning to share and care. But the girl had an agenda of her own. Suddenly one saw that the role of a mother as imagined or perhaps, vaguely understood could be questioned.

Please! Can I not live my own life? Do I have to answer for each little thing I do? I am disgusted with this refrain “it is for your own good”. I know what it means and I can take care of myself – thank you!

There is much heartbreaking pain and avoidable conflict. An uneasy kind of friendship develops as the teens are about to end, and one hopes that some understanding and maturity comes along to make life a little less rough – not for the daughter or son alone but also for the mother too!

It is when watching the grandchildren that at last one realizes many things. Seeing one’s grown up child as a mother react and deal with her own children fetches one short. Was this the way I behaved, one thinks, seeing an instant thoughtless reaction of the mother to one’s grandchild. Sometimes one approves, and at other times one feels sad for one’s past reaction and the present reaction of the daughter to her children.

Yet, I think with joy at what I helped create, and with understanding at what this individual has become today. Let us not go into what all shaped her and made her what she is. She is and one has been and will remain essentially a mother – friend and sharer of her joys, sorrows, her ideas and queries. One is learning once again to look anew at her life and motherhood.

Me and Adi, my first born

I realized the profound role of a mother only when I became one. Still, sometime I wonder why some mothers fail to untie the apron strings especially with the boys and set them free? Why they cling to them, smothering their growth? what chemical changes take place to turn a mother into a much disliked mother – in – law ? Is a mother’s love conditional at times ? I leave you with Some food for thought.

******

This post is part of the Blogadda Mother’s Day Contest

Thank you PringOO website for this warm gesture , I would love to gift this beautiful chocolate and teddy customized mug to my beloved ma .

28 thoughts on “Recapturing the joy : A Mother’s Day Post

  1. Absolutely touching post. Liked your mother’s points on it…simple yet profound !!!

    The pictures speak a thousand words… 🙂

    Thanks so much Uma .. I thought it was a good idea to discover that part of mom 🙂 She saved me some embarrassing moments by not giving details LOL ( kiddin)
    love those pix myself . 🙂

    Like

  2. ‘I wonder why some mothers fail to untie the apron strings especially with the boys and set them free? Why they cling to them, smothering their growth? what chemical changes take place to turn a mother into a much disliked mother – in – law ? Is a mother’s love conditional at times ?’ – Wow wow wow! If only people realized it so well 🙂

    Lovely post Tikuli and the pics r sooo sweet 🙂 There’s some charm attached to the black n white ones. I luv them 🙂

    🙂 Thanks So much Swaram, yea I think I will do a post on the points to ponder. glad you loved my effort.

    Like

  3. That struck a chord Tikuli! Especially loved reading your mother’s thoughts..so profound!

    Lovely post 🙂

    Thank you Deeps 🙂 keep reading.

    Like

  4. Hi tikuli,

    beautiful thoughts there!!

    I second everything that ur mother said and u so beautifully put forth…

    I really liked the line’ outgrew her lap but not love’ very poetic!

    it is always a pleasure to hop in here..Keep writing!

    I would also like to ‘invite’ you to check my poem at my page:

    http://www.versepoems.com/2010/05/dear-mother.html

    ur honest opinion wld be invaluable!Thanks!

    Hi Pranav , thank you for your appreciation. My mom ,me kids we all share a very special bond. you can read all about her in the link I have shared or in the parenthood section. 🙂
    visited your blog and commented .

    Like

  5. too lovely 🙂 one of the best entries. All the best for the contest!!

    🙂 Thanks, pleasure to find you here. reminder that I need to read the rest of your blog 😀 . Welcome again .

    Like

  6. Intriguing and Well Composed..Nice pics as well (Two generations .Awesome)..Well Done..

    Thanks so much . Yes two generations of love, joy and care. 🙂

    Like

  7. It was such a pleasure to read your mom’s words……..beautiful post.

    Welcome to my blog Sands 🙂 thank you for your appreciation

    Like

  8. Nice one. A pleasure to read your mother’s point of view 🙂
    Happy mother’s day:)

    Happy Mother’s Day to you to Shilpa. I shall read yours now. thank you for the comment

    Like

  9. Absolutely beautiful, Tiku!!!!! Happy Mother’s Day to you!!!

    Your friend,

    Dan

    Thanks Dan, loved to see you here and read my post. welcome to my blog dear one

    Like

  10. a very deep and meaningful post. I am not a mother yet but I can see the same doubts, questions and appreciation in my mother’s eyes whenever she sees my sisters with their kids.

    A mother is a vast sea, she has so many hidden attributes that we sometimes get just a glimpse of it.

    Happy Mothers Day Tiku 🙂

    I am glad you liked it and you know what I am sure when you become a mother you will be able to handle them much better than any of us. love and hugs
    Happiness always to you too
    🙂

    Like

  11. Very apt narration and presentation of emotional nuances of motherhood in a pragmatic way….

    Though i scribbled some words on motherhood,
    honestly, i feel that the concept of mother is beyond words and language…..
    Motherhood is not a verb to do,
    it is an adjective to feel …
    Being a boy, it is beyond horizon to gauge the exact profoundness of motherhood though i experienced the love out of it…
    May be all i know is just a tip of iceberg…

    welcome to this blog Mahesh 🙂 yes words really fall short when we think of motherhood and I mean all the mothers even those who do not have a biological child go thru the same joys and sorrows of bringing up children and have same questions

    Like

  12. 79?!? That’s awesome.
    I’m also not “One day celebration” person. I wanna celebrate my Birthday everyday. 😛
    By the way, nice post. 🙂

    Nethra if you open the links in the post you will find posts written just for her. One of them won the third prize for last years Indus Ladies contest , the link is on the side bar. other posts are in the parenthood category. enjoy

    Like

  13. “I am not exactly a ” One day celebration” person, for me each living moment is filled with love and gratitude for those who are precious to me”.. i can totally relate to this 🙂

    Lovely post.. and great to have your mother write about her motherhood! She has so concisely worded the essence of infinite feelings and thoughts!!

    Best wishes to you 🙂

    Thank you Priya and welcome to the blog. I am glad all of you appreciated amma’s view. She will be delighted. she is a cyber mom and will surely comment here too 🙂

    Like

  14. A nice post, in your mother’s own sentiments. I totally agree that we realize the tremendous scope of motherhood once we ourselves become mothers. In India, where mothers give much more than around the world, sometimes they are taken for granted. Mother’s day is a lovely way to honor and shower your love on them.

    Thanks Abha and welcome.
    I do that every moment of every day since I realized how much time I had already wasted. 😦

    Like

  15. Beautifully written…nice food for thought too…the apron strings and mother-in-law part…!
    Keep Writing such excellent pieces.
    Happy Mothers Day
    Regards
    Vikram

    Hi Vikram
    regards and thank you for the appreciation , I will do a separate post on that issue soon 🙂

    Like

  16. That was a beautiful post Tikuli. You outdo yourself when you write about your mom! Her words are profound but in a very matter-of-fact way. Would love to meet her someday!

    Here’s wishing you the best for the contest.

    ps. you look the same in the childhood and ‘mother’ pics! Lovely! 🙂

    Thanks so much Zephyr . yes it would be a pleasure to introduce you to ma . I would love that very much.
    :)thanks for your lovely words
    love you

    Like

  17. Beautifully written Tikuli. Though each write on a mother is special..I love this the most out of all that I have read today.

    Its touching and its filled with wisdom.

    I am not a ‘one day celebration’ kind of person either. Actually its more of being neutral. But its lovely to read writes like this.

    It is when watching the grandchildren that at last one realizes many things. Seeing one’s grown up child as a mother react and deal with her own children fetches one short. Was this the way I behaved, one thinks, seeing an instant thoughtless reaction of the mother to one’s grandchild. Sometimes one approves, and at other times one feels sad for one’s past reaction and the present reaction of the daughter to her children.

    So very true. I am not yet a mother but can perhaps understand some of the words.

    Getting sentimental at the drop of a hat these days .
    Sometimes in the middle of a busy day I pause and look at her, wondering how I will live so far away without her. My best friend.

    And on that last note..indeed what chemical changes take place one wonders!
    Maybe scientists could do a study on it.:)

    Psychologists already have written tomes on it. and tsill unable to explain all of it.

    Maybe one day MILS will turn into Mothers?

    One lives in hope. 😀

    Amma will be delighted to read this Indy. Thank you so very much for appreciating my efforts. I have learned from many people on my way up here, You, Ritu, IHM, Shail, Soli, Gyanban and many many more. Thank you all .
    Yea one day I hope all the MILs will turn into mothers. I am gonna do a post soon after this contest and voice my thoughts on this

    Like

  18. luv dis post……
    ::: (\_(\
    *: (=’ :’) :*
    •.. (,(”)(”)¤°.¸¸.•´¯`»
    Cyber maate and Super cyber naani… 😉

    Thanks sweetheart. wish you had said something about what you feel about your ma and grandma , still loads love . cute kitty 🙂

    Like

  19. Bitia,dear child,it was quite touching and somewhat embarrassing to read my thoughts thus displayed AND,specially,the responses[or comments as u say!!].you are getting better in expressing your thoughts objectively.i am happy and feel much ‘abhimaan’–[the word ‘proud doesn’t convey this ].Now let me celebrate ‘Daughter’s Day’.

    Amma thank you for reading my tribute. I know words are not just enough to show how we feel about each other. Whatever I am it is due to the unconditional support and the direction you and pa gave . 🙂 yea a celebration need no reason but a daughter’s day is a good idea. let’s plan it. hugs and loads of love to you.

    Like

  20. The previous comment is the best comment here, I guess. Hugs to you Tikuli.

    And congrats to you….for getting the special mention…very well deserved…. 🙂
    thanks Uma I got my reward the day amma and Adi commented here. and what I feel for them is the gift much above any ..still love you all for appreciating

    Like

  21. You know what that commnet from your mom made you a winner even before the results were announced.. so i think i’m a bit late in wishing you congrats !!! 😀

    Thanks Sagarika

    yes amma’s comment is my gift of joy. you are never late to share love 🙂 thank you ones more

    Like

  22. @Aunty Your daughter is a beautiful writer who touches something inside with each write of hers.
    Abhimaan is exactly the right word to describe I guess because this is what ma also uses.:)

    To see your comment here must have made Tiku smile . The bond between you two is obvious.
    ((hugs))

    @Tikuli Congratulations ! ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))Knew this write was different. For me, its the most special one coz it has stayed with me till now

    Indy , I read this and through tears of love and joy I am trying to search the alphabets on the key board. Will tell ma to visit again . she too was a bit chocked up and when Adi also commented I felt that I have not failed as mom. you know sweets the love I get from my readers especially those who honestly critique my work and appreciate too makes my heart swell with joy
    Huuuuuuuuuuugs to you too and thank you so so much . love you

    Like

  23. Pingback: Winners Announced for 'Tribute to Mom' Mother's Day Contest

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