Remembrance : A Poem


Silently I watch my sunset dreams
dissolve in the serene, endless evening sky
The colors fade slowly
turning from shades of crimson
to melancholy Grey and finally black

The speechless valleys
fill with shadows of memories
Bare leafless trees add to the
stillness of my heart

I walk a lonely path
in a never ending wilderness

My spirit numb from the pain
and the hurt of frozen love

unkempt promises, shattered hopes
pierce my soul like fragments of
broken glass

my eyes fill with the
mist of your love
as I feel the sting
of your absence

moments slip without a trace
on an endless stretch
I, caged, bruised and lonely
walk upon the crushed hopes
beneath the skies of memories

Hoping against hope
that some day the sky once again
will be lit with a million splendid stars
And you my wandering moon will
light up my life again

(Image courtesy google)

This is my last NaBloPoMo post for the month of may.


Lamhe..subah aur dopahar

Picture 193


कुछ आधे अधूरे ख्वाब
अपनी अलसाई आँखों मी समेटे
सूरज की पहली किरणों की चादर ओढे हुए
बिस्तर की सिलवटों में है
एक जिस्म करवटें ले रहा
तकिये पे शाम के बादलों के साए हैं
लिपटे हुए
नर्म गुलाबी होंठ जैसे ओस से भीगे गुलाब
और गालों पे लालिमा भोर के आकाश सी
हाथों की उँगलियाँ थामे है
डोर रेशमी प्रेम की
और पैरों में झनक
उठते हैं सैकडों स्वर,
जब शरमाकर वो तलवे
आपस में हैं मिलते इठलाकर
लेकर अंगडाई उतरती है ज़मी पर
फिर तुम्हरी मृण्मयी
मिलन की आस दामन में छुपाये


हो चली दोपहरी
अब भी बुन रही है ख्वाब हो
है आस अब भी कि
आएगा कोई संदेसा
पूछती है खुद से
आखीर उनका ये प्रेम है कैसा
उँगलियों में उलझी लटों को
बांधती, विरह से नम
झील सी आँखों से है ताकती
एक चुप्पी सी है शाखों पे
परिंदे खामोश हैं
थम गयी है हवा
थम सा गया है सब जहाँ
पर कहीं भीतर है उठने वाला
इक तूफां
बहुत उमस है,
शायद अब बरसेगा आसमां
लेके आयेंगीं घटायें
मन् में छिपे दुख का सावन
बहुत बरसेंगे ये नयन
लगता शाम ढले

शाम ढल रही है अब देखें क्या होता है ..रात युही गुज़रती है या कोई खबर आती है

The Witch of Portobello : A Must Read

I was tempted to put this as a blog post along with AC where I have just posted it, just to get more viewership. It is a book I recommend to all.

This is also my NaBloPoMo post.

The Witch of Portobello

The Witch of Portobello

My introduction to Paulo Coelho came from a friend who is a Pranic Healer. I was unwell and had nothing much to do than rest. Someone got me the books I had listed and I immersed myself in them. I read The Alchemist and The Zahir and liked them.

On one rainy day I Picked up The Witch of Portobello and read the back cover.

“How do we find the courage to always be true to ourselves—even if we are unsure of whom we are?”

I knew it was going to be a long association with the writer and the book.

There is something magical about this book. I wonder if it was my interest in witches or something about the cover and the design of the book that made me pick it up.

The rain clouds were thundering outside and I began to read, tucked in the warmth of the blanket. It touched me somewhere deep, this story of a young woman named Athena, a gypsy by birth who is adopted by a wealthy Lebanese couple who flee from Beirut to UK. Portobello is a street in London where Athena or Sherine Khalil holds her worship meeting.

I began to associate with the main character and many a times stopped to ponder how similar some thoughts can be. It stirred me to the core of my heart and it was in the wee hours of the morning that I read the last line, still unable to keep the book. I stared at it for long time as if bewitched by Athena. Such is the power of this excellent book by Paulo Coelho.

There are phrases and lines in the book that you would like to mark for life. I did.

It is a biographical account of a mysterious woman called Athena, depicted through a series of narrations by individuals who directly interacted with her such as a journalist, an actress, a doctor turned witch, a numerologist, Athena’s adoptive mother, her ex-husband, a Catholic priest, a Polish neighbor, a bank manager, a Bedouin, a restaurant owner, Athena’s birth mother, a French historian They either knew her very well or at least thought they did.

“People create a reality and then become the victims of that reality. Athena rebelled against that—and paid a high price.” —Heron Ryan, journalist in The Witch of Portobello

The first person perspective helps the reader to connect with each one of them and that sure seems the purpose of the author and one can also chronologically follow Athena’s life.

Many people have not liked it as much as other Coelho books but for me this is a pilgrimage of soul, an inner journey into the hidden power of our life infused with philosophy, religious miracles, love, fear of loss .

It is a story of her spiritual quest, her constant urge to fill the empty spaces in her life, her efforts to connect to her spiritual side through music and dance.

Excerpt from the book

“I learned calligraphy while I was in Dubai. I dance whenever I can, but music only exhausts because the pauses exist, and sentences only exist because the blank spaces exist. When I’m doing something, I feel complete, but no one can keep active twenty- four hours a day. As soon as I stop, I feel there’s something lacking. You’ve often said to me that I’m a naturally restless person, but I didn’t choose to be that way. I’d like to sit here quietly, watching television, but I can’t. My brain won’t stop. Sometimes I think I’m going mad. I need always to be dancing, writing, selling land, taking care of Viorel, or reading whatever I find to read. Do you think that’s normal?”

There are many places in the book where her search for finding out her true identity is brought out in a very compelling manner. Not afraid to tell her dreams she makes her own rules and lives by them.

“Athena’s great problem was that she was a woman of the twenty-second century living in the twenty-first. Did she pay a price? She certainly did. But she would have paid a still higher price if she had repressed her natural exuberance. She would have been bitter, frustrated, always saying ‘I’ll just sort these things out, and then I’ll devote myself to my dream,’ always complaining ‘that the conditions are never quite right’.”

—Deirdre O’Neil, known as Edda in The Witch of Portobello

I won’t write much about the story as I would prefer that the readers buy a copy and discover Athena and themselves through the book itself.

I have by now read it at least ten times and each reading has made me connect to some aspect in me that was hidden till now.
It made me think about my life, my identity as a woman and my relationships.

“NO one can manipulate anyone else. In any relationship, both parties know what they are doing, even if one of them complains later on that they were used.”

-The Witch of Portobello

It gave me a new strength to follow my dreams and to realize them irrespective of everything.

“People who return from battle are either dead or stronger in spite of or because of their scars. It’s better that way; I’ve lived on a battlefield since I was born, but I’m still alive and I don’t need anyone to protect me.” – The Witch of Portobello

I discovered many finer aspects of life in general and about my own quest to justify my existence in the universe.

Those who wish to know more about the author Paulo Coelho can visit his blogs on Paulo Coelho’s blogs.

And follow him on twitter paulocoelho

In the end I would recommended ‘The Witch of Portobello’ to each one of you. I rate it as a perfect 10.

ek din zindagi ke naam..ek kahani

एक दिन ज़िन्दगी के नाम

दूर कहीं कोयल की कूक गोपी के कानों में पड़ी तो अपनी अलसाई अधखुली आँखों से , अंगडाई लेते हुए, उसने एक नज़र अपने चारों तरफ देखा और एक हलकी सी मुस्कराहट होंटों पे लिए चादर तान के फिर आँखें बंद कर लीं |

ठंडी हवा के झोके उसकी सर को सहलाते रहे और गोपी सपनों के पंख लगा मंद हवा के साथ एक अलग ही दुनिया में खो गया| आज उसे कोई जल्दी नहीं थी| ढाबे का मालिक एक दिन के लिए अपने घर गया था और आज का दिन केवल उसका था|

अचानक जैसे ही उसे ये ख्याल आया तो गोपी की सारी नींद हवा हो गयी.. पूरा दिन कोई काम नहीं ? ना बर्तन मांजना , ना लोगों को खाना परोसना , ना टेबल कुर्सियां पोंछना और ना गरम तंदूर और दहकते हुयी रसोई के साये में दिन बिताना | कुछ नहीं |

आखरी बार ऐसा कब हुआ था की उसके पास अपने लिए कुछ लम्हे थे ? शायद कई साल पहले जब बाबा और माँ जिंदा थे और वो पूरा दिन बाबा की गोदी में चढा रहता था या माँ के पास कंचे खेलता रहता था | शायद पॉँच बरस का था वो तब. फिर किस्मत ने करवट ली और सारा जीवन ही बदल गया| चचा उसे अपने साथ शहर ले आये और इस ढाबे वाले को बेच दिया | तीन सौ रूपए कीमत दी ढाबे के मालिक ने चचा को | लाडो का ब्याह जो करना था, एक एक पैसा जोड़ रहे थे वो फिर एक और बच्चे को कहाँ से खिलाते | चचा फिर कभी उसका हाल जानने नहीं आये |

गोपी ने कभी इस बात का दुःख नहीं मनाया की उसकी ज़िन्दगी को इतने सस्ते मी बेच दिया गया | हालाँकि यहाँ सुबह चार बजे से रात के दो बजे तक काम के सिवा कुछ नहीं था पर दो वक़्त की रोटी और सर पर छत तो थी |

एक लम्बी साँस लेकर गोपी ने चादर उतारी और झट से हैण्ड पम्प पर मुह धोने चला गया | थोडी ही देर में वो नहा धो कर तैयार था अपनी ज़िन्दगी का एक दिन अपनी ख़ुशी से जीने के लिए |

बटुए में से उसने कुछ पैसे निकाले और ठाठ से चाय वाले काका की दुकान पर चल दिया , आज उसने रसोई में ना घुसने की कसम खा ली थी | चाय नाश्ता करके उसने साहेब लोगों की तरह छोटू को एक रुपया थमाया और बोला ” रख ले तेरे लिए है “| छोटू ने भी हस्ते हुए दोस्त से रुपया लिया और अंटी में रख लिया

सारा दिन गोपी नदी किनारे और गन्ने के खेतों में घूमता रहा| हरीश बाबु के आम के बगीचे में से उसने कुछ आम तोडे और पूरी दोपहर आम के पेड़ के नीचे पैर पसार कर नीले आसमान को निहारता रहा|

कभी तितलियों के पीछे भागता तो कभी भूरी कुतिया के पिल्लों के साथ खेलता और वो भी एक नया दोस्त पाकर जैसे पगला से गए थे| गोपी ने जेब से पैसे निकाल कर गिने | कुछ दस रूपए थे , दौड़ कर वो फिर चाय की दुकान पर गया और एक थैली दूध और एक प्लेट ले आया और फिर खूब आनंद से सबको दूध पीते देखता रहा |

शाम ढलने लगी थी और चिडियाँ अपने घरों को लौटनी शुरू हो गयीं थी| चारों तरफ शोर ही शोर था | गोपी ने एक नज़र आम से लदे पेड़ों को देखा और धीरे धीरे वापस ढाबे की और चल पड़ा|

अचानक उसका मन् उदास हो गया | एक दिन जो उसने अपने ज़िन्दगी के नाम किया वो खोखला सा लगने लगा| सारे दिन पर नज़र डाली तो अपने जीवन के खालीपन का एहसास हुआ | एहसास हुआ उस अकेलेपन का जिसे वो ढाबे के शोर गुल और मालिक की गालियों के बीच भुला बैठा था | एहसास हुआ माँ और बाबा के ना होने का | यही सोचते सोचते उसकी आँखे और गला भर आये |

सुस्त क़दमों से अपने बोझिल मन् को लिए वो वापस ढाबे पर लौट आया| छोटू ने उसे मुह लटकाए आते देखा तो दूर से चिल्लाया ,” क्यूँ रे गोपी दिन भर कहाँ मस्ती मारता रहा और ऐसा सूजा मुह बना कर क्यूँ बैठा है? कोई मर गया क्या तेरा ?”

गोपी ने छोटू की हँसी और बात दोनों को अनसुना कर मुह फेर लिया और आँखों में भरे यादों के सागर को छलकने से रोकने का यतन करता रहा |

हाँ , उसने सोचा शायद कोई मर गया है | शायद मेरे अन्दर का वो बचपन मर गया है, शायद वो खुशियाँ जो मैंने अपने परिवार क साथ मनाईं थीं वो मर गयीं हैं, और शायद मेरे सारे सपने सारी उम्मीदें मर गयीं हैं |

ज़िन्दगी सिर्फ चूल्हे की आग में जलने के लिए बच गयी है| अब तो खुद के साथ समय बिताना भी कठिन हो गया है | शायद वो गोपी ही मर गया है और एक नए गोपी ने जन्म ले लिया है जिसका जीवन कोल्हू के बैल की तरह ढाबे की ज़िन्दगी के चारों तरफ घूमता है |

जेब से बचे पैसे निकाल गोपी ने वापस रख दिए| जितने उत्साह से वो इस दिन का इन्तेज़ार कर रहा था वो उसपर बहुत भारी पड़ने लगा था | अभी पूरी अँधेरी रात बाकी थी | सामने छाए की दुकान बंद हो गयो थी और छोटू अपने मालिक के साथ घर को निकल चुका था | कुछ दूर ,दुसरे ढाबे में आने जाने वालों का खूब शोर था और काम धड़ल्ले से हो रहा था|

गोपी ने कपडे बदले और सामने पेड के नीचे बिछी चारपाई पर लेट आसमान को देखता रहा | एक्का दुक्का तारे निकलने लगे थे | चाँद भी धीरे धीरे बादलों में से लिकल रहा था | ये भी मेरी तरह अकेला है गोपी ने सोचा| पूरी रात भटकता रहता है | पर खुद के दुख छुपा कर हम लोगों को कितना सूकून देता है | कल मालिक आ जायेगा , फिर लोग आयेंगे , ढाबे में रौनक छा जायेगी | शायद कोई ट्रक ड्राईवर फिर मेरे लिए कुछ सामान ले आये | फिर नए लोगों से मिलना होगा और ज़िन्दगी फिर पटरी पर चल पड़ेगी यही सोचते सोचते वो ना जाने कब सो गया |

ठंडी हवा ने मुस्कुराकर हलके से उसके सर को सहलाना शुरू कर दिया और चाँद मखमली बादलों में छिप गया ताकि वो आराम से सो सके | आखिर ये उसकी ज़िन्दगी की एक अकेली सुकून भरी रात थी , जहाँ केवल वो था , उसके सपने थे , उम्मीदें थीं और कुछ नहीं था |

Nanhi kali(the tender bud)I too want to blossom:Female Infanticide

girl-child1The village was slowly waking up to yet another day. The birds had left their nest in search of the early worm and one could hear the bells in the temple on a distant hillock.

Very few people were out at this time. Two figures emerged from behind a cluster of houses and started walking hurriedly towards the thick fields full of wheat crop ready to cut.

They had a mission. They were going to commit a crime no one will know of. A little bundle slept peacefully in the arms of one of them.
On reaching a specific spot near the canal, they unwrapped the bundle and mercilessly held the little baby girl’s head under water till the helpless infant stopped struggling to breath.

They pulled it out and quickly buried her in the previously selected makeshift grave. This was the second girl they had buried in three years.

washing their sinful body in the silent canal water, they returned and vanished behind the rows and rows of houses.

Nothing stirred, even the air became still, as it witnessed this gruesome act of murder.

“Female infanticide is the intentional killing of baby girls due to the preference for male babies and from the low value associated with the birth of females.”

What we are up against is a deeply ingrained patriarchal attitude to which even the medical profession and the women, who in spite of being the victims, unthinkingly subscribe to.

What is the future of womanhood in the land where the girl child is killed using every possible means by her own family especially her own father, brother and in many cases even mother. Many a times they are simply not allowed to be born.

According to a report by the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) up to 50 million girls and women are missing from India’ s population as a result of systematic gender discrimination in India. In most countries in the world, there are approximately 105 female births for every 100 males.

In India, there are less than 93 women for every 100 men in the population. The accepted reason for such a disparity is the practice of female infanticide in India.

Five million girls were eliminated between 1986 and 2001 because of fetal sex determination done by unethical medical professionals. The rate of extermination continues to increase after census 2001.

The practice is taking an alarming proportions and is shockingly common in even rural areas where people do not normally have access to sex determination facilities.

The family waits until the mother gives birth, and when they find out that a daughter is born, they go ahead and kill the baby by adopting various means such as strangling the baby, giving her poison, dumping her in a garbage bin, drowning her, burying her alive, or suffocating her with pillows etc.

Many a times female foeticide is the easy and simple way out for those male child hungry couples. Sometimes Barbaric methods are used to kill the fetus, endangering even the mother’s life.

What is disturbing is that female infanticide is not considered a big crime and rarely do culprits get convicted. Surprisingly, Sex-selective abortion are not always forced upon by husbands and in-laws , they are often done in consensus by the mother.. Since she is the one who has given birth to the unwanted female, it is her who must do away with it. She is forced to do so at times, and willingly does so at others since she herself desires a male child for various age old reasons rooted in our society.

A research was conducted to analyze the patterns of female foeticide and infanticide in China, India, and other countries in Southeast Asia. ( I searched the net to discover this and I am quoting )

The report concludes:

“( The magnitude of the phenomena of female foeticide and girl infanticide in India, China and other parts of Asia has reached a critical level creating a worldwide demographic imbalance with, in turn, drastic economic and social consequences. Over 100 million women are now missing in Asia which will result in a 12 to 15 percent excess of young men in the next twenty years.


It will take generations to change people’s mindset but the situation worldwide is so dramatic that we cannot afford to wait any longer. It is imperative that the International community calls on the governments and all actors responsible for this human and demographic tragedy to enact laws and take urgent measures to fight these violence and discrimination which, by denying the first basic right of all – the right to life – denies all other human rights. )”

What are the causes of 10,000,000 female infants killed in the past 20 years in India.

1. We need a son to carry our family name , to ensure continuity of our family line.

2. A son is needed to perform the last rites so our souls will attain peace.

3. A girl means expense as we will have to pay dowry and get her married.

4. We need a son to take care of us in old age while a daughter goes away to another house after marriage.

5. I need a son to complete my family.

When I look at these reasons, which mainly people give for wanting a male child, I wonder what kind of family line they want to continue, with what value system. won’t it be better if it finished then and there. and if every one thought the way they do where is the DIL going to come to carry forward the esteemed family name?

How many sons take care of their old parents in reality is a question to ponder. Look at the old age homes where mothers and fathers spend their last few years trying to hide the vacant dreams in their eyes.

Why not educate the girl child and make her self sufficient. It is known that you educate a girl child , you educated a family.

Why not oppose the dowry system and take law seriously. For it is one of the main reasons for female foeticide and infanticide. We should stop programming the girl child from the moment it is born to accept the so called Indian values, customs and rituals. Is it not needed to end the need for dowry itself instead of finding shortcut solutions to this evil practice?

We should stop the discrimination at home where the girl is underfed and her share is snatched to feed the good for nothing brother. The girls are advised and taught to stay indoors, learn to cook and wash, clean and sew for they have to go to another house after marriage.

She is not sent to school as education is considered a taboo for her and of no use to her as she is that unpaid slave who has to just birth children and slog for her husband and other members of the family.

She is snubbed and frowned upon if she dares to talk of her dreams, aspirations or in some cases abuse from the hands of family males.

This is our country where women are seen as images of Goddess.

What hypocrites we are?

We invoke our scripts and religion when it suits us and do what is convenient for us when it suits us.

We do rituals and offerings, go on pilgrimage to various Devi temples and abuse the woman of our house, kill the unborn daughter, ill treat the one who survives and sell her to some good for nothing hand pecked boy .

For their entire life most of the women live chained in the hollow bonds of being a daughter, sister, wife, mother and die every moment fulfilling the demands of that relationship.

Somewhere their essence, their identity is lost and they mutely take on the wrath of the hypocrite society.

I think the time has come for a collective uprising against the murder of the very essence of womanhood. To bring the change and to be the change.

This is a NaBloPoMo post for today

(image courtesy Google. All credits to rightful owners )

Ek Chadar maili si

Apni zindagi me jhanka to beete huye salon se bhari huyi kitab ke panne bikharte chale gaye. vyaktigat sangharsh ke dauran apne ko kahin door chor diya aur rookne ka vaqt hi nahi mila. Khudko samjhne ka, sarahne ka aur khilne ka.

Aaj ek kasmasahat hai. Apne se sambandh toota hua lagta haiMann ki dehleez par kayi sapne , kayi vichar khade hain. Kuch purani pehchan hai unse.
Jivan ek tarfa sa ho gaya tha, mere andar ki kalakar, likhika, nari, nartaki, jayika aur ped, paudho se pyar karne wali malin, barish ki phuhar me sahaj hansnewali aurat aur sath hi aurat hone ka ehsas ,sabhi kuch ek purane kapdo ki gathari me bandh kar mann ke kisi kone me phenk diya tha. apni nayi seemayon me main aisi bandhi ki sare shringar choot gaye aur ek sookhepan ki chadar ordh lee.

Zimmedarion ki ye chadar ab ghisne lagi hai.
Ise uthar dena chahti hun.. ek rahat ,ek aazadi ka ehsas mehsoos karna chahti hun.. ek nayi chadar odhne ka..shayd aadat si ho gayi hai chadar odhne ki..ek suraksha ka ehsas milta tha, garmahat ka bhi. Chadar hi mera astitva ban kar reh gayi thi.. meri pehchan.

Kaun hai es chadar ke neeche, kiska jism hai, kaisa hai, kis rang kahai, kaisa dikhta hai ye jism ..sab bhool gayi thi main.
aaj phir wo jism chadar tale karvaten le raha hai ..khle aakash me pankh lagakar udna chahta hai .. khwab dekhna chahta hai, unhe sakar karna chahta hai.. chadar ki garmahat se nikal kar insani garmahat ko mehsoos karna chahta hai..

us naadi ki tarah behna chahta hai .jo apna rasta khud banati hai ..virodh me tod kar nikalna chahta ..talab ban kar thaharna nahi chahta ..bandhna nahi chahta .mukt hona chahta hai.
pane ko dekhna chahta hai paas se ..apne me sabko samana chahta hai.
Jana chahta hai us sansar ki aur jo usme hai ..mujhme hai.hawa, khushboo, samudra, badal sab banana chahta hai ..ek bhasha ek parivesh nahi ..sab kuch.

is maili si ghisi chadar ko utar aaj maine pehli bar khud se mulaqat ki ..apne andar ki sundar nari se do baaat ki ..
sab bandhan , sab zanjeeren tod de. aaj apne ko sahi mayne me muqt kiya ..

Ab main khud apni pehchan hun ..

samay aa gaya hai apne se judne ka… jeene ka .. apni abhivyaqtiyon ke dwar kholne ka.. jeevan me rang bharne ka .

Samay aa gaya hai  sadiyon se bari khamoshi ko todne ka ..apne sapno apne adhikaron ko aawaz dene ka..

khud se judne ka ek naya prayas

आज यूँही बैठे ख़याल आया की क्यूँ ना एक हिंदी भाषा का सेक्शन शुरू करें | कुछ नगमे, कुछ गीत, कुछ जीवन के धागे में पिरोये मोती लफ्जों के रूप में पन्नों में बिखेरें जाएँ | जो रस , जो कशिश एस भाषा में है वो शायद कहीं नहीं| उर्दू शायरी , नज्मे और कुछ बेहतर लेख और कहानियां, ये सभी इस् सेक्शन का हिस्सा होंगे |

चलिए बिस्मिल्लाह करते हैं ग़ालिब साहेब की एक नज़्म से और उनके साथ मेरे do और पसंदीदा शायर और कवी फैज़ अहेमद फैज़ और गुलज़ार साहेब|

लफ्जों के जो मिठास इनकी लेखनी से निकली है वो कम ही पढने को मिलती है |

ये मेरे उन सभी दोस्तों के लिए है जिन्हें हिंदी और उर्दू भाषा से बेइंतेहा प्यार है ..मेरी तरह

लुत्फ़ उठायें

हर एक बात पे कहते हो तुम कि तू क्या है

हर एक बात पे कहते हो तुम कि तू क्या है
तुम्हीं कहो के ये अंदाज़-ए-गुफ़्तगू क्या है

न शोले में ये करिश्मा न बर्क़ में ये अदा
कोई बताओ कि वो शोख़-ए-तुंदख़ू क्या है

ये रश्क है कि वो होता है हमसुख़न हमसे
वगर्ना ख़ौफ़-ए-बदामोज़ी-ए-अद क्या है

चिपक रहा है बदन पर् लहू से पैराहन
हमारी जेब को अन हाजत-ए-रफ़ू क्या है

जला हैं जिस्म जहाँ दिल भी जल गया होगा
कुरेदते हो जो अब राख जुस्तजू क्या है

रगों में दौड़ते फिरने के हम नहीं क़ायल
जब आँख ही से न टपका तो फिर लहू क्या है

वो चीज़ जिसके लिये हमको हो बहिश्त अज़ीज़
सिवाए बादा-ए-गुल्फ़ाम-ए-मुश्कबू क्या है

पियूँ शराब अगर ख़ुम भी देख लूँ दो चार
ये शीशा-ओ-क़दाह-ओ-कूज़ा-ओ-सुबू क्या है

रही न ताक़त-ए-गुफ़्तार और अगर हो भी
तो किस उम्मीद पे कहिये के आरज़ू क्या है

बना है शाह का मुसाहिब्, फिरे है इतराता
वरना शहर में “ग़ालिब” की आबरू क्या है

फैज़ साहेब से कुछ पुराना रिश्ता है| बचपन मी जब बाबा ने उर्दू शायरी से पहली बारा हमारी मुलाक़ात कराइ तो हमें फैज़ भा गए हालाँकि फिराक साहेब का जोर ज्यादा था फिर भी इनके नज्मों और ग़ज़लों मी जो उतार चढाव थे उन्होंने हमें बंधी रक्खा है अब तक

तुम आये हो – फ़ैज़ अहमद फ़ैज़

तुम आये हो तो शबे-इन्तज़ार गुज़री है
तलाश में है सहर, बार-बार गुज़री है

जुनूं मे जितनी भी गुज़री बकार गुज़री है
अगरचे दिल पे खराबी हज़ार गुज़री है

हुई है हज़्रते-नासेह से गुफ्तगू जिस शब
वो शब ज़रूर सरे-कू-ए-यार गुज़री है

वो बात सारे फसाने मे जिसका ज़िक्र न था
वो बात उनको बहुत नगवार गुज़री है

न गुल खिले, ना उनसे मिले, न मै पी है
अजीब रंग में अब के बहार गुज़री है

चमन पे ग़ारते-गुलची से जाने क्या गुज़री
क़फस से आज सबा बेक़रार गुज़री है

गुलज़ार साहेब मेरे दिल के बहुत करीब हैं | इनकी रचनाओं ने मेरे लेखन पर एक गहरे चाप छोड़ी है| भावनाओं की जो गहरायी गुलज़ार साहेब की नज्मों मी मिलाती है वो सीधे दिल और रूह में उतर जाती है | शायद एक ब्लोग उनको नज़र करना ही होगा तभी कुछ बात बनेगी पर अभी मेरी प्रिय नज़्म उनके खजाने से

नज़्म उलझी हुई है सीने में

नज़्म उलझी हुई है सीने में
मिसरे अटके हुए हैं होठों पर
उड़ते-फिरते हैं तितलियों की तरह
लफ़्ज़ काग़ज़ पे बैठते ही नहीं
कब से बैठा हुआ हूँ मैं जानम
सादे काग़ज़ पे लिखके नाम तेरा

बस तेरा नाम ही मुकम्मल है
इससे बेहतर भी नज़्म क्या होगी

Breast Cancer : Stay Aware : Stay Positive: Stay Healthy

The incidences of breast cancer in India are on the rise and is rapidly becoming the number one cancer in females pushing the cervical cancer to the second spot. The seriousness of the situation is apparent after going through recent data from Indian Council of Medical Research(ICMR).

It is reported that one in 22 women in India is likely to suffer from breast cancer during her lifetime, while the figure is definitely more in America with one in eight being a victim of this deadly cancer.

I had been reading about the role positive thinking plays in cutting down the risk of any dis-ease especially cancer. There have been instances where the cancer ha got completely cured just by will and positive attitude.

Every woman should do BSE (Breast self examination) to feel if there is some lump or swelling. If she finds one, she should undergo mammography. Every lump is not cancerous so there is no need to panic. Breast cancer detected on time can prevent morbidity and mortality. Pap smear and colostomy pick up the cancer of the cervix in very initial stages so now a days chemo is not required in all cases.

No one knows exactly why a normal breast cell becomes a cancerous one, and there is probably no single cause. It is thought, however, that breast cancer results from a combination of risk factors. These risk factors can be grouped into several categories:

Hereditary risk: It has long been known that women whose mothers or sisters had breast cancer have a higher risk of developing the disease themselves. Recently, it has been discovered that breast cancer can develop when a woman inherits a breast cancer susceptibility gene from one of her parents. However, it is important to realize that 85 – 90 percent of breast cancers and NOT hereditary, and that all women need to be screened for breast cancer, even if no one in their families have ever had the disease.

Hormonal risk factors: The female hormones estrogen and progesterone are involved in breast cancer formation. For example, it is known that women who start to menstruate at an early age, or who have a late menopause have a higher risk of breast cancer than women who do not. It is also known that women who take hormone replacement therapy after menopause have an increased risk of breast cancer.

Age: Breast cancer becomes much more common as women grown older.

Gender: Most breast cancer occurs in women, although about 12,000 cases of breast cancer occur in men in the United States each year.

Diet and Exercise: Studies have shown that women who exercise are less likely to develop breast cancer than sedentary women. Studies have also shown that women who gain weight after menopause have an increased risk of breast cancer compared to women who do not.

Early breast cancer usually does not cause pain. In fact, when it first develops, breast cancer may cause no symptoms at all. But as the cancer grows, it can cause these changes:

a lump or thickening in the breast or armpit

a change in the size or shape of the breast

discharge from the nipple

a change in the color or texture of the skin of the breast or areola (such as dimpling, puckering, or scaliness).

Any changes in the breast should be reported to a doctor without delay. Symptoms can be caused by cancer or by a number of less serious conditions. Early diagnosis is especially important for breast cancer because the disease responds best to treatment before it has spread. The earlier breast cancer is found and treated, the better a woman’s chance for complete recovery.

Visual inspection looks for changes in breast contour, new dimpling, nipple inversion, discharge, moles, puckering or persistent sores. Palpation is using the pads of the fingers to press down and feel the tissue around the breasts for any unusual lumps.

Mammography is an x-ray of the breast that reveals suspicious areas that are denser than normal breast tissue or have abnormal deposits of calcium. Mammography is an important screening test which can show a breast cancer long before it is big enough to be felt in the breast. Women over age 40 should undergo a mammogram every year in order to detect breast cancers when they are small and can be treated easily. .

Ultrasonography uses high frequency sound waves that enter the breast and bounce back. The pattern of their echoes produces a picture called a sonogram that detects whether the breast lump is solid (possibly cancerous) or filled with fluid (non-cancerous). An ultrasound is usually recommended to evaluate a palpable breast lump or an abnormality seen on a mammogram.

Amongst the thousands of genes we have, some genes make ‘protective proteins that act as brakes’ in a normal cell that is going thru the cell cycle. The cell is genetically primed to grow to a certain size and then divide to form two new cells, then grow again and then form two cells.

Normally cell division is required, during foetal development, to carry new born babies and children to adulthood, to regenerate injured tissues etc. but the body can’t have such divisions happening unchecked therefore it makes proteins that act as signals for the cell to stop dividing… sometimes a mutation occurs in the DNA of cells leading to NON production of the protecting protein in such cases the cells goes on dividing ultimately forming cancer.

Genes that make protective cell cycle ‘braking’ proteins are termed “tumor suppressor” genes. They have the above described function in normal cells and these genes are seen to be inactivated by mutation or silencing in tumors… hence termed tumor suppressors.

In breast cancer, BRCA tumor suppressor gene was identified a decade or more back. It is mutated and silenced in hereditary breast cancer patients who form a small percentage of all breast cancers patients. Very interesting finding of great use in diagnosis and prognosis but most breast cancers are non hereditary and BRCA gene was not associated with these common cancers.

When I read a book by Louise Hay called ‘You Can Heal Your Life I thought it was just another self help book but slowly as I practiced the methods of positive healing from there I gained so much confidence and learned to manage even the slightest pain.

Everyone should keep a copy of this valuable book.

The simple way of bringing change in my attitude brought tremendous change in my physical, mental and emotional health. Everyday I do these positive thinking exercises and see the result immediately.
During my days of illness, the stress levels had gone much beyond any limits of my thinking and this particular book truly healed me. Without medication and any medical help I came back to good health. Even now I manage daily dis- eases with it and try tokeep myself free of guilt, hurts, pent up emotions, regrets or any such negative emotions.

The power of positive thinking is one way to avoid the risk of any cancer especially breast cancer. Positive thinking is a mental attitude that anticipates happiness, success and favorable outcomes in every situation or action you do. The thoughts get registered in your subconscious mind and you start taking action to create favorable change.

A positive outlook can help you to cope better with stressful situations and can change your life for the better.

Connect with your inner

Connecting with your inner or listening to the instincts is one of the most common ways to develop positive thinking. Whenever any negative thoughts enter your mind, try to replace it with a constructive one. For example, “I won’t be able to do it” will be put forward as “I will do it”. Practice this regularly and you will soon be able to master your mind. Mind is a devious thing and one should never let it overpower us.

Meditation is the key

Meditation calms the mind and relaxes the body. Meditation gives inner strength, peace of mind, relaxation and a sense of bliss, which helps to think positively. So, regular meditation can lead to a calm inner and healthy mind, body and soul.

Always see the brighter side of life

Try to believe that everything happens for a reason and embrace the concept that something good will come out of every situation that momentarily seems bad. Always look on the bright side of life and it will work wonders for you.

Communication helps in a big way

Not saying the things you feel can give a sense of frustration, anxiety and anger, thus giving way to negative thoughts. Hence, communication is an important aspect of positive thinking.

Believe in yourself

Believe in yourself and your capabilities to become more confident. Make a positive commitment to yourself and to the people around you. Praise yourself and be enthusiastic. Love yourself and say it often that you are blessed by the positive forces around you. Staying connected with the universe around you helps in big way.

Tips to positive thinking

Be optimistic and expect favorable outcomes in every situation.

Cultivate the habit of reading inspiring books.

Find reasons to smile more often. It’s a great stress buster.

Try to use positive words, e.g. “I can”, “it will be done”, “it is possible” while thinking and talking.

Engage yourself in enjoyable recreational activities.

Interact with people who have a positive outlook in life.

Positive thinking needs consistent effort as you are creating a new habit. On the other hand, negative thoughts can rip your focus from your goal. There is no greater joy than living a healthy and positive life. So take charge of your mind and think positive. Remember, you are what you think.

This is my NaBloPoMo post for today.

Disclaimer : I am not a doctor or healer. All the information is gathered from articles on internet or books. I have just put them in my words for the benefit of my readers. Thank you. 

Enchanted …NaBloPoMo

The bronze sun melts into the blue waters of the ocean making it blush a very romantic shade of crimson and within a few hours the silvery moon spreads it’s magical light making the water shine like a huge rippled sheet of molten silver..

I am in awe of the creator and often wonder from where she gets all those splendors of colors.

In silence I watch the cotton clouds drift in the clear blue sky ,taking shapes of my dreams. I smile as I lie down on soft green carpet of dewy grass and watch the dance of clouds high above.

An eagle sails through.It’s wings spread. A sight to behold .Freedom in it’s ultimate form . I watch it glide over the mountains, the valley and the ocean,playing hide and seek among the clouds .

I decide to walk till the edge.

The sun in all it’s glory gets ready to merge with the beautiful earth.

The sweet heady cocktail smell of pine trees and wet earth fills the air around me as the cool breeze begins to blow gently.

The waves kiss the beach and withdraw as if shy of the touch .

It is an enchanting view from where I stand.The edge of a cliff jutting out of the mighty mountain.

The vast expanse of the blue green ocean suddenly becomes a glorious show of light and colors.My eyes catch silhouettes of sail boats on the calm waters rhythmically moving with the sway of the water.

I listen quietly to the rusting of the leaves of tall majestic trees as they sway in a soulful dance with the passing wind.

The birds return to their nests for the night.For some time the bird calls and fluttering of wings fill the silent evening, the tree tops come alive with hundreds of birds descending on them to find a suitable place.Then it all becomes quite again as if everything is under some kind of a spell.

I glance around the magical landscape around me, the majestic mountains,the pine trees standing in a line like guards of honor,the ocean and the Grey beach below, thousands of wild daisies spread like a carpet of yellow and white.The lights in the valley like glow worms.

Mesmerized by the mystic ambiance of the place and the breathtaking beauty, I slowly walk toward my cottage. The winding path along the flowerbeds is covered with dry pine leaves. I tread softly not wanting to break the serenity of the place. The light inside is welcoming. I enter the warmth of the room glowing with the bright flames in the fire place.

The moon, partially hidden by the night clouds peeps through my window. I watch in silence. our souls unite and I become one with the cosmic energies around me. Feeling calm and beautiful within, I cuddle up in front of the fire place and thank the unknown creator for the beautiful earth and the sky above and closing my eyes marvel at the mysterious ways in which she spins her magic yarn.

Agony and Ecstacy

It was the night of Pain. It came slowly and gently. Caressing the entire body, making it numb, overpowering it. I was aware of it’s coming. I was conscious of the pain. I accepted it and slowly gathered my positive healing energies to befriend it.

I allowed the natural forces to heal my body. My senses were alert, I became the pain for that moment. The physical pain is part of life but it is the psychological pain that needs to be tackled.It needs to be dissolved. When my mind took over the physical pain it turned it into the psychological pain and created a problem. Thinking about it always does. Reality never is a problem but the ideas that come with it are the real source of problem. If you are able to dissolve that pain you start living in that moment.

Psychological pain is a thing of past as the mind exist only in the past or future, reality exists in the present.

Osho says

“The mind and body are closely related and not antagonistic towards each other as other religions depict them. They tell you to deprive the body of its needs by fasting and torture it to enrich the soul. Osho says exactly the opposite. Love your body, talk to it, share your problems with it and it will respond.”

So I talked with my body and asked it and myself if I was holding up any grudge, any tension or any suppressed emotion. Consciously I started to dissolve it but I needed professional help. My Akka is a pranic healer and has done many distant healing sessions for me.

I called her and explained . The pain, the heat ,the drained out feeling everything. She advised me to have a spoonful of onion juice to cure the inner heat and relax. Slowly the pain started to melt away.

How did it happen? What is pranic healing?

I need to do a write up on this soon. It has helped me in past too, in conditions of extreme discomfort and pain. I found that it brought immediate relief to me.

Pranic Healing is an ancient science and art of healing that utilizes prana or ki or life energy to heal the whole physical body. It also invloves the manipulation of ki and bioplasmic matter of the subject’s body.

It not only makes you­ aware of the aura aro­und the­ huma­n body -­ t­he ­’chakras’­ (energy centers) and their effects o­n our health, but also teaches us how to feel or scan the­ aura and determine which parts of the chakras may be affected. By learning about energy, we become more conscious about its ubiquitous presence.

I learned that by focusing on a specific area, or specific illness I was able to reduces it’s symptoms. Having faith in the healer and her therapy helped me concentrate and release the discomfort. Guess it is time to learn the art.

I have been doing healing myself but do not know what to call it. I have seen my son’s temperature go down, even distant healing had proved very beneficial but one needs to learn the correct method and maybe if my mind and body are receptive to the healing energies around me, I should learn to use them for friends and family.

Awareness, acceptance and loving oneself is the key to good health.
So the pain subsided and i found the reason. Maybe I was stressed and fatigued emotionally, mentally and physically and the more I though about it the more I suffered.

Time 10 o’clock in the morning.

The board results are finally out and Adi has done wonderfully as expected by him. The best gift to him is that the friend whom he was teaching and who had no chance of even clearing the boards got 62%. It made both the kids so proud of their hard work. I saw the happy smiling faces and said a little prayer.

It is a good thing to be humble and helpful. Adi has these qualities and it makes me feel good as a parent.

The party is due now for all the friends and Sunday seems a good day for it.

Here’s wishing them luck for the future.

Rock on guys !!!

The agony turned into ecstasy and the body in a state of lovingness, healed itself completely.

Life is beautiful once again and it is because I am beautiful within..

A NaBloPoMo post