My Mind needs a Vacation


Sometimes you feel the urgency to drop everything and run away to some unknown destination. Away from everything including your own self. Last few days have been like this. I questioned myself again AM I PSYCHIC ???? Why do I see spirits ?Why I get a sensation as if something or someone is trying to get in touch with me. Why my heart feels heavy on certain days for no reason. Love ;)??? Stress??? Work ???? I do not get any answers. I meditate on the thoughts and my fingers run on the keyboard faster than my thoughts and I churn out some out of the world creative pieces (really out of the world in every sense of the word).

I read what I have written and wonder who wrote this. I look at the sky and the world around me and feel the missing link …I search within and outside for answers but none come my way.

Moist eyes for no apparent reason and a cutting pain in the chest (I thought it was acidity and took an antacid. It did not work and tasted awful).

I ask again do I need to take a break. Or is it that I want to break free completely?

I go in a trance see a light or just go blank for some time. I feel calm yet restless. Is it a new turning point or a revelation of some kind.

Why the heck am I writing this post ?

I need a vacation .. My mind needs it …my soul wants to be released …my body wants to sleep ..eternal sleep …

I clear the shelves of my mind de-cluttering is one way of dealing with the unexplained.

I clear my PC which is more messy than my room, removed old mails, cards pictures. I wonder at times what kind of music I had been uploading. Deleted all the rotting stuff there.

Still I felt it was more a reactionary step than any thing else. I am still in the same position.

Looking for an answer. What the fuck hit me :0 Maybe an alien encounter … Must have been a woman ..a male would have definitely taken with him..

Sigh !!!!!!!!

Time for a break … need to gather my thoughts …. They seem to be floating away from me …further and further … hold on …gosh ! ..I need to run faster than my mind …need to catch up and hold the reins before it is too late …

see ya guys … wish me luck …

BTW THIS IS A SERIOUS SITUATION ..

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Reflections…..


It sure is a dull gloomy day today. There is a definite nip in the air and the wind is strong and chilly. The golden yellow leaves of the poplar tree are desperately clinging to the thin haggard branches. The crows are unusually noisy. The silence is uncanny. Everything is in anticipation of what is about to follow. The murky mist is enveloping everything including me. Seeping inside the very core of my being.

My thoughts are frozen. Frozen in time and space. Memories come to me like a blizzard of snow.

I decide to walk the lonely road.

The drama in the sky unfolds and the flash of lightning marks the brilliant opening. With the thunderous applause it begins to pour.

The trees stand with their heads bowed, their leaves cry ceaselessly
The wet sun struggles to release itself from behind the heavy cloud cover but fails miserably.

I let the tears cleanse my heart and soul but he ache remains. I feel a nagging pain around my temple. My eyes hurt. I close them in a total surrender to nature around me.

The heaviness in my breast continues to pull me down.

The spell is strong. I drift into a trance. The sleep takes over. The breathing becomes normal. The sounds of thunder and flashes of lightning cease.

There is a complete silence..

Nothing moves.

not even a single leaf.

Guess we are all drained by the events of the day.

Hair today gone tommorow


One can’t believe what a great short hair cut can do to your low spirited self.The effects are funtabulous.

I was getting restless with my look for some time now and was wondering what to do .The first thing which comes under knife ,in this case scissors,are my hair.I always had a love hate relationship with my hair.

From childhood my hair bore the burnt of my mood swings.I chopped off my hair the moment  I got pissed with someone or something .It was seldom for style in the beginning.

Once I entered my thirties I started looking out for hair styles and colors and by forty I had experimented so much that even I forget what did I look like some months back .

Since last few days or rather since I saw AeonFlux I was dying o get a short hair cut.It became a hot debate at home as the family discussed pros and cons of the change it would bring but I was adamant as always.I do get around to do things my way .We scanned the net for the trends and went looking for all the hot Hollywood gals to checkout what was in.

I needed the color too but thought to go with the good old henna this time.The henna streaked a few grays that I had and I decided to leave the color till later in the month.

An appointment with my favorite Schwarzkopf Hair Saloon hair stylist was fixed for today and the excitement was greater than I had expected .My elder one decided to give me moral support by going under the si along with me .

We decided to have our lunch out if the mission was a success.

I was greeted with a bright hello from the guys who are such awesome lot that the moment one steps in they hover around you like honey bees. Naveen ,my stylist ,is a cool chap with a pierced eyebrow and trendy hair style .I explained to him what I needed .A complete makeover .I needed to look absolutely different and warned him that if messed up no one will be responsible for the consequences.

The petrified chap showed us some trendy styles and we settled for a great look. The instruments came out on the side trolley.Combs of various shapes and sizes and the main styling scissors were nicely arranged. A cup of hot coffee was promptly served with a toothy smile by the helper boy.I smiled back at him.I always liked the guy because of his happy go lucky nature.

Naveen showed me the length and what kind of cut he was going for.I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of being pampered, my hair being shampooed, my scalp massaged, then the snip of scissors …I was almost lulled to sleep. I daydreamed of stepping out looking great with my new hairstyle, turning heads.

We happily chatted as he snip snip snipped I away at my hair and they fell to the floor.I was actually liking the new style as it emerged slowly.In the mirror I could see the approval in the eyes and smiles of those who knew me.A girl came up and told me that it was a good decision to snip off and short hair were in and rocking.

I glanced around at the strange people sitting around me .They all seemed to be engrossed in what was taking place on their head .A lady was continuously giving instructions and I could see the stylist was getting so bugged that for a moment it looked that he would cut her throat instead of her hair .

All the  three stylists wore aprons which had all kinds of pockets with all kind of clips and stuff hanging from them .Cutting hair was a top level mission and not some ordinary thing.

I was still dreaming in a relaxed half asleep state when I realised that the guy had shifted his attention to the front part now and was contemplating how to bring that much needed bounce.

I called in for emergency help.The owner ,a young dude with tattoos and a lot of piercing came to my rescue and quickly gave some instructions in a lingo only they could understand .Secret codes I thought and left it to them to do what they pleased.

One thing I was absolutely sure of ,if he wanted to live he won’t mess up.

The scissors started snipping the hair from above the forehead and the effect was making me dizzy with delight .I finally felt human .The look was great and I smiled to show my approval.The guy breathed with relief.

Finally the time had come to inspect and I was beaming from ear to ear.The mirror was tilted in all directions to show how I looked from various angles and wow man the style rocked .

tHE NEW ME

side look

I tipped the guy more than I should and got a stern comment from my boy to behave .

It created a big crater in my wallet but what the heck it was worth all the money .

So now in fifteen days it will time to color them a rich burgundy and am sure it’s gonna rock .