Spooky winter morning….

Winter is my favorite season of the year  and winter in Delhi is special .


The fog comes

on little cat feet.

It sits looking

over harbor and city

on silent haunches

and then moves on.

Carl Sandberg

Today again I woke up to a dense foggy morn .The chill in the air at six in the morn cut through the bones and all I could see outside was ghostly trees enveloped in early morn fog.It seemed a scene out of some spooky scary movie.Something I love more than anything else.My mind raced as different story plots  emerged from my natural surroundings.

I decided to brave the weather and go for my usual morning walk .By six thirty ,I was out on the cold dark road .The dogs were cuddled under the staircases of different blocks ,sleeping to glory.I could not spot a single bird ,not even pigeons ,who are normally huddled together on window sills .

It sure seemed like a bad idea to go forward ,as the visibility was nil and my nose seemed like a dripping ice cube .

The long straight road that leads to the big park called Vasant Vatika was luring me and I started to imagine myself as part of the  Sleepy Hollow story.A light dew shower fell on me as I walked under the heavy drooping trees along side the road .

The wet misty vehicles parked on the sides emerged slowly as I neared them .The windows streaked with dripping dew ..I imagined I saw something move inside one of them and peered closely .

Yes ,there was a young man inside the dark car,wearing a jogging suit,rubbing his hand to keep the cold at bay .He gave me a strange look ,thinking I may be bonkers to roam around on such a day.I decided to brighten up his day by passing a smile which was neither reciprocated nor appreciated . Damn him , I thought and moved ahead .

Nothing stirred and there was a complete eerie  silence everywhere . I had almost reached the gates of the park which I imagine to be the entrance to some long forgotten cemetery .The park seemed empty except a few stray dogs and the watchman warming himself with last of what would have been a nice fire sometime back .

I asked him if it was alright  to go into the park and he replied that there were quite a few regulars there .I was surprised because all I could see was shadows of tree tops  lurking in the white thick fog .

The gate was icy cold and wet to touch.I went in and took the nearest track.Any other person would have got chill up their spine but not Me 🙂 ,I was thoroughly enjoying this creepy adventure of mine . The visibility was still low but I could make out some more people in various parts of the park .

So I was not alone . I smiled to myself ,not that I would have minded being alone in such a lovely scenario .I inhaled the fresh morn air , stretched my arms and started my brisk walk .

The regular joggers were missing .Maybe it was too much of an effort for them to step out in cold and dark .Only creatures like me ventured to take on the challenges of the dark .

I started  turning the nature around me into characters of my sneaky spine chilling mysteries of  the unexplained.It was fun and kept me warmed up.

Then I heard the footsteps behind me .Slow and rhythmic.I turned around to see who it  was  but  as far as my eyes could see, the track appeared empty.

Was my imagination running a bit too wild ?? I  kept walking at a steady pace.My ears now glued to the ground And then I heard them again They seemed very close but still not a sign of anyone .The fog was still thick or maybe I should have got my glasses . May be anther jogger ,but why was he/she stopping when I turned ?? The question now started bothering me .

I decided to take a middle path instead of the full round when I felt the hand on my shoulder . My heart missed a beat for a fraction of a second.However I may love the macabre , chilling , ghost stories , I was not ready for this one for sure . Slowly I turned , my face must have been the color of snow,because the person I faced, went into a hysterical laughter .

I gathered my senses and stared at my friend and neighbor with anger rising like a volcano inside me .

“W T F”, I screamed at him as he wiped his eyes laughing and talking at the same time .

“Well ! well! look at you ,The Queen of Dark .hahahahahhaa “.”You look like a dead woman walkin’.”

“You son of a gun ,you scared the s*** out of me man “. I said punching him square on his chest .

“Oh! I am sorry but the moment I saw you all absorbed in the thoughts, I was so tempted to see your reaction.”He smiled as he put an arm around me .

“Christ ! I thought someone just stepped out of my story and started following me “I said.


“Oh ,come on girl I will treat you to a hot roadside tea ,you sure need one ”

I hated this man but gave a smile instead .A hot cup was sure the need of the hour , though I would have preferred something stronger.

We completed the routine and walked till the end of the road where the business had just started .A few people were already digging into salted fans(crispies) and sipping  hot sweet tea.We ordered two and parked ourselves on the pavement nearby .

Some morning it was .I checked the time ,it was around seven thirty.After our cuppa we strolled down the lanes till our block .I thanked him for the tea and we decided to go together the next day .Just as I closed my main door I shouted to him

“Hey buddy !Thanks for makin’ my creepy morn come alive .”He waved and said “you still rock girl ,any other girl would have fainted on seeing the man inside a wet, foggy, parked car. ”

“What”??? I be damned .

He winked and closed the door .

Bhed (discrimination)

“The children are starving since last two days .Please get something to eat from somewhere.” “I can not see them suffering.”

“I am trying dear, morning till evening I try to get something that can sustain our children .Even I can not see the family going hungry each day.”

“Why don’t you try the MCD garbage dump?” “Maybe you may find some leftovers there.”

“Absolutely out of question, that place stinks and the entire colony throw its garbage there, it’s such a bad place, I won’t go there.”

“Please this one time,” she said with her eyes welling.

“Oh! Alright I will go.” He turned and hurried towards the garbage dump at the end of the long road.

It was cold, foggy and there was no sigh of sun.

She waited impatiently. Her children cuddled close to her. She looked fondly at all of them .They sure will have food today.

Hours passed and she started getting worried .Her eyes fixed on the road. She could hardly see beyond the nearest tree, but then she saw him running toward their home .He held something in his mouth.

The children gathered around her full of hope.

He dropped what looked like a loaf of meat, in front of her. Trying to catch his breath, he sat on the ground.

“What is this?” she started inspecting the thing lying in front of her.

“Oh God! This is a newborn human girl child.

Their eyes widened at the sight of the dead female infant.

“Are you sure”?

“Yes, I am”. “Someone who did not want a girl child dumped her in the garbage dump.”

“How heartless and cruel these humans are .Thank God we don’t discriminate between our children.”She said licking the nearest one fondly.

The puppy, happy at the sight of food and love, wagged its tiny tail.

“Let’s have our meal quickly, it is question of our survival”, he said.

No one moved.

The thought bodies

We all have thought bodies and in those thought bodies are spaces .Spaces in which two souls connect with each other .Be it humans or any other thing, living or non living .I feel everything is alive, breathing with exuberance of life .Even the rocks, hard from outside, have a space with in where you can touch and feel their pulse. One can only find these spaces, if one is silent from within. Most of us are unable to do so because we all talk so much even inwardly .we are hardly quite .

I talk to birds, animals, flowers, pebbles everything around me and they respond, in silence.One just has to connect with the energies around oneself.

Nature is our best friend, giving unconditionally all the time, and the more you reciprocate, the more you find the depth of love and warmth seeping inside you through all that exist around you. You just have to be open and receptive to all the good and abundance the universe has to offer.

The sickle moon, the wild plant that cracks the sidewalk to open up n bloom, the trees which become homes for so many birds even when dry and in full bloom they give shade to one and all irrespective of who and why, they all have spaces which call you and if you are receptive, you can enter those spaces and become one with them?It happens with humans too ,with unseen unknown people .It has happened with me .

Nature heals; it helps you find answers .Sitting in silence, emptying oneself of all the thoughts helps me at least to see reason.

As humans, what do we learn from what’s around us?

Most of the time, Nothing at all.

Unwilling to let go, we want to hold on, to possess, and to own. We can’t share, can’t love, and can’t let the other person be a separate identity than our own reflection. We want to mould. We feel jealous, hurt, let down, so full of negative emotions, assumptions that we lose more than we gained. Many people I talk to say ,kiddo these are human emotions ,we are all humans ,or some go further and say that they have risen above all this and do not give a hoot .They claimto be complete in themselves .I wonder if they really are ?I wonder if any of those are right observations .

We are scared, scared of being alone. We can not live with our own self, we become lonely .If we do not have any living person or thing to hold on to, we hold on to the memories .We need crutches. Each one of us, including me.

However I try to stand still, the butterfly does not come and sit on my shoulder. Why? I ask myself. Because, though my body remains still, am not calm from within, the stillness is missing from inside .The urge is strong and it keeps the butterfly away .One needs to be still from within.

Can we change from within to become for once in life, unconditional in our approach to life as humans and justify our existence on earth? May be yes .And that’s precisely I am trying to learn. It is difficult in many spears of life for taming the mind is exceptionally tough task, and it is our mind, the devious little thing, not the heart, mind you, that dictates and lures us into the realms unknown .Coaxing us to take some action which many a times our heart resents .

I am learning to listen to my heart strings once more.

To still myself and connect to the child within .

To bring out the innocence and purity of a child’s love ,the curiosity and the inquisitiveness and total surrender to the cosmic energies around me .

Building Faith within.

I feel that as long as we do not tie ourselves in knots with anything that touches our lives we can coexist beautifully with it, be it love, memories, nature, anything .I trust my inner voice and know that it guides me in the right direction, though it may not be the one taken by all .To walk alone and walk with conviction is right as far as I am concerned.

To dream, irrespective of the fact whether they realize or not, is to live.

To love unconditionally irrespective of any reciprocation, is true love.

To place oneself a step below and open oneself to life is living fully.

To be able to gather small bundles of joy that come your way instead of looking for the treasures that you do not even know exist ,is justifying your existence on earth .

To be able to smile in times of intense pain befriending it as one more lesson to learn is true learning.

To think of Death as a friend with whom you have to start a new adventure, is letting your soul, your spirit free .And you are free from within .untouched by fear .For it is the unknown, uncertainty that scares us .Living in now in this moment of joy is life

As they say

Defer not till tomorrow to be wise,

Tomorrow’s sun to you may never rise.