Behind Bars

A cocktail party inspired me to write a blog about some of the fantastic drinks which can be easily made at home .many of these are our own innovations or rather experimentation ,rest ,the usual mind blowing ones , a hit at every get together .

so here is a famous toast
Here’s to the men that we love
Here’s to the men that love us
But the men that we love ARE’NT the men that love us
So to hell with the men, here’s to us.

1. Brandy blazer

Add the following to an Old Fashioned glass –

two small (30ml) shots of cognac,

one sugar cube,

an orange twist and a lemon twist.

Flambe the mixture, stir well with a long bar spoon,

extinguish the flame and strain into a snifter glass.


3.Cape Codler

Pour in ice cubes with 8 small measures of Vodka.

pour in 300 ml cranberry juice.

a little lime juice.

Stir well.

place a lime wedge in the drink.


4.Leechee Oasis

Large Vodka
Dash of Litchee crush or to taste ( for those who need it a tad bit sweet )
lots of crushed ice



5.Long Island Iced Tea

1 part vodka
1 part tequila
1 part rum
1 part gin
1 part triple sec
1 1/2 parts sweet and sour mix
1 splash Coca-Cola
Mix ingredients together over ice in a glass. Pour into a shaker and give one brisk shake. Pour back into the glass and make sure there is a touch of fizz at the top. Garnish with lemon wedge .


2 oz vodka
5 oz orange juice

Put 3 ice cubes into a glass. Pour in vodka. Fill the glass with orange juice, stir, and serve.


7.Spicy Winters

Red wine – 1 bootle , Brandi—3tsp – Fresh orange juice -1litre Cinnamon – 2 sticks Cloves -8 Nutmeg powder – 1tsp Honey -3tsp Orange slices Pour wine into saucepan &warm gently , add brandy , orange juice,all above spices &honey, keep stirring until mixture gethot &honney melts. Add orange slices , turn down heat, simmeringslowly for 10-15 min.Serve immediately



orange juice-60ml.
cranberry juice-60ml
top them with soda or 7up



lime juice -30ml
dash of pine apple juice
shaken in blender with ice
gives best results
10.Planter’s punch (all time fav)tall whiskey glass

orange juice-120ml
pineapple juice-30ml
topped with dark rum
float the rum ..method- place the spoon so that the back of spoon is on top slowly por rum on that


11. Lipstick on your collar

orange juice-90ml
cranberry juice-50ml
top it with limca or seven up in a tall glass



peach schnapps-30ml
top with seven up


peach schnapps-30ml
vodka -40ml
3-4 cubes of ice (shaken)
take it in one shot


14.ROCKET FUEL…..shooter
dark rum-20ml
dash of lime
shaken with ice and taken at one shot.

shooters are great for parties .they save your drink consumption 😀


15.BAT Bite

11/4oz.Dark Rum
4oz.cranberry juice

combine in an ice cube filled highball glass .drop a lime wedge into the drink …enjoy d bite .


16.Baby Eskimo (Ritu’s pick)

2 oz kahlua coffee liquer
8 oz milk
2 scoops vanilla ice cream

Thaw ice cream a little, mix all the stuff with a wooden spoon
Serve in a tall slim glass


17.Lemonade slushie
1 part Malibu coconut rum
1 part frozen lemonade concentrate
1 part ice

Blend into slush.

18.Purple Passion

1 1/4oz vodka
6oz. grapejuice

pour vodka over ice cubes in a highball glas.fill with grape juice .stir.


19.Captain’s Tropical spiced Tea

1 1/4 Captain Morgan Spiced Rum
5oz iced Tea
1/2tsp lemon juice

combine all ingredients over ice in a highball glass .stir .garnish with lemon wedge.


20.Hawaiian Lemonade

1 1/4 vodka
4oz Lemonade
2oz pineapple juice

put everything in a shaker .shake well. .serve in a crushed ice filled collins .garnish with lemon wedge .

********** breezer

creme de ment-15ml

vodka -45ml
seven up

take a tall glass .fill it up with lots of ice .put creme de ment ,vodka n topup with chilled seven up…serve

22.Blow Job

* 3/4 oz. Irish Cream (Bailey’s)
* 3/4 oz. Kahlua
* Top with Whipped cream

Glass to Use
Shot glass
Mixing Instructions

Combine Kahlua and Bailey’s in a shot glass, and top with a puff of whipped cream. It must be shot without using your hands!



2oz-pineapple juice
1/20z.lime juice

shake with ice .strainover ice cubes in a goblet..garnish with lime wheel


Many more to come ..will keep on adding ….till then ..cheers ..Rock On


stop and watch .

When on some gilded cloud, or flower,

My gazing soul would dwell an hour,

And in those weaker glories spy

Some shadows of eternity

-Henry Vaughan

Sometimes the small little wondrous beauties of nature make our heart swell in awe of the creator …Early morning today as I went out for my Pranayam, I chanced upon a lovely sight .On the Poplar tree, with fresh new leaves  shining in the early sunshine ,were huddled together, a family of green pigeons ..Two small babies n mum. It was a sight I will cherish for a long time .She kept feeding the little ones beak to beak.a fluffy proud mom. It was a picture perfect family..Green pigeons are rare and hardly seen these day in Delhi .Mostly we find them camouflaged in thick light green foliage of huge trees in district parks here, so it was a very refreshing surprise for me.
Delhi is home for many such rare birds at this time of the year and we are fortunate to live in an area frequented by them..It’s a lovely day here and the place is full of mynas, squirrels, pigeons, parrots,Koels  and all kind of birds, unseen among the foliage but heard very clearly …
these are the joys of nature…

one does not have to go far or use special equipment to see the glories of nature .I have always enjoyed the little bundles of joy that the nature scatters all around us ..a ladybird sitting on a leaf ,a line of ants working day in n day out ,the changing colours of the sky ,a solitary Eagle soaring up in the sky , a delicate little flower growing from a crack in  rock or a sidewalk ,a drop of dew on fresh green leaves or on some vibrant flower petal ,a spider weaving a  web or a tiny bird building a pretty nest can go on for hours talking about these things ..

As a poet said

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
No time to turn at Beauty’s glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.
A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

William Henry Davies

Some time back a pair of sun birds made a lovely love nest in my balcony,on clothes line .One is filled with immense peace and joy just spending sometime looking closely at nature around us ..

These little wonders are also called   Honey Suckers …..The breeding male is black with high metallic sheen of green and purple .the bill is curved to probe into the corolla of the flowers for nectar, the female is greenish black and even smaller than the male .the nest is oblong hanging pouch ..made of soft grass ,rubbish ,cobwebs and many such things .normally there are3-4 grayish or greenish eggs with brown n white spots ..the pair started weaving the nest by 7 in the morning till about 6 in the evening …their wings vibrated rapidly while they hovered around the nest … was such a  beautiful feeling to be so close to nature and watch these architects at work .unfortunately ,even after constant vigil ,the eggs were eaten by some predator ,maybe a mangoes ,who are in abundance near my home .here are some pix that I took .

Dilli KI Sardi

Come October and there is that slight chill in the air …winter is just round the corner…

Evenings become shorter, nights, long and cooler. Fans run on number 2/3 and one feels good, wrapped in a light khes (warm sheet).

Mornings start at about 5:40 and the nip in the morning air is a great welcome as I step out for my morning walk.

I simply love dilli ki sardi (Delhi winter).I love bright colors, textures,

And most of all change .That’s the reason, that, despite of all the hassles and inconveniences, I love Delhi and its glorious change of seasons.

October is when Delhi starts its romance with winter .Dim sunlight, nip in the air, perfect for love to blossom .The temperatures soar oops dip. The winter rains spread the green carpet and the roses and other seasonal flowers fill the entire landscape of the capital, all through the five months of winter.

The parks and the roundabouts are a riot of colors .one can see every shade of every color in the flowers that adorn these lovely places.

It is the time when the famous Mughal Gardens of the Rashtrapati Bhawan (president’s house) also open for public.

The India Gate lawns are heaven on earth during warm winter days. Perfect place for picnics.

One can also take walks around old city and all the other historical sites in the capital .The fun never end.

This is also the migratory season. Lakes, water-bodies, parks and gardens are full of feathered visitors from abroad. The Okhla Barrage, the Delhi zoo are some places which are a heaven for bird lovers. It’s time to watch the Siberian Cranes make their nests and breed. White storks, black-necked storks, white ibises, spot-billed ducks and little cormorants are some of the other birds to look for. A drive to the nearby Sultanpur Bird Sanctuary is a perfect weekend getaway in winters.

And, it is not just the change in weather that makes us dilliwalas so fond of winter; there are other things as well.

I love the amazing choice I get in casual and formal wear. As the temperature dips, and fog starts to engulf the city, the lovely colorful quilts, blankets, shawls, muffler, caps, sweaters and jackets, leg warmers, fill the white canvas of the city.

I love winter wear and experiment every year, with a lot of bright colors. The fashion scene in Delhi winter is breathtakingly lovely.

Winter in Delhi can never be complete without FOOD.

The fruits and vegetable markets are a must visit places, in winter.

The markets are flooded with winter greens, and veggies of practically every shape n color .cooking become fun with such a wide variety. The healthy Amla, methi ka sag, sarson ka sag, peas, carrots, tender radishes, cauliflowers, baby corns, are some of my favorites. One can dish out amazing stuff with these good for health wonders. Bake, grill, make a broth, or simply cook them in any way you like. Winter is great time for fresh salads too.

I love fruits, and Delhi in winter, is a Mecca for fruit lovers .I love the delicious red apples and the golden ones, the custard apple is a special favorite, then there are guavas, ripe ber, oranges, tangerines, Water chestnut ,grapes, strawberries and a lot more .

The local popcorn, peanuts and shakarkandi (roasted sweet potato) vender is a welcome sight on cold winter days. my mouth waters just thinking about the dry fruits, gajak, rewari, till ki patti, gur (Jaggary molasses) and shakkar with oodles of hot ghee on top of a rich hot paratha. Some delights only winter can offer.

The sinful aroma of hot samosas, aloo tikkis, kachoris and other scrumptious street food delicacies are hot choice in winters.

Delhi’s Fairs and festival calendar starts from October and ends in February. Dushehra ,Deepawali, x-Mas ,Lohri, Baisakhi are some of the major festivals .Then there are Surajkund crafts Mela ,winter carnivals ,International Trade fair ,International Book Fair and many music festivals which add to the winter magic of the city . Phulwalon-ki-Sair or the Flower Sellers Procession, which originated in the 16th century is worth watching.

It is a joy to watch the fluffy Angora fog sitting on its haunches over the roof tops and then slowly enveloping the entire city.

A cup of hot chocolate, strong coffee or the good old tea, a nice book, warm cozy brilliantly colored quilt is all it takes to make a perfect winter day if you are at home.

And if out in the streets, you can do a lot to enjoy dilli ki sardi. Just let your imagination run wild…

Light a camp fire, start a Bar-B-Que, go on a long drive on a sunny winter day, or just take a walk in the nearby park letting the morning mist kiss your face.

Highway On My Plate



DHABA…… The very word is enough to make the mouth water.


A dhaba conjures up an image of a rustic eatery with a charpoy( cot made with woven ropes) and  platefuls of fresh scrumptious dishes which  scores of itinerant truck drivers  enjoy..

Traditionally Dhabas were made of mud structures and a wooden plank was placed across the width of the cot(charpai) to keep the dishes.

The dhabas with time have become more comfortable and cater to all kinds of people, who look out for low cost food with no overhead costs . There are no constraints, no dress codes or fine dining rules, one can lick the fingers and belch ,with no one objecting. It is basically a no frills eating joint  for the common man .


A dhaba can be a simple shack which sells two three dishes like dal (lentil), rice ,rotis(Indian bread) and a seasonal veggie ,or it can have a large menu which can consist of various cottage cheese preparations like Kadhai paneer ,matar panner ,shahi paneer ,Kadhi chawal  seasonal green vegies like sarson(mustard) ka sag and makki ki roti (in winter) ,scrambled egg or egg curry , butter chicken ,or kadhai chicken etc. One can sum up the Dhaba food in three words :Buttery, spicy and hot.


Almost all the dhabas, especially the highway Dhabas serve large glasses of lassi (sweet n salted), curds, onion slices and pickles which are part of all dhaba meals.

Most of the dhabas serve Panjabi cuisine, as the Dhaba culture has originated from Punjab.

The mouth-watering rich aroma rising from the cauldron full of boiling mah ki dal (black lentil), the freshly made hot rotis straight from the tandoor(clay oven), oodles of butter on stuffed parathas and strong Adrak wali 500 miles chai(strong ,sweet tea), malaidar lassi (thick creamy curds drink), and, if you are a non vegetation, then there is no end to what Dhabas can offer you .All this, combined with the Panjabi warmth of the owner, is enough to lure any hard core foodie to the roadside dhaba.


Eating out in a dhaba can be a heart-warming experience. Usually dotted along the highways, dhabas dole out hearty rustic fare. They are  India’s Mecca for food lovers, and equivalent to the British transport café. This place is the true example of national integration and cross cultural exchange.


To watch the sweet smiling person in a string vest, artistically churn out rotis from the tandoor with his bare hands, is a sight to enjoy.

 They make a great show working their trade, kneading and slapping fist sized balls of dough with pomp and flair, churning out dozens of flat chapatis(breads) in a blur of motion. In fact the whole process of dishing out food from the containers into the plates in remarkable .It just adds to your hunger and makes the wait impossible.


The moment the car hits the national highway, dhabas decorated with colourful signboards, lights, flags and mouth-watering specialties are the first sights one notices. . It’s an amazing glimpse into the world of entrepreneurs who have created a food cult with quality & hygiene.


The Dhabas on highways, generally have a small pan n cigarette shop nearby or a local liquor shop called Theka , selling chilled bear sometimes written as ‘child bear’. With huge signs all along the highway .That attracts a large number of  travellers and drivers .


On our various trips, we discovered some of the finest dhabas strategically located on G.T.Road. Most of the Dhaba’s have their secret recipes to attract customers. These dhabas may look rustic, but as far as the menu is concerned they are at par with any other multi-cuisine restaurant in the city. Though Tandoori and Punjabi menus are the hot favourites, they also serve Chinese dishes like noodles and chilli chicken.

Some of our favourite stopping joints are Puran ka dhaba near Ambala cant. A must stop for all who love their food.

There is one on way to Mandi, which takes pride in having catered to the likes of Bollywood  actor Salman Khan and some film unit members. They even have pictures and autograph comment book to prove it .The food is excellent and the ambience very good. It is worth a stop.

There are many others on way to Shimla, Mussourie and Manali.


On our  way to Ranikhet , we discovered Amritsariya dhaba .What made this place special was, the location .Just ahead of Rudrapur, comes a green and not so congested Bilaspur and this dhaba is in the very beginning .Owned by an old sardarji, the place is dotted with plastic chairs, wooden tables, a tube well and a hand pump which doles out chilled clean water at all times. Surrounded by paddy fields this place is one of our favourite places.

The old man is a perfect example of Indian hospitality and friendliness .The staff, very efficient and clean.

As our visit became regular, the old man became a part of our family, he would ask for our wellbeing and, about my elder one, who was studding in a residential school, way up in Ranikhet .He would always wrap up some parathas for us in nice packs with pickles and, never charge for them. They were a part of his blessings for the kid and our safe journey. He even shared the magic masala of his delicious pepper chicken, with me and packed a generous amount, in a small plastic bag for us along with the recipe. Now that our visits have become rare, we recommend all our friends going that way, to stop there and darji always remember us fondly.


Murthal is a Mecca for Dhabas lovers .located on NH-1 near Sonepat; this place has a vast variety of delicious food. People especially go to eat food there during weekends.

The city Dhabas are not as colourful as the highway ones and each one has its own specialty. Most of the Dhaba workers stay, in and around the joint, so they are able to keep up with the odd working hours. Many of them are open from early morning till very late in the night.


In Delhi also we have some of the best known dhabas like, Kake ka dhaba in Chandni Chawk. The owner Mr. Lovely Singh is a foodie himself and has tremendous knowledge about the stuff .He has gone for a number of food fests in India and abroad.


Rajender da dhaba in Safdarjang Enclave is one of my favourites. If looking for great food in the middle of the night; this place is where one should go.

The Delhi – Gurgaon border and the Kapashera border are also two great places for authentic dhaba food .Most of the places are open throughout the night and a hub for all the young people working late nights.


 Dhabas have undergone a makeover and the complexion of the clientele has also changed. It is no longer a roadside pit stop where truckers can fill their tummies.

One can see the hep call center and BPO crowd and the night revellers frequenting these places very often.

 Unfortunately most of these eating joints have lost their charm of traditional dhabas and have become a roadside restaurant for the youth. Gone are the fried parathas , there place has been taken by tandoori parathas .

The new health conscious generation prefers fat-free food and dhabas which were never known for this variety of food are now giving in to the whims of customers. The young new owners want their swanky young “always in a hurry young customers” to be happy , and, gladly serve, anything from chowmein and chilly cheese to fruit juices, coke etc .These hybrid dhabas have mushroomed all over the city. Even the highway dhabas have become modern in more than one ways .Some of them have mobile charging facilities ,A small T.V. set or a S.T.D. calling facility .Some have small but clean restrooms to attract more travellers .

 People travel short distances from Delhi just to eat at their favourite highway dhaba.

WE often drive down to moolchand’s paranthewala or the Jain’s dhaba in Connaught Place for a late night binge.


A few friends, winter nights, dhaba food, a  lot of laughter and chit chat and the warmth and joy of being together …..



There are some things that money can’t buy.

Let Me Rant …….

 Yesterday was a day which should go down in the history of my life as a Black Day . A day when it seems that the entire universe is conspiring against you .when unusual number of bad things happen .

Boy!! the day started on wrong foot I guess .

I felt tired, cranky, down right grumpy.

I was in one of my “do not mess with me ” moods and that made things even worse for me and for those who came anywhere near me even the workers .

And to top it all ,my 17year old boy decided to argue on some issue which we both knew will add fuel to the already raging fire within .

Gosh ! How do these kids behave !!1. Unbelievable . Ungrateful buggers …

I often feel raising two teenage boys is experiencing Hell on earth .The cute bundles of joy sometimes turn into dementors ,sucking the soul out of your body .Yesterday was such a day .

Was I being overtly critical and over reacting to little things ???    Absolutely not .

Thought a cup of strong Black coffee will make some difference but found the bottle almost empty .

I hit the roof   …

By the evening  I felt spent . I had done my share of yelling ,accusing,criticising ,everything that was against my inherent nature  and now came the time to wallow in self pity .

Trying to hold back the tears swelling up in my lovely eyes , I went into a soliloquy .

Now when I think of it ,it looks like the best theatrical performance I must have given .

words like ..inadequate mom ,looser to the core ,life sucks ,enough is enough blended with the choicest of cuss words , came easily to a person who is normally just the opposite to this .

The water had really gone over my head .

But , at that time, I was completely pissed off and needed to let the steam off .

The amazing thing is that during such times the entire past opens in front of you like a slide show and you remember all the hurt and pain and every wrong done to you knowingly or unknowingly .Even the ones you made up yourself .

I guess the deadly PMS virus had stuck me resulting in my grouchy mood swings lately.The monthly blood donation got a bit too much to handle  ..that’s one donation I  HATE .

Slowly I slipped into silent mode and heated all the leftovers made some rice and after making myself a huge mug of camomile tea ,locked myself from the world .

Today is a happy day .

Life goes on ……

I want to break free ..

Time :5 in the morning ..

 I try to locate the vibrating mobile somewhere under my pile of pillows .Manage to find it and switch the darn thing off ..Though I would  love to snooze for a while but the luck is not on my side today .. dragging myself out from the comfort of my bed , I look around my once neat n cozy home ,which resembles an ancient  ruin these days .

 Bricks, bottles ,boxes ,ladder ,all kinds of construction material and an eye sore of a platform staring  back at me from the window of the kid’s room.

I notice that the night breeze has settled  another fine layer of dust over everything …Sigh !!!! 😦

I have been eating more dust than food these days I feel . 😦

Taking my tea , I step out carefully, in the remains of what used to be a balcony and stand looking at the refreshing green of the swaying Neem tree ..It is breezy n nice .There is a slight nip in the air .. and I take a deep breath .The fragrance of roses , fill my entire being and I feel blessed .I smile at the little beauties and thank the universe for these little bundles of joy .The sky is turning into a shade of pink behind the matchbox like buildings and it feels great . My morning  friends are around, busy with their stuff .

The group of around  eight squirrels are scurrying  around gathering the bits n pieces of the leftover  bread someone has thrown .It is  a joy to watch these furry wonders and their gymnastics  ..  🙂

The pigeons ,mynas and other birds have gathered, to a feast of bajra and water at the edge of the park . The noise they all make is deafening but somehow today it doesn’t bother me much . At Least it is better than the thak thak that goes on all day at my place .

Thinking of that , I realise that  the workers are due by 10 and I have a lot to do .

Unwillingly, I walk back in and wonder from where I should start .The house is uncannily silent .I decide to setup a good working environment and put on the radio at a little higher than usual  volume .It blares the latest Himesh Reshmya song and  I curse under my breath at the choice of Radio Mirchi . Certainly not a good way to start but anyways .. 😦 

I begin  the cleaning routine, knowing it is a waste of time n energy ,as within no time the things will be back to square one.But the habit to clean n scrub is a little difficult to let go ..Am I getting obsessed with “wash ’em clean ” thing ???..   Guess I am  😦

By the time I am through, it is around 9:30 and a quick look in the mirror tells me  that it’s time for a  bath,before the door bell starts ringing .15 minutes and I am out ,fresh and ready for another challenging day .

This is the 5th day since the work started and I feel as if  I am also a part of the Thekedar’s gang .At least by the end of the day my face n clothes looks exactly like them .And I am sure, I work as much as they do .

I wonder what will happen when I start building my dream home ..Did I tell you about it ?? …  NO….well ! maybe I should .Later .

Just now my mind is filled with just one thought “God ,give these men more strength to finish the work as soon as possible “.


When I started my journey into the virtual world, I had no idea how addictive it was going to be. At first it was limited to just simple emailing ,then the whole new world of e-cards opened up and as I explored the endless possibilities of the internet ,I  simply kept getting more n more  entangled into the web .

Slowly I discovered chat sites, social networking sites, and the tremendous desire to have more n more gripped me.I couldn’t stay away from the computer .I realized at that time that I was completely powerless in front of the magical web.

Whatever spare time that we used to spend meeting old pals, reading books, playing family games, going out to parks and various other places, including just simply walking down to the library or a theater, took a backseat. Making beautiful birthday greeting, anniversary cards seemed like a thing of past as the entire collection of what you wanted was available at a click.

A call from an old friend ,made me realize ,I had not spoken to her in ages ,not even remembered her birthday because she unfortunately was not it my computer birthday reminder list .

Is it a mental need or a want to be accepted in the new world known as the internet?  To escape the sometimes cold realities that surrounds us on a daily basis? We feel inclined to share our feelings with thousands of people we don’t know, and drift away from those we’ve known all our lives.


Sad 😦 , but true. Made me feel guilty, but then the craving to write a blog about it brought me back to the good old PC .The day I demanded that I needed a laptop I was rebuked in chorus by all the elders.

“You will then hang it around your neck and cook with one hand and chat with other”, was my hubby’s remark.

So a laptop became a complete NO NO.


I love my computer because I have all my friends in it … So true …  🙂


Then came the worse part


As if Orkut , Facebook ,Hi5 were not enough, the blogging bug also bit me and the in curable  itch to write that it caused, was too much for the family to handle .


One day after spending an entire day online I was forced to call me quits .cursing under my breath, I slumped myself in the bed ,dreaming of what to do next and where .. When, a kick on my butt made me jump. 😦

“What the F**k   !!!!!,” I shouted in half awakened  state .

“You crazy or what,”yelled my hubby,”you think my hand is F***ing   key board?” “You wanna go back to your bloody computer, GO .Let me sleep in peace for God’s sake “.

I looked at the man apologetically .Muttering a quick sorry I realized it was time to take a break from the virtual world.


So ,first thing in the morn at 6 O’clock ,I, along with my freshly made green tea, parked myself in front of the comp ,to send scraps to all ,saying ,I will be away for a while .

On opening my mail account I found game, scraps, blog comments

Notifications smiling at me, and I started to open them one by one.


By the time I was through, my remaining half cup of tea had become cold; I was past breakfast time and missed my morning exercise routine.










I am too sexy for my ….

Day ..Sunday October 12….time …2:30PM

Kid 1 had a worried look on his face .Something was bothering this young man.He had been in and out of the room twenty times ,sometimes stopping to examine his reflection in the mirror in a very critical manner .I looked up from my Ghost Stories and asked Kid 2 what was biting his elder bro .

He shrugged and showed no desire to speak any further,but when he saw that I would not budge without an answer ,he said with a bored expression ,”School reopens tomorrow .”

I did not get it . “so?  I asked .

HE was exasperated .”Mom ,YOU ARE SO DUMB AT TIMES ..SCHOOL REOPENS TOMORROW …School =Girls .. there must be something wrong and that’s why he is bugged ,Big deal .Don’t worry “.And with that he buried himself back into his book .

I couldn’t resist myself .

“Maybe you should go for a hair cut today , ” I said to Kid 1,as he walked into the room.

“Hmmm..I know ,will go in a while “. “Dad can take you when he goes for work “I offered .”NO WAY “He suddenly came into action ..”Mom ,I don’t wanna go with him ,he always goes to that f###kng TOUCH N FEEL” .

Kid 2 fell off the bed, laughing .

Kid 1 looked pained ..I assured  him and requested my hubby to take him somewhere he wanted . After a little argument about how low the pant should be , they went and I confronted the younger one ,”Now tell me what’s this all about ?,I demanded .

After some persuasion and a little bribe ,I knew the reason .

An hour later Kid 1 was back looking more civilised than he ever looked in his whole life .Hair trimmed short ,nice clean shave and a glowing face .      But he was still brooding .

I looked lovingly at my first born . At 17 he looked just great .

I remarked casually ,”you look kinda tanned Adi ,how about putting a face mask or something ,that will cut some of the tan and maybe help heal that pimple “.

Am sure he did not expect this.


“you can use the face mask” I said .

“So ,you too noticed “, He remarked .

Within minutes he was gone and I could hear the cabinet door open n close ..

“Beauty queen ” 

Said Kid 2 with disgust .”I don’t know why he is so into impressing girls .Mad .”

At13 Kid 2 also had a lot of girls drooling over him .I smiled ,He was cute and had lovely dimples .

But unlike his elder ,he was not obssesed with beauty regime and looks ,clothes etc .

He had that I AM COOL air around him .

“Wait till you are his age,buddy,” I thought .

I found Kid 1 spread over the bed ,eyes closed ,his arms ,face neck ,sh older all covered with the fragrant sandelwood mask .

He opened his eyes and gave a dimpled smile .I smiled back .

One hour later ,all fresh after a bath, he emerged with styled hair and ,low waist denims and his black tee.

There was a glow of happiness on his face .

I remembered the time he was a small cuddly baby  and now ,a smart teenager .No wonder he has such a lovely GF .How time flies growup and before you know they have their own little world .

Life at forty Rocks !!!

“One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young”


Dorothy Fisher.



For many people especially women , turning forty is a difficult time, a dead man’s curve on the road from youth to old age but I will always feel that you may not FEEL  young AT FORTY  but u can remain youthful…..youthfulness is eternal..

 For me it was a whole new beginning of an adventure as I started to discover the joy life held in its treasure trove .I began to explore, reinvent and accept myself.

I felt that now was the time to live for oneself, with children all grownup and able to look after themselves, I could spend more time in doing things I wanted to do and the way I wanted to do .

 Suddenly there was a tremendous desire to LIVE fully, completely.

I realized that as I grew older my kids did too and there they were young handsome boys towering over me ,my friends ,with whom I started to form a very special bond  of friendship .

At forty I found my voice too. I don’t look like I’m getting older. Why the hell does everyone else? In fact I feel I look sexy and stylish now in more that one ways and get noticed and admired, than before. Those few strands of grey hair, which I thought would be the ultimate nightmare, gave me a kind of graceful look and of course an opportunity to experiment with colors from burgundy to deep brown and various others. Apart from some health issues life simply rocks at forty .

 I feel way younger at 40 than I thought I would and at the same time I finally feel like a real adult.


As a friend who has known me over the last 20yrs said, ‘Tiku was a pinnanoire grape then and now she is a matured vintage wine. Amazing texture, aroma, flavor and taste for life.” It really thrilled me



I wont say turning forty  made me  more mature ,wise and mellow but it certainly added more charm to my plain Jane routine mundane life .

I keep the child me alive n kicking, still love to climb trees, play pranks, fight for the chocolate bar and much more but the childishness is gone.

 I found that all those years before this point I just lived playing a role .either of a mother ,sister ,daughter ,wife ,lover  but now I could connect with my true self ..The real ME .and do what SHE wanted to do.

 This time in life also provided a great opportunity to catch up with activities and interests that I had put aside for many years. And that makes for a whole new world!!


Age is reflected in attitudes. A 25 yr old “older” than many 60 yr olds!



I became tech savvy almost around this time and that brought a revolution in my life. It may sound funny but for a woman living a life behind the closed doors, it was a passage to freedom, to fly in the fast sky which held tremendous scope for her. It expanded my horizons .Meeting different people, joining different groups online interactions helped me get over some preconceived ideas and preconceptions about people. It was a new learning process.

I was also the star of my blogging itch .before this I wrote for my own pleasure and many a times thoughts and ideas, just kept floating inside my mind struggling to fin a small open space to come out n breath but with blogging, a whole new world opened in front of me .For that I am thankful to two wonderful women friends of mine Aparna and Ritu .Two women whom I befriended online on a social networking site and formed an instant bond .I owe a lot to you girls. Thank You so much for helping me find my lost self.


I am encountering many great things about being older and looking at life from a more emotionally mature perspective.I have far better friends at 40 than I did at 20 or 30, and I value them more than I did then as well. I have been able to focus on the wonderful friends I have. Friends, who were living in some corner of the world and were just names for me, till they became an essential part of my being .I met them online and slowly formed a bond that joined our heartstrings .some of them I met others are still on SMS, calls, chats and emails but I never felt the physical distance .Each one of them enriched my life in some special way, bringing in a lot of joy n love.


In Rabindranath Tagore’s words,” Depth of friendship does not depend on length of acquaintance”.

 Today, both my shyness and diffidence have reduced substantially, my self confidence has increased, which amazes me too and I know my negative and positive traits inside out. Am better equipped to deal with situations than before and take the correct decision when needed. I listen to my inner and do what my heart feel right .I was never the one for social moralities

They made me befriend myself once again and that mattered. I am thankful for my circle of amazing friends. . I feel incredibly blessed.

One of the most satisfying things that happened to me is, finally gaining the ability to de-clutter my relationships. I have been able to get to a point in which I have learned to distinguish friendships that drag me down emotionally and I am able to check myself before they cast their dark shadows over me. Have decided to set my boundaries and stick to them.


I feel at forty plus I am still young enough to learn a few new tricks and old enough to have experienced almost everything.


As someone said


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


And I, for one, am enjoying lot more such moments every day. I turned forty one yesterday and last one year has been the most memorable one for me.


Avery special thank you hug to some of my amazing online   friends ….. Sujatha .Jayshree, Ritu (I feel like writing a separate blog post for her), Arun and Sita.

There are some very special people who also need to be mentioned Amit and Neeti (my God Parents)

A few others are part of me in a very personal way. And will always remain so.




Mission Impossble : Project Declutter

I call this time of the year as “annual cleaning festival”. with the start of Navratra the backbreaking spring cleaning begins .The maid wants extra money  for extending her help, the  kids need incentives as a compensation for parting with all the muck they have been collecting as treasures all through the year. Hubby says he will help but little time.

Apart from the major projects like white wash, paint job, renovations and heavy duty purchasing, there is a constant flow of very trying and tiring ones like cleaning of cupboard, shelves, kitchen, and the infamous place in the house. The kid’s room.

 Every year I find that we have accumulated zillions of things which we need to discard during diwali.

Clothes, toys, crockery and a whole lot of jing bang. For those lucky ones who have got a man Friday to do it  all ,it is not so exasperating but for those of us who believe in “no one can do it better than me “,it’s a time for  back breaking drudgery .


The house suddenly looks like a garbage dump and all the things seem covered with eternal dirt, there are toys everywhere, school papers everywhere, dirty laundry everywhere. Then there are fans, windows, grills, counters and whole lot of stuff all over the house screaming to be cleaned. The whole place simple sucks, and one wants to postpone the whole bloody thing till next year, but   watching the neighbor’s sparkling vacuumed cleaned house makes you say, “What the f@#* ” ,and you pick up the mop and the duster and the broom and go for it .

This year, as a change, I decided to make it into a military operation .Over dinner, I announced, to the disgust of all three men, that next few days will be spring cleaning days. After some curses and a lot of arguments, the meeting was adjourned .every one had something to do and a time limit.

Day 1

The morning came too early as I kicked them out of the bed and after a great breakfast, told them to get on with their work.

Fuming from inside, they took off and I decided to do the lighter stuff.

The cobwebs which till now seemed like a nature’s work of art seemed like eye sores. The entire nick knacks that I thought will be useful one day went into the dust bin .The cards, letters and crumpled noted made their way into the bon fire.

It’s true what some one said that.”A tidy desk is a sign of cluttered drawers”.

Diwali is a great time to find misplaced things.

 As I emptied out the contents of the shelves and drawers, I came upon many long lost things including kajal stick, eye liner, pens, and some very important documents, which to your knowledge; you kept, “safely”. In my case I also found some neatly folded and secretly tucked away test papers n small love notes which only a thorough spring cleaning could have unearthed .This time I got lucky with some tucked away teners finding their way to my pocket.

Tempers ran high as each one blamed other for the accumulation of unwanted stuff. I decided that it was time for the trump card to be thrown. It was already past noon.

“I am off kitchen duty today n day after “.


“What????” came a reply in chorus.

I merely raised my eyebrow and continued to clean .some more abuses and muttering and then it was quit again .The food got ordered.

At night most of the house dazzling .the two major problem areas remained untouched. Kitchen and the boys room.

I needed a stiff drink.


Day 2

Kitchen is another place which goes under heavy scrubbing n washing during this time .From cabinets to exhaust fan and from kitchen slab to sink every thing is vigorously cleaned .The worst part is the spraying of the cockroach killing spray  and as the men seem to be allergic to it  becomes my duty to execute the killings .The morning after is a sight to behold .hundreds of corpses fill the floor of the kitchen and you may also find some who are gasping for life .As your broom hits them and takes the remaining life out of them ,the Herculean task ahead makes you feel sick .

 I decided to give some extra incentive to my lovely maid and get it cleaned, after a lot of cajoling she agreed and collected all the corpses in a poly bag tied it securely and to my utmost relief, threw it in the bin.

With a hundred rupee note tucked neatly in her blouse, she worked at an amazing speed .we were through by afternoon.


The shout “clean your fu#@^* room pronto “…made the boys, go mad. That was one thing they hated .They considered it a sin to have a “morgue like” room. I really needed to get after them, to even initiate the task .After a whole lot of shouting matches and arguments things started to move at snails pace and after a while it resembled an earth quake hit area. The best thing to do was (which I learned with time and experience) to promise some incentive and stay clear .It mostly works unless you can’t curb the desire to butt in and comment. Then the things go really out of hand and nothing works .leaving you to finish the task yourself.

It didn’t seem to work this time though as the boyz were no longer small babies whom I cud push around, they were young adults and very nasty.


I too didn’t give up, under my strict supervision, and a threat to ground them completely, hanging on their head; the poor chaps turned the room into a human dwelling again.

 I made it clear that if the house did not remain like that till Diwali, the process will start all over again.

Whether they got the point, remains to be seen.