They shared a quick hug and a parting kiss
under the dim wintry light
just before the last night train
pulled out of the wind-swept platform
and then
in a flash of a moment
the explosion bathed
the inky Bengal sky in
flaming orange and yellow
time enough to lock
the agony and fear
on the face of his beloved
in his eyes
I wish I could
write a poem for you
a poem that paints my dreams
dreams that tell our story
each word a picture
a visual collage
of love and lust
pain and longing
hurt and anger
distance and closeness
meeting and parting
iconography.
I wish I could
write a poem for you
but
words shrugged their shoulders
and walked away
just like that
and I was left
staring at them
I beseeched them to stay
like I did with you
I did
Estranged words
if only I could catch them
thousands of words
some said some unsaid.
Now I stare at the empty screen
( strange that I should say empty screen instead of empty paper. How much has changed since then .)
My fingers caress
the smooth surface of the keys
my ears
long to hear that delicious clicking sound
Nothing.
The fog doesn’t lift
I push myself and strain
to see the fog veiled vision
a form
vague and abstract
I close my eyes and zone out
The poison flows through the eyes
leaving black streaks on my cheeks
better to flow out than stay within and burn the very essence of my being
my error of judgement, my follies , my fall
all clear now
There is a deafening, demeaning silence in the heart
that I try to figure out
and draw a blank
vexed with my myself
I leave the unfinished, untitled poem
in the drafts
For the last time
just before we parted
wrapped in silence
I sit across the table
dewy eyes, head bowed
mourning the love
he had slowly killed
averting his gaze
there at our favorite joint
I eat my dreams,
promises, hopes and desires
Words turn stranger
as a surge of memories
the bitter hot coffee
scalds my tongue
I struggle to cope
with the ending
so ruthlessly imposed on me
Everything was beautiful untill
the darkness of familiarity and ego
began to cast their shadows
Each time I looked at him
I saw myself
through him I began to understand life
He gave meaning to my identity
I was more of me when with him
than with myself
I found and lost myself in him
and never found again
and then
I lost him
Now
sitting under the cold, wet, bruised sky
I wonder
did I lose because he was he
or because
I was I ?
Vote on Indivine Here
Like a phoenix I rise
from the ashes of my dreams
my healing tears silently fall
taking away the pain and hurt
a calmness seeps inside me
like the first summer shower,
I am cleansed and refreshed.
The memories of the lost love
linger in my heart
like a soulful melody
I forgive myself and you
for the mistakes we made
I free us completely
from the unseen chains that
strangled us
It is a new beginning
for a new me
and for you my love
to win some other heart
