You And Me – Pause


Suddenly, I don’t know what to say. I do know what I want to say but when the moment comes to speak, I can’t say it or even write it. And yet…

It is that time of the year again when the memory of the days and nights when I knew who I was often come back to me floating through the night. Sometimes I want to touch you, just a bit. A bit of your skin on my fingertip, a bit of your warmth against mine. Sometimes I want to hear your voice. Not much, maybe a word or two just to assure myself that you are real and that it wasn’t a dream when like a tree in bloom I had released my blossoms on you all at once knowing that it would be a long time before the next blossoming. Maybe never. Then suddenly everything fades and I don’t know what to say or do and this overwhelming quiet that cocoons me becomes a constant reminder of my sudden isolation, Was it really sudden or is it that I had always felt the undercurrents but ignored them. Imagined that they never existed. Denied their presence. Denied her presence even though it was always there. Like a shadow. Your shadow. You said you loved me but the way you spoke of her always told me otherwise. Under all the disdain, regret, sorrow I felt a sense of pride with which you took her name.

Maybe I need  this silence to pull myself out of the wreckage of my own dreams. There is an old knot in my heart that I need to untie. I don’t want to hurt loudly now. I don’t want all that I feel to find its way to you. I want to become invisible as much as you want me gone. What you give comes back to you . I gave myself.

Sometimes it is difficult to make out if  it is loss of feeling or a feeling of loss. Sometimes it is best not to stir the embers of a dying fire lest some sparks turn to flames and consume you.

Some things are better not found.  Sometimes ignorance is bliss. For a long time the question lingered on my lips and then on a fateful day I asked, ” Whom do you see when you close your eyes?” “No one.” You replied. “Who was I supposed to see?’

“The person you love most.” I said.  Your silence, your  hesitation unraveled everything like a loose thread in a knitted sweater. A thread I should not have pulled.

If one is unaware of something it is best that it stays that way till one is capable of dealing with the deluge of hurt and pain it brings. There is a reason why we don’t know it all. The knowledge that one cannot do a thing to alter, change or rectify it can suck the meaning out of life and leave one dejected and defeated. Suddenly I feel exposed to things I wish I had never known. They have emptied my life of joy. Of love. Of trust. Once more leaving me fragile, vulnerable and alone.

I have decided to stay in the peace of my new-found quietness. Someday maybe I will find myself. Someday maybe you will remember all that was good between us and then look for me. Perhaps it will be the day when you will find yourself. I hope you do because I want to be found and I want you to find me with the credence I long for, the credence that has faded with time. Till then I will weave myself warmly in a cocoon and wait for the unfolding which will come from you.

 

My Poem Is Part Of The Event ‘Foglie Di Poesia’ – VerdArti Festival, Porcia, Italy


Foglie di poesia or ‘Leaves of Poetry‘ is one of the many programs to be held during the VerdArti Festival at Villa Dolfin, Porcia, Italy from August 29- August 31. The theme of VerdArti is Nature, Art and Poetry.

 

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During this period short poems will be installed all around the beautiful park of the ancient Villa Correr Dolfin as an exhibition. The best poems will be read out on Sunday morning as part of the event FOGLIE DI POESIA. I am very happy and proud to be part of this grand event. To be featured among such talented artists and poets is an honor indeed.

This poem of mine will be installed in the park among many others for display reading . The translation in Italian is by Alessandro Canzian (Samuele Editore Due)

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BIRTH OF A POEM

While a poem sparks through a seed of wonder
and reaches up to the sky another swiftly travels
deep and beyond in complex tangles
under the surface of the soil
proliferating out below and in all directions
under debris and filth of cities,
along the grassy river beds
further down
into the ocean bed
slithering beneath countries, continents
into the deep forests
under the desolate deserts
through the heart of frozen mountains
birthing new poems
joined together by the same consciousness
same essence of
Earth, Water, Fire, Wind, and Void.

NASCITA DI UNA POESIA

Mentre una poesia germoglia da un seme di stupore
e arriva fino al cielo un’altra velocemente ramifica
nel fondo e nell’oltre dei grovigli complessi
sotto la superficie del suolo
proliferando sotto e in tutte le direzioni
sotto i detriti e la sporcizia delle città,
lungo i letti dei fiumi erbosi
e sempre più in basso
nel fondo dell’oceano
strisciando al di sotto dei paesi, dei continenti
nelle foreste profonde
sotto i deserti desolati
attraverso il cuore delle montagne congelate
gemmando nuove altre poesie
accomunate dalla medesima coscienza
dalla stessa essenza della
Terra, dell’Acqua, del Fuoco, del Vento e del Vuoto.

(Translation by Alessandro Canzian)

For detailed information please visit  this website

You can read about the program in English HERE and in the links above.

The parks of this beautiful villa will hold the three-day festival. Be there if you are around this area.

Villa Dolfin ( Video rights reserved – Giovanni Del Ben )

A Quartet


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1

this poem is a finder of voices,
its spectral form lingers
in the midst of human turmoil
looking for an empathic match
and, when found, it bridges
the divide between them
and changes

2

this poem is a tree
waiting for the birds
to return and fill it
with their songs.

3

For a moment
this poem
made sense.

Then
that moment
was over

4

This is poem is dead.
Killed in its mother’s womb.
It’s brain matter extruded,
just for a pack of cigarettes
in a chilling war game.
This poem wanted to play games too,
games that little children play.

Homemade Sweet and Spicy Karonda Pickle with Green Chillies and Garlic


Here is the recipe for the Karonda Jam that I make. Do try this too.

These days mom is making mango pickles of all kind so I decided to just indulge in Fruit preserves and other fruit based desserts but the sight of gorgeous Karondas at a local vegetable vender was enough to temp me to buy some. As I had done a recipe for Jam earlier I decided to share my version of Karonda pickle with hot green chillies and pods of garlic. Easy to make and ready to eat, this pickle can be made fresh or can be kept for at lease two weeks. I prefer to make small quantity through out the season.

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Karonda is a berry fruit that is said to have originated in the Himalayas and is found across north India and many other places across the globe. It is basically a tropical fruit. A sour and acidic fruit with no sweetness. It is full of calcium, Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Iron and other nutrients and is used as blood sugar stabilizer and for many other ailments. It freezes well and can also be kept in the fridge for at least a week.

The recipe for Karonda pickle includes fresh green chillies and garlic pods, both ingredients are full of health benefits and enhance the taste of the pickle.

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Recipe :

Ingredients

Karonda – 200 gm

Green chillies – 3-4 medium size

Garlic pods – 4/5 big ones

coriander seeds – 11/2 teaspoon

Cumin Seeds/Zeera – 1/2 teaspoon

Fenugreek Seeds/ Methi dana – 1/2 Teaspoon

Nigella Sativa / Kaluanji – 1/4 teaspoon

mustard seeds -1/4 teespoon

Fennel Seeds – 1/2 teaspoon

turmeric Powder – 1/2 teaspoon

coriander Powder- 1/2 teaspoon

Red Chilli Powder – 1/4 teaspoon

Salt to taste

Sugar- 1-2  teaspoon (optional)

mustard Oil – 3 table-spoon

 

Method

Wash and wipe clean Karondas. Take fruit which is not bruised or damaged.

Slit the fruit in longitudinal halves and discard the seeds.

Place it in water. Cut green chillies to any size you wish.

Heat a heavy bottom pan and add mustard oil to it. Bring it to smoking point and turn off the gas. Add mustard, nigella and cumin seeds and let them splutter. Add fenugreek seeds and let it turn a slight golden in color.

Dry roast coriander seeds and fennel and grind them coarsely. Some people prefer to grind them smooth.

Add the chopped green chillies and garlic pods slit in halves along with the karonda fruit to the crackling mixture and stir well. Keep the flame low.

Add turmeric powder, and other spices along with salt.

Stir so that the fruit is covered properly with the spices. Add the sugar. Stir again and turn off the gas.

Let the mixture cool at room temperature and then bottle it in an air tight jar.

Your pickle is ready to eat.

VERDARTI – tutto il programma


tikulicious:

Sharing my friend Alessandro‘s post about the art and poetry event he is hosting. I am super happy and honored to be part of this event and will be sending my poems too as a Verdarti. It is wonderful to virtually present among artists and poets of such caliber,
The event has the theme of nature and the arts. There are paintings, sculptures, art installations, workshops and poetry readings. This is a festival of arts and poetry. It will be held at Villa Dolfin, in Porcia, an ancient villa with a huge park where the poems will be placed inside the park as an installation. The best poems will be read out on Sunday morning… as part of the event FOGLIE DI POESIA.

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During the Festival Poet/Artist and friend Rachel Slade will have a personal vernissage (her first big, important personal show). Her work will be on large sheets of paper that will be attached to panels and installed on temporary walls. each sheet cut into the same dimensions but arranged together to form triptychs / diptychs. The work is really a direct response to her time in the US, which has been a strange odyssey in so many ways. According to Rachel,” There is a frailty / immediacy to the paper that I feel captures something fleeting, things below the surface… the intensity of being human, vulnerable… being in that moment where no amount of cleverness can save, you have to go further and deeper, risk your own ego.. because the paper doesn’t give do-overs, you can’t rework everything. You give it all or nothing.” She will display her new works on paper, maybe ink drawings and specific paintings done this year.
My good wishes and heartfelt gratitude to Rachel and Alessandro for giving me this platform.

Originally posted on Samuele Editore:

foglianomi

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